The Fine Art of Love and War
by ilovetvalot
Summary: Sequel to "Battle Lines". Their battle of wills continues as Rossi makes a sacrifice guaranteed to knock JJ for a loop. Multi-chapter.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: First of all, we have exciting news, my friends! Nominating ballots for "The Profiler's Choice Awards" are ready and waiting for you at the "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. So please, everyone, come on over and name some of your favorite fics and authors. Lets honor our favorite stories and authors on the site! We want to hear from you. Rules and guidelines are also available at the forum and as always, tonnie2001969 and I would be delighted to answer any questions that you may have. **

**For anyone willing to help us advertise the awards, we've created a short author's note template available on both my profile page (ilovetvalot) and my co-author's (tonnie2001969). We'd love to have everybody's help making this venture a huge and fun success. Please feel free to copy and paste it into your own author's notes and/or profiles! With your help, I believe this can become an annual event that we ALL look forward to seeing. I hope that you're all as eager as I am to see this incredible project lift off. And a very BIG thanks to all the authors helping us advertise these awards! We truly appreciate any assistance you can provide.**

**We also have a new interview for you at the forum with the incredibly talented kdzl. Please join us as we get to know her.**

**Finally, we've added a new discussion thread that will hopefully become a useful resource for everyone at the forum called, "Finding a Beta on Chit Chat on Author's Corner". If you'd like to advertise your beta skills and make yourself available to other authors, please come sign up. We'd love to hear from you!**

*****This story will be updated once a week on Wednesdays. I'm not sure if it will be "epic", but it will definitely be multi-chapter.*****

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter One**

It was official. She didn't like him any better today than she had yesterday. Or the day before that. Or even the day before that!

And now, to complicate matters in her already confused mind, the son of a bitch had gone and saved her damn life!

Looking around the waiting room of the bustling ER at George Washington Memorial, she silently cursed once again. He should have allowed her to take the damned bullet. It would have been far easier. Actually being nice to the cheerful arrogant bastard that was David Rossi was going to be a far more difficult task than actually being nice to the world class jackass.

If she had to do it all over again, she would have pushed him out of the way and took the bullet with a grin.

The conniving Lothario had been angling for this...she just knew he had. He'd plied her with his charm, his smile, his experience...and now, he'd resorted to becoming her human shield to get her attention. He'd actually said as much to her when he'd lain strewn across the pavement, smashing her body into the asphalt with enough weight to pound the air out of her lungs.

If she hadn't have been so terrified by the wet red blood rapidly inching its way across his crisp white dress shirt, she'd have hit him. Hard.

As it was, she'd merely pushed him over onto his back and immediately began putting pressure on the shoulder wound. "Damn you, David Rossi," she'd hissed through her clenched teeth, her fear barely hidden beneath her seething anger, "So help me God, if you die on me I'm going to kill you!"

He'd been laughing at her when he passed out, his eyes rolling into the head.

"Hey," she heard a familiar voice say softly beside her, jerking her back to the present. "Why are you crying?" Emily Prentiss asked gently, pressing a gentle hand against JJ's cold fingers. "You heard the doctor tell us that it was mostly a flesh wound. A couple of weeks in a sling and he'll be good as new."

"And cocky as ever," JJ sniffled, wiping self-consciously at the tears she hadn't realized she was shedding. Damn that man for saddling her with a guilt she'd probably never stop feeling. Yeah, a bullet in her own shoulder would have been a hell of a lot easier than feeling these turbulent, indescribable emotions.

"Probably," Emily nodded sympathetically, biting back a knowing smile at her friend's emotional response.

"Well, I think the tears are simply a side effect from learning that she's to be Rossi's nursemaid for the weekend," Penelope teased, chafing JJ's stiff arm as she looked anxiously toward the doors leading back into the body of the hospital. Turning back, she wriggled her blonde eyebrows as she declared, "I'm betting he already has one of those nifty little outfits all picked out for you."

"Bite your tongue. Don't even joke about that. He might hear you," JJ shuddered, her cheeks flushing in embarrassment. The last thing she needed to think about was parading around for Rossi half naked. Although, she wouldn't put it past that nefarious plotter to do exactly what Pen described. One rumor she'd had confirmed by her personal experience was that David Rossi was a horn dog. A well known, obviously skilled horn dog of the third degree. She'd watched him ogle one too many women in the field not to believe that.

"You know," Pen drawled, her smile growing slightly, "He's really not that bad, Jayje. He's just a bit..."

"Arrogant? Egomaniacal? Overbearing?" JJ supplied, consciously trying to overwhelm her feelings of fear for his wellbeing by feelings of anger at...well...HIM.

"I was going for eccentric," Penelope laughed lightly, leaning back in her seat.

"My Great-Aunt Tildy is eccentric," JJ snorted, clenching and unclenching her fingers around the Kleenex in her hand, shredding the paper. "Rossi is a rule unto himself."

"He's also the guy that took a bullet for you," Emily pointed out kindly, patting JJ's knee.

"I didn't ask him to!" JJ snapped. "I'd have gladly entertained some lead if I'd known that I'd be the one taking care of his anal-retentive ass for the duration of the weekend," she moaned.

"Face it, Gumdrop," Penelope chirped, "You owe the big lug of Italian ice."

"I hate you both," JJ grumbled, looking worriedly toward the door…wondering once again exactly what she had managed to get herself in to.

* * *

Glancing at his best friend perched on the side of the gurney, his arm in a blue sling, Hotch shook his head. Back less than six months and, already, Rossi had positioned himself on the wrong side of a gun. At least it hadn't been JJ's weapon, though. "Are you sure you don't want to just stay at the apartment with me? Jack and I can bunk down together and you could..."

"Don't even suggest it," Dave grinned, his eyes wide from the drugs and adrenaline of the moment. "First off, I don't think I'm gonna try to cram my fifty-two year old ass into Jack's race car bed. Second, if you think I'm gonna miss this opportunity with JJ, you're crazy."

"Dave," Hotch warned, crossing his arms over his chest, "Rules state..."

"Don't bother quoting Bureau code to me, Aaron. I'm the reason it was all written," Dave winked, pressing his good hand against the thin mattress to balance himself. "Remember?"

"Oh, I remember, all right," Hotch groaned, rolling his eyes as he began to pace the length of the small cubicle they'd been shoved into on arrival. "And I've worked really hard since you left all those years ago to create a cohesive team."

"Hey! I'm on board with cohesion. I've been trying to stick to JJ since I met her. Unfortunately, she's the only woman I've ever met that seems to find the name Rossi repellant."

"Then leave her alone," Hotch huffed impatiently.

"Can't," Dave said simply, shaking his head negatively, his smile growing even wider.

"Why the hell not?" Aaron asked balefully.

"I want her, Aaron. Whatever it takes, whatever I have to do, I want her," Dave replied truthfully, focusing on Aaron with a penetrating stare.

"Up to and including getting SHOT?" Aaron asked, gesturing at Dave's arm.

"You didn't think I was gonna stand there while the bullet hit HER, did you?" Dave asked sarcastically, pursing his lips, his earlier euphoria dimming slightly at the thoughts of that beautiful woman being wounded in any form or fashion.

"Well, no," Hotch admitted on a sigh. Waiting a moment as he paced a circle around the hospital gurney, Hotch spoke, his tone slightly critical, "You know she doesn't like you, right?"

"Yeah," Dave grunted, craning his neck to see beyond the partially drawn curtain to his room. Where the hell was everybody in this hospital? Especially, where were the medical professionals that could spring him from this joint?

"Like, at all, Dave. She doesn't like you at all," Hotch enunciated, rolling his eyes at the other man's obvious oblivion.

"How do you know?" Dave asked, casting Hotch a curious look.

"Because she TOLD me so!" Hotch exploded in frustration, barely resisting the urge to provide another wound in the stubborn man's body.

"Methinks the lady doth protest too much," Rossi smirked, winking at Hotch.

"Yeah, well, when I find her scrubbing your blood out of the carpet after she finishes plunging a knife in your chest, mumbling, 'Out damn spot! Out, I say!', don't say that I didn't warn you," Hotch retorted, crossing his arms over his chest once again. "I will happily help her find a place to hide your corpse."

And with those words, Dave knew which side of the battle lines his best friend had fallen on. And damn, he needed an ally. God only knew the war was just about to start.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: First of all, we have exciting news, my friends! Nominating ballots for "The Profiler's Choice Awards" are ready and waiting for you at the "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. So please, everyone, come on over and name some of your favorite fics and authors. Lets honor our favorite stories and authors on the CM site! We want to hear from you. Rules and guidelines are also available at the forum and as always, tonnie2001969 and I would be delighted to answer any questions that you may have. Now, let's get nominating! Our first ballots are beginning to trickle in and we love hearing from each of you! **

**For anyone willing to help us advertise the awards, we've created a short author's note template available on both my profile page (ilovetvalot) and my co-author's (tonnie2001969). We'd love to have everybody's help making this venture a huge and fun success. Please feel free to copy and paste it into your own author's notes and/or profiles! With your help, I believe this can become an annual event that we ALL look forward to seeing. I hope that you're all as eager as I am to see this incredible project lift off. And a very **_**BIG**_** thanks to all the authors helping us advertise these awards! We truly appreciate any assistance you can provide.**

**And please, fellow readers and authors, stay tuned for the beginning of our monthly writing endeavor, the "Candyland Challenge" over on Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum. Details will be coming out in the next day or so.**

**Also, we wanted to take a second to thank everyone that continues to read, review, favorite and alert our stories. Writing is a pleasure, but you guys, you make it worthwhile!**

**And please, fellow authors and readers, don't forget to get out there and nominate your favorite authors and stories. We're excited to hear from you!**

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Two**

Pacing from side to side of the small waiting area, Jennifer Jareau valiantly attempted to organize her battle plan. As far as she was concerned, wars were won by the well-prepared, ands she had a feeling she was going to need all the ammunition she could garner. Her enemy was underhanded and less than trustworthy, not to mention, highly capable of attacking from any angle.

Oh, who was she kidding with her polite thoughts, JJ thought bitterly. David Rossi was a sneaky bastard who wouldn't know how to play fair if St. Peter himself came down and gave him personal lessons.

Sadder still, she wasn't entirely sure she could win this battle of wills. She might have youth on her side, but he had experience in spades. And he fought dirty.

Glancing up sharply as she heard the sudden squeak of the exam room door, JJ steeled herself as she watched Aaron Hotchner push a grinning David Rossi's wheelchair into the hallway. Oh sweet Jesus, she thought to herself with a sigh, he was milking this for all it was worth! And that devilish glint reflecting from his eyes was aimed entirely in her direction, damn it.

But good breeding won out as she took an involuntary stop forward and asked Hotch, "Is he going to be okay?"

"You could direct your questions to me, Jen. I don't bite," Dave grinned, tilting his head ever so regally.

Ignoring him, JJ kept her eyes trained on Hotch's as she demanded, "What did the doctor say?"

"He said that I'm fit enough to go home," Dave grinned, adjusting his sling. "With supervision, that is."

Stiffening at the suggestion in his tone, JJ glared down at him with a look that would have frozen water. "Oh, I'll ensure your supervised, Rossi. I'll personally hire you a Nurse Ratched to see you through these difficult days ahead of you."

"Not quite what I'm imagining down here," Dave grinned, his eyes gleaming as he let his gaze linger on her beautiful face. "I think I'm going to need a more personal touch than some random medical professional. The doctor ordered a healthy dose of TLC, didn't he, Hotch?" Dave said over his shoulder.

"He did mention something about it," Hotch grimaced, shooting JJ an apologetic look. "He didn't, however, say who should be providing it," he said, thumping Dave on his uninjured shoulder with more force than was absolutely necessary.

"Well," Dave drawled, settling back in the uncomfortable hospital chair as he stared steadily at the flushing woman in front of him, "I think it would only be appropriate if said care was provided by the woman whose valuable life I saved."

"Taking the bullet would have been less of a headache," JJ replied acidly, crossing her arms over her chest and tapping her heel shod foot against the linoleum covered floor impatiently. "How long?" she asked, her question once again directed toward Hotch.

"Either Monday or until you kill him, whichever comes first," Hotch answered quickly, silently praying that his colleague would keep his mouth wisely shut while they underwent negotiations for his care. God, he didn't wanna be the one stuck with Rossi this weekend. Surely he hadn't pissed off the fates that badly, had he?

"Thanks for your support," Dave said out the side of his mouth, wondering if he could roll the chair backwards just enough to crush the other man's toes.

"Hey, my money's on her killing you and disposing of the body before sundown," Hotch shrugged.

Breathing deeply through her nose, JJ quickly sorted through her options. She could leave him to his own devices, it was true. But, she had a feeling that Rossi would merely spend the weekend making Hotch's life into a living hell. And, that bullet had been initially aimed at her. And he had unceremoniously shoved her down, thus saving her life. So, in a fashion, she supposed that she owed him.

"Okay," JJ conceded with a sigh, blowing out a deep breath. "Since the rest of our team has hastily departed," she said with a quick glare toward the exit her counterparts had virtually flown through some fifteen minutes earlier after the nurse had assured them that Dave was, indeed, on the mend, "and I know you," she said with a hard look at Hotch, "have Jack this weekend, I suppose I'm obligated to care for the miscreant in the chair."

"Miscreant," Dave said, pressing the hand to his uninjured arm to his heart. "That hurts, Jen."

"Not as much as I'm going to hurt you if you step as much as your big toe out of line, Rossi," JJ threatened, well aware of his so-called attempts at innocence. She knew him….well. He was anything but innocent!

"Thank God," Hotch muttered in thanks, dropping his hands from the wheelchair as if it had scalded him. "You know my number if things get out of hand," he said with a censorious look toward his older friend. "But, I'm trusting that they WON'T," he said, his eyes boring into Dave's.

"Yes, Dad," Rossi sneered, rolling his eyes. "Jesus, you two act like I'm the first cousin of the Antichrist."

"No, Dave," JJ replied with false sincerity and mock wide-eyed innocence, "I think you ARE the Antichrist."

"Is that any way to talk to the man that was ready, willing and able to take a bullet for you?" Dave grinned up at her, enjoying watching as her blush deepened. Damn, she was gorgeous when her cheeks flushed that becoming shade of pink!

"Exactly how long do you intend to hang THAT over my head?" JJ asked, aware that she was being less than gracious.

"Depends a lot on you, babe," Dave winked. "How amenable are you intending to be during this long weekend together?"

"Not nearly as amenable as Nurse Ratchet would be," JJ responded sweetly, shifting her bag up on her shoulder.

"Ouch," Dave winced. "And after my noble sacrifice," he huffed, crossing his one good arm over his chest.

Shooting Hotch a dark look, JJ grumbled, "I suggest you go now before I have a moment of sanity and reverse my decision to babysit."

Never a dim man, Hotch knew when to get the hell out of Dodge. And this definitely qualified as one of those moments. With a grateful smile at JJ, he turned on his heel and made tracks toward the nearest exit.

Watching his best friend and boss almost scamper down the corridor like a trapped rat finally freed from his maze, Dave grinned, looking back at JJ with barely concealed glee. "So, your place or mind, Bella?"

"Pardon?"

"Sorry, I should have been more clear," Dave smirked as he then enunciated each word. "Whose bed will we be convalescing in? Yours? Or mine?"

"WE will not be doing anything at all in my bed. Nor, will I be doing anything in yours," JJ snapped irritably, taking hold of his wheelchair and propelling it toward the elevators, her movements less than smooth. "I've been to your home, Rossi. What do you have? Six bedrooms? Eight?"

"But, Babe," Dave replied quickly, "I need my own personal nurse close, don't I? You never know what malady might result from this little gunshot wound that I got saving your gorgeous butt."

"My butt was never in any danger, thank you very much," JJ muttered.

"I beg to differ," Dave replied with a smile as she pushed him on the elevator, the wheelchair bouncing disjointedly as she rolled over the gap. "In fact, I'm fairly certain I'll have the scar to prove it," he said, gingerly lifting his injured shoulder with a convincing wince.

"Yeah," JJ grumbled ominously as the metal doors slid closed, trapping them inside, "and I'm pretty sure you'll have a few more before this weekend ends."


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: As you all know by now, we are in full swing on the Profiler's Choice Awards hosted on "Chit Chat on Author's Corner". And we'd like to offer an extra incentive to get those nominations rolling in. For the next five people to complete the nomination ballot in its entirety, I would be happy to write a oneshot of your pairing preference (hetero, slash or femslash, doesn't matter!). We have an abundance of incredible stories and authors to choose from this year and we have already received many wonderful nominations. Just to refresh your memory though, tonnie2001969 and myself (ilovetvalot) have removed ourselves from eligibility in the interest of avoiding all appearances of self-promotion. But, we want to make this an incredible experience for each one of you and give you a well-rounded final voting selection to choose from. So let's all put on our reading caps and pick our favorites! **

**Also, don't forget to sign up for our newest challenge at the forum. We're honoring Halloween with our first ever "Candy Land Challenge" and signups run through September 30th! Details are at the forum!**

**We also have a great new interview with another fellow CM author this week. Come and get to know THUNDERBRAT.**

**As always, guys, Happy Reading!**

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Three**

One very long and strained hour later, Jennifer Jareau gratefully pulled her SUV in front of the McMansion that David Rossi stubbornly insisted on calling a cabin. Cabin, my ass, she thought to herself as threw the vehicle into park next to his back deck. Two stories, over four thousand square feet, four full baths, and, if she wasn't mistaken, a wine cellar that rivaled those found in the hills and vales of Italy's best known vineyards.

If this was a plain old cabin, she'd eat Davy Crockett's freaking fur hat…and the raccoon it originally came from.

Glancing over at her now-silent passenger, JJ barely resisted the urge to reach out and pinch the living daylights of the stubborn pain in the ass. Of course he was sleeping now…now that they had arrived at their destination! Why couldn't he have given her that golden gift of silence from the beginning of their ill fated excursion?

But oh, no..not him! Not the Chatty Cathy doll that was David Rossi!

For the first forty-five minutes of their little journey from hell, he had been insistent on regaling her with the many varied and wonderful activities that they could embark upon during their weekend of enforced solitude. And damn him to dickens if he didn't pull out every trick in the book, reminding her every single time that she dared to voice any form of objection at his itinerary that she owed him for saving her life.

Oh, she was going to owe him, all right. And if he wasn't careful, she might just pay him by putting a bullet in the other shoulder. Turn about was fair play, wasn't it?

Sighing as she forced herself to maintain what was left of her sanity, JJ slid out of the driver's seat, making certain to slam the door with far more force than necessary. The rattling window provided her with just a smidge too much satisfaction. And when she arrived at his side, she unceremoniously jerked open the door and punched him…hard…in the uninjured shoulder.

"Come on, Rossi," she ordered, her teeth still set on edge. "We need to get you inside." Expecting an immediate response, JJ shifted impatiently on her feet as his head lolled to one side against the cushion. Frowning, her forehead creased as she jostled his uninjured arm again, calling, "Dave, we're here."

Still nothing.

Feeling her stomach twist with anxiety, JJ leaned into the SUV, her face hovering inches in front of his as she lightly tapped his cheek. "David?" she called his name worriedly, still getting no glimmer of movement. "Oh, God!" she whispered, her heart beginning to pound wildly in a mixture of fear of worry. "DAVE!"

Lips forming a slow smile, Dave slowly opened his eyes as his good arm wrapped securely around the beautiful minx before him. "Gotcha!" he winked, smiling widely. "I knew I'd find a way to get you close to me one way or another," he teased.

"Damn it, Rossi," JJ growled, barely resisting the urge to slap his smug face, his gunshot wound be damned. "You just scared the hell out of me!"

"So, the cool Jennifer Jareau CAN be rattled after all," Dave smirked, keeping his arm wrapped securely around her waist.

"Pull a foolish stunt like that again and you'll see just how efficiently I can rattle your brain when I slap you upside your oversized head," JJ snapped, bracing her hand against his chest as she squirmed against him. "Let me go," she ordered sternly, her words clipped.

"Now, why's that?" Dave asked, his dark eyes dancing as he enjoyed the flush climbing her normally porcelain cheeks. "Afraid you might enjoy my arms around you a little too much?"

"More worried that I'm going to end up blowing the sundown theory Hotch had all to hell when I pull my service weapon and put you out of my misery if that hand of yours wanders one inch lower," JJ said sweetly, one hand falling to her waist to rest meaningfully on her gun as her glittering eyes met his head on. No way in hell she was letting this obnoxious buffoon get the upper hand this early in her enforced incarceration at Casa de Rossi.

She had principles. She had intelligence. And more importantly, she had a Glock that could trump anything he could handle one-handed.

"Spoilsport," Dave muttered, reluctantly loosening his hold as she quickly backed out of the vehicle.

"Get in the house, Rossi," she demanded, taking a step back and pointing stridently toward his back door as he unfolded his long legs and stepped from the vehicle.

"You know," Dave grumbled, throwing a frown in her direction, "In my day, blondes were more fun."

"In your day, Marilyn Monroe was considered a bombshell. Today, it's Lady Gaga. What can I tell you," JJ shrugged, her tone as even and blasé as possible. "Times change."

"Who the hell is Lady Gaga," Dave asked quizzically over his shoulder, wincing as his wound pulled with the movement.

"Just get in the house, Rossi," JJ sighed, following him up the cobblestone path leading to the deck. Boy, this was going to be one very long weekend.

Pausing behind him as he struggled to use his left hand to extract the keys from the right pocket of his jeans, JJ watched as he turned to blink balefully at her.

"What?" she snapped impatiently, tapping her foot against the wooden planks of the oversized deck.

"I can't get it," he said, straight-faced.

"You can't get what?" JJ asked with a roll of her eyes. Honestly, was everything this weekend going to turn into a trial?

"The key," Dave replied succinctly, cocking his head as he suddenly swayed on his feet.

Automatically grabbing his arm to steady him, JJ frowned. "Where is it?" she asked, her fingers holding tightly to his elbow.

"My right front pocket," Dave drawled with a slow smile.

Dropping her eyes to his crotch without conscious thought, JJ's eyes widened at the prominent evidence of his interest in her. "You want me to..." she said, trailing off as she lifted her eyes back to his. Jaw clenching as she watched those obsidian eyes of his glimmer in the early morning sunlight, she shook her head quickly. "Nice try, Rossi. But I don't think so," she said with a grim smile, bending to move the flower pot by the back door and dislodging the spare key hiding underneath.

"How'd you know about that?" Dave huffed, moving aside when she jerked her head.

"Believe me, Dave," JJ muttered, jabbing his key into the door, twisting violently, "with you, I'll leave no stone or pot, as the case may be, unturned. Especially if the choice is between searching for the spare key that every bachelor known to man hides for emergencies or taking a dive into your crotch."

"Fun sucker," Dave sighed, following her inside the house, his eyes trained on the curvaceous slope of her ass. And idly, he wondered how long it would take him to remove the stick that seemed to be lodged there.

* * *

_**Author's Note 2 - Also guys, please don't forget that if you'd like to advertise the awards on your own profile pages or stories, there's a short blurb on my (ilovetvalot) and Tonnie's (tonnie2001969) profile page for you to copy and paste if you choose! Thanks again for reading!**_


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: As you all know by now, we are in full swing on the Profiler's Choice Awards hosted on "Chit Chat on Author's Corner". And we'd like to offer an extra incentive to get those nominations rolling in. For the next five people to complete the nomination ballot in its entirety, I would be happy to write a oneshot of your pairing preference (hetero, slash or femslash, doesn't matter!). We have an abundance of incredible stories and authors to choose from this year and we have already received many wonderful nominations. Just to refresh your memory though, tonnie2001969 and myself (ilovetvalot) have removed ourselves from eligibility in the interest of avoiding all appearances of self-promotion. But, we want to make this an incredible experience for each one of you and give you a well-rounded final voting selection to choose from. So let's all put on our reading caps and pick our favorites! **

**Also, don't forget to sign up for our newest challenge at the forum. We're honoring Halloween with our first ever "Candy Land Challenge" and signups run through September 30th! Details are at the forum!**

**As always, guys, Happy Reading!**

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Four**

Stomping into his surprisingly bright kitchen, JJ threw her tote bag down on the island. Turning to face the owner of the home she stood inside, she asked, teeth clenched, "Don't you think you need to catch up on your rest, Rossi? Now would be a perfect time for you to hit the sack and stay there for the rest of the weekend."

"Gee, now why didn't I think of that?" Dave asked, leaning against the high backed chair at the head of his kitchen table as he grinned at the beautiful blonde. Wriggling his eyebrows, he added, "And since you thought of that great idea, it's only fitting that you join me, don't you think?"

"If you've assumed that's going to happen, then that bullet obviously did more damage than anyone first realized," JJ retorted, refusing to allow herself to respond in any form or fashion to his obvious attempts at seduction. Pointing imperiously toward the hallway, she ordered, "Up the stairs, Rossi. You know your way to your own bedroom."

"Yes, I do, Jen," Dave agreed with a knowing smile, pushing off from the chair and moving across the kitchen toward his refrigerator. Opening the door and grabbing a plastic bottle of water, he said, "But I have no intentions of secluding myself up there all by my lonesome. I'd hate to be an ungracious host, you know."

"Oh, don't worry about me," JJ declared, slamming both hands to her hips. "And I give you permission to be ungracious. As a matter of fact, I WANT you to be ungracious. The less we see of each other this weekend, the better!"

"Now is that any way to treat an injured man?" he asked, gingerly raising his affected arm in the blue sling, emphasizing the effort it took to perform that simple motion. "Especially one that received his wound while protecting you?" Wagging the finger of his unaffected hand at her, he admonished, "Tsk, tsk, tsk, Agent Jareau. Shame on you!"

"Shame on me?" JJ echoed incredulously, blue eyes narrowing. "This, from the guys that HAS no shame," she accused, her face flushing in spite of her best efforts to control her emotions. Damn, that man could drive her up the wall without even trying!

"Ah, but I'm hurt," Dave countered, gesturing at his bound arm again. "You can't expect me to guard my words while I'm under the influence of those nice painkillers that you insisted I have, can you?" Dave asked innocently, his eyes dancing with merriment.

"First off," JJ ground out, her foot tapping against the intricately tiled floor beneath her feet, "I insisted on those helpful little pills so that I could, if God deigns to smile on me," she said with a quick hopeful entreaty toward the heavens, "keep you flat out on your back all weekend. Second, you, Agent Rossi, haven't exhibited so much as a modicum of shame since you rejoined our unit, and don't insult God by denying it. The lightening strike might miss you and hit me, and that WOULD piss me off!"

"Honey, if you wanted me flat on my back, all you have to do is ask," Dave taunted, throwing out his free hand in a sign of openness. "And incidentally, narcotics have very little effect on me. Well, at least none of the ones you'd be especially pleased about," Dave grinned, enjoying himself more than he had in years.

"What exactly do you mean by that, Rossi?" JJ asked, narrowing her flashing eyes on him in growing suspicion.

"Oh," Dave murmured, pretending to pick a spot of lint from his sleeve, "just that those little white pills don't quite have the normal sedative effects with me. Their benefits manifest a bit differently in this patient," he said, shrugging with his good shoulder.

"Manifest how?" JJ asked tightly, seriously considering shoving him in the nearby pantry and locking the door for the weekend. But with her luck, he'd tunnel out and just find another way to torture her.

"Why, they make me a bit...how shall we say it?" he asked thoughtfully, tapping his finger against his stubborn chin. "Amorous is the best description, I think," he said with a wink.

"Well, then," JJ huffed, opening the brown paper bag of his prescriptions that she still held, "we won't be needing these at all then, will we?" she asked, dropping the brown bottle of Vicodin into the nearby trash can. "YOU," she said with a grim smile, "can suffer."

"Honey," Dave laughed, "You don't actually think eliminating the pills eradicates the hard-on, do you?"

"Of course not," JJ smiled sweetly, dropping the bag of remaining medicines on the granite countertop as she casually reached for the largest knife in the conveniently located chopping block, "but, I have another cure for that problem," she said as she fingered the blade and cocked her head at him.

"Vicious," Dave chuckled approvingly, his grin growing even wider as he saw her blue eyes flash darker. "I think I like that."

"You would," JJ snorted, dropping the knife back into its sleeve before turning back to face Dave again. "Get this through your thick skull, Rossi. You and I," she said, gesturing between them, "are NEVER gonna happen."

"Tell me why not," Dave replied patiently. "Maybe I can change your mind," he stated gamely, leaning his good hand against the counter in a practiced casual pose.

"Really?" JJ asked, widening her eyes dramatically. "Are you willing to go through with a personality lobotomy? Because, in case you missed it, I don't like you."

Wincing, Dave stumbled backward for effect. "That stings, Jen!" he frowned.

"You can't possibly be shocked by that pronouncement," JJ countered, pursing her lips.

"Exactly what is it about me that puts your panties in a twist?" Dave asked, leaning against the counter as he watched the fair headed beauty begin to pace. Over the past few weeks, he'd noticed she did that when agitated, and most people gave her wide berth.

"Where the hell do I begin?" JJ huffed, glaring at him as she rounded the side of the island.

"Oh, I'm sure you'll find a place," Dave murmured, his lips twitching at the irritated scowl she threw at him. Damn, this was going to be more fun than he'd had in years. Finally, a worthy opponent!

"Why the hell are you grinning like an idiot?" JJ snapped, pausing as she paced around the kitchen table.

"Oh, honey, I'm just interested in my catalogue of current sins. Please, by all means," he said, gesturing for her to continue, "I can't wait to hear this!"

"Why?" JJ asked suspiciously, her footsteps faltering for a second as she waited warily for the answer.

"Because changing your mind is going to be one hell of a turn-on," Dave winked. And ducked. Just as the salt shaker whizzed past his ear.

* * *

_**Author's Note 2 - Also guys, please don't forget that if you'd like to advertise the awards on your own profile pages or stories, there's a short blurb on my (ilovetvalot) and Tonnie's (tonnie2001969) profile page for you to copy and paste if you choose! **_


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: Hello, all our fanfic friends! Several announcements today, so, hang on tight!**

**First, our forum, "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" has a new interview up with the fabulously talented klcm. Please stop by and get to know her and several other of the brilliant authors in CM fanfic. And if anyone has an author that they'd like to see interviewed, please shoot me a private message. I promise that we'll do our best to coax them over to talk to us!**

**And LAST CALL, GUYS!**

**Second, there are ONE days left for the October Challenge, "The Candyland Challenge". In the spirit of Halloween, the rules are simple. Name a candy, a pairing you'd like to see written and the pairing you normally write. You'll be assigned a pairing and a candy by October 1st. You will have until Halloween (October 31, 2010) to post a story with your candy prompt and pairing. It does NOT have to be a Halloween story...it just must contain a reference to the candy. For example, if you were assigned a "Goo Goo Bar" as a candy, you could make that the candy an actual BAR in your story. The more creative, the better. Sign-ups are at the forum or you can shoot us a PM (ilovetvalot OR tonnie2001969) if you're interested.**

**Also, please, please, please don't forget to get your nominations in for the first EVER "Profiler's Choice Awards. Nomination ballots and rules are at the forum. Don't forget, I'm (ilovetvalot) still willing to write a oneshot of your pairing choosing to the next five people to complete a ballot. This is a wonderful opportunity to give your favorite stories and authors the recognition that they deserve on ff. net. Also, please remember, in the interest of just saying "no" to self-promotion, ilovetvalot and tonnie2001969 are NOT eligible for nomination.**

**Also, readers & authors, please come sound off on our newest discussion thread. Tell us how you'd feel about the idea of a fanfic based CM Christmas Gift Fic Exchange. We're eagerly soliciting opinions and ideas!**

**So, please, drop by and get a blank ballot and tell the fanfic community who YOUR favorites are! We'd love to have you!**

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Five**

"Gee, Jennifer," Dave commented as he righted himself, adjusting his injured arm in the canvas sling. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you were wanting to do me permanent harm. I'm beginning to get a complex over here."

"Beginning to get one?" JJ parroted, rolling her eyes as she reached down to pick up the rolling glass bottle. Slamming the shaker down onto the counter, she added, her voice clipped, "You've had an egomaniacal complex from the day I first met you Rossi."

Cocking his head to the side, Rossi grinned as he motioned toward the shaker. "Someone should really talk to you about your homicidal tendencies there, honey. You could have given me a concussion, and then I might have needed your excellent bedside manner for an entire week instead of just the weekend."

"Oh, hell no. You get me for two days, then I'm free of this indentured servitude!" Her fingers twiddling against the metal shaker top, JJ humphed as she declared, "Trust me, Rossi, if I had hit was I was aiming for, your oversized hard head wouldn't have even dented. Next time, I'll just use a freaking bullet. Easier to aim and a whole hell of a lot more effective."

"Such language from such a pretty lady," Rossi taunted, watching as her fingers once again tightened around her makeshift missile. Holding up his free hand, he said, quickly, "Okay, I'll stop. For now. I think it's time for one of those antibiotics and the doc said I had to have food first."

"Think fast," JJ muttered, snatching an apple from the bowl of fruit on the counter and tossing it toward a grinning Rossi. "Breakfast," she sang out as the apple beaned him in the center of his forehead.

"Hey, you can kill a guy that way," Dave yelped, rubbing the spot on his forehead where he'd been impacted by the wayward fruit.

"I doubt it," JJ grumbled, rolling her eyes. "It hit you in the head. You can't hurt cast iron."

"Good one," Dave winked, leaning back against the counter again, "but, since you obviously missed what the nice doctor told me, I must have a well-balanced meal in order to eliminate the side effects of the medicine."

"Side effects?" JJ asked warily, narrowing her eyes.

"Mmmm," Dave hummed, bobbing his head. "Hurling everywhere because I took the pills on an empty stomach. But, if you wanna be responsible for cleaning that up, I'll..."

Holding up a hand, JJ shook her head as she growled. "Stop talking. Just stop talking, Rossi. Now. "

"But..."

"I'll make your damn breakfast," JJ huffed, slamming her hand to the granite counter. "Just sit DOWN!" she ordered, turning to jerk open the refrigerator door.

"I thought you'd see things my way eventually," Dave said with an easy smile, sliding into a kitchen table chair as he watched her invade his refrigerator.

"I hate you," JJ retorted, her words muffled as she stuck her head inside the refrigerator to inspect the contents. Rolling her eyes, she snorted. He had to be the only bachelor on the planet with a fully stocked refrigerator. Obviously that was a sign of something….she just didn't know what yet.

"Ah, hatred, the first cousin to love," Dave sighed philosophically, propping his chin in his hand as he watched her attractive rounded backside sway as she reached inside the icebox.

Snatching the eggs and butter from the shelf, JJ glared over her shoulder. "It's also usually the precipitating factor in most homicides. Second only to greed. And trust me, Rossi. You don't have anything I want," she retorted, kicking the appliance door shut with her foot as she dropped her supplies on the counter. "Do the math, will you?" JJ said with a sweet smile.

"Babe, I'm gonna start to think you don't like me if you keep talking like that," Dave said with a chipper grin.

"Promise?" JJ said brightly, her eyes widening facetiously.

"It won't have the effect you want, you know," Dave sighed. "I'll simply be forced to work harder to win your affections."

"Where the hell is your frying pan, Rossi?" JJ replied, ignoring his comment as she jerked open cabinet doors, slamming them loudly when she couldn't find her desired target.

"Hanging over your head," Dave said, pointing at the ceiling.

"Who the hell hangs their pots and pans?" JJ grumbled under her breath, reaching up to grab a skillet from the pot rack and slamming it down on the stove.

"Chefs of five star restaurants? My mother? Me?" Rossi smirked, appreciatively eyeing the creamy bare skin of her midriff as JJ's shirt rode up as she stretched for the just out of reach pan.

JJ tuned him out as she twisted the stove's burner on with a violent flick of her wrist. How had this happened? When she'd opened her eyes this morning, her only thoughts had been about the nice, long weekend she'd had ahead of her full of comfortable solitude. And now? She was trapped in a house...well, a mansion...with a man she spent most of her spare time fantasizing about. Oh, occasionally there was the odd X-rated moment, but generally, it was his untimely demise she plotted.

Twenty minutes later, she slid a plate of food...well, maybe that was a stretch...in front of Rossi's nose with a sense of satisfaction. It might not win any awards in culinary arts for presentation, but it was edible. Maybe.

"Bon appétit," she growled, nodding at the plate.

Staring down in horror at the runny eggs, lumpy oatmeal and lightly charred toast, Dave swallowed. "My mother generally cut the crust of the toast," he teased, unable to resist.

"Do I look like a five foot tall Italian woman?" JJ retorted, crossing her arms over her chest. Wait! His mother! Why the hell was she here with him when he had his own personal nursemaid ready, willing and able to sacrifice herself at the altar of her son. "Wait a second!" she muttered. "Why am I here, Rossi? I forgot you had a mother in town!"

Smiling benignly as he stirred the questionable substance masquerading as oatmeal, he shook his head. "Because she's not. She's in Italy visiting my Nonna and Nonno Rossi. It's her month away."

Deflating, JJ sighed, her momentary relief fading. "I forgot about that, too," she mumbled. It was a well-known fact the Rossi matriarch alternated months between the US and Italy, caring for her mother- and father-in-law. "Have I ever mentioned how disturbing it is that the Rossi family lives that long?" she grumbled, leaning against the chair.

"Just think of the long life we could share together," Dave grinned, taking a tentative bite of the egg like substance on his plate. Choking, Dave grimaced, forcing himself to swallow. "Good God, woman! Who taught you to cook?"

"Do I look like Betty Crocker to you?" JJ replied with a glare. "I'm a single woman consumed by her career. Who has time to cook? I eat take out."

Pushing the plate away, Dave wiped his mouth with his napkin. "Can I opt for the original apple?" he asked, winking at her.

And grabbing blindly for the fruit bowl, JJ snatched a piece of fruit. "How 'bout a banana enema?" she replied sweetly, waving the yellow fruit in front of his nose.

And as Rossi stared into her sparkling eyes, he knew, whatever else happened this weekend, somehow, he was going to soften that razor sharp tongue of hers.

* * *

_**Author's Note 2 - Also guys, please don't forget that if you'd like to advertise the awards on your own profile pages or stories, there's a short blurb on my (ilovetvalot) and Tonnie's (tonnie2001969) profile page for you to copy and paste if you choose! **_

**_Again, thanks to everyone reading, reviewing, alerting and favoriting this story!_**


	6. Chapter 6

_**Author's Note: Hello, readers! A couple of notes for you today.**_

_**First, please remember to stop by our forum, "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" and grab a nomination ballot for the first EVER Profiler's Choice Awards! You have NINE days remaining to nominate your picks and we'd love to hear from each one of you. Come, help us make sure that your favorite stories and authors get the recognition that they deserve.**_

_**Also at the forum, signups for our first ever ff. net based "Criminal Minds Christmas Gift Fic Exchange" are underway! All you need to do is reply to the thread at the forum or send us a PM telling us 1) Which pairings you would feel comfortable writing, 2) the central pairing you'd like to be featured in the story you receive as a Christmas gift, and 3) Name a Christmas carol plus three Christmas-y prompts you'd like to see in the story you receive as a Christmas gift (you'll only have to use three of the four items in the actual fic). Assignments will be given on November 1st and you'll have until DECEMBER 25, 2010 to post your gift. Further details are available at the forum. Please, let's make this a Merry Christmas for ALL!**_

_**And, please join us at the forum as we get to know another fellow talented author, Faith4000 in our "Getting To Know" series of interviews.**_

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Six**

Holding up his hands in a caricature of mock-peace, Rossi grinned as he reached for the offending fruit. "Careful where you wave that thing, honey. I might get ideas that would shock your innocent virgin mind."

Barely resisting the urge to swat him upside his overly inflated head, JJ snorted as she declared, "Trust me, you've not got anything I've not seen before."

His eyes widening as his face broke out in an excited grin, Rossi drawled, "Really? I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours. Then you can compare me to…."

"That's enough!" Groaning as she met his flashing black orbs, JJ realized then that she had indeed opened the proverbial door. Damn it, she thought darkly, where was that filter that was supposed to stop things before they just spewed off her tongue? This man had obviously caused her to lose what was left of her good senses…and she still had an entire weekend to survive! "Oh, get your mind out of the gutter, Rossi," she ordered, snatching the banana from his fingers as she threw it back on the counter. Pointing imperiously toward the stairs, she said, "You've eaten. You've taken your meds. You should now be going to bed. Doctor's orders."

"The only way I'm going up those stairs is if you tuck me in," Dave returned immediately, his eyes shining as he let his gaze linger on her flushed red cheeks. "And tell me a bedtime story...preferably X-rated."

Shaking her head as she closed her eyes for a bare moment, JJ mumbled, "Hopeless. He's hopeless."

"I am not," Dave protested, pressing a hand to his heart. "I'm simply in need of a positive influence in my life...someone to put me on the righteous path...someone to absolve me of..."

"Trust me, Rossi. It's not me you need," JJ said sweetly, taking his arm and guiding him toward the flight of stairs in spite of his earlier protests. "It's Mother Teresa."

Trudging up the stairs, Dave grinned to himself, hyperaware of her warm body pressing against his back, ensuring he didn't fall down the stairs.

Hitting the upstairs corridor, Dave sighed as he felt the fatigue start to invade his traitorous body. Hell, had that short trip just winded him? Leaning against the wall, he caught his breath.

"Dave?" JJ asked worriedly, her forehead furrowing as the light shining through the window bounced off his suddenly paling face. "You okay?" she asked, touching his arm.

"Fine," he murmured shortly on a nod, willing himself to stand.

Seeing his face pale slightly more as he straightened away from the wall, JJ felt a momentary softness creep into her heart. "C'mon, let's get you to your room, Dave."

"Inviting yourself into my bedroom, Jen?" Dave teased, swallowing down the slight wave of discomfort as he leaned into her soft body. "Music to a man's ears," he noted approvingly, wrapping his good arm around her narrow waist.

And as suddenly as the softening came, it went. "In your dreams, Rossi," she grumbled under her breath as he leaned more heavily against her. Honestly, why had she allowed herself to feel anything for this man? He was obviously put on this earth to drive her out of her ever loving mind!

"Dreams, fantasies, pretty much any time my eyes clothes," Dave grinned, turning toward the master bedroom. "I need to use the bathroom," he said without preamble, turning toward an open door to their right.

"And on that note," JJ declared with relief as he disappeared through the doorway, "I'll leave you to..."

"Oh, JJ," Dave sing-songed, overriding the sound of her voice. "I need your assistance, babe."

Glaring at the partially closed door, JJ shook her head, mentally cringing as she took a step backward. "Like I'm going to fall for that," JJ snorted, crossing her arms over her chest. "Whatever you've got going on inside that room, I feel certain you are more than capable of handling on your own, David. In fact, I wouldn't be shocked if you've been handling it alone for quite some time with your attitude," she added snidely, glaring at the wooden portal partially separating them.

"Jen," Dave whined, "I'm serious here," he stated plaintively, his voice muffled by the half-closed door.

Waffling for a moment, JJ finally released a groan as she stomped across the plushly carpeted floor toward the bathroom door. "I swear to God, Dave, if you're trying any funny business, I'm shoving you in your tub and throwing in a hair dryer for good measure," she warned loudly. Pushing open the door as she stood on the threshold, JJ's jaw dropped at the sight before her.

His unbuttoned shirt hanging loosely open, Dave awkwardly held a pair of silver scissors in his left hand frowning at his injured arm. "What the hell are you doing?" JJ asked, stepping inside the bathroom with him. Eyes traveling over the wall of his solid chest, her mouth went dry as she noted the firm muscles, the smattering of salt and pepper hair threading down his body to disappear into his jeans. Damn, she should have stayed in the other room, safely on the other side of the door. While the man himself might grate on her nerves, his body, on the other hand, was a delight to her eyes and her long neglected body felt a twinge of need.

Down, girl. Down!

"Trying not to kill myself," Dave mumbled in answer to her question, attempting to cut off his shirt left-handed again.

"Stop that!" JJ ordered, quickly capturing the scissors in her hand and stilling his movements. "Unless you wanna add a stab wound to the bullet hole, that is."

"Yeah, like giving YOU the scissors is a way to avoid that," Dave winked, leaning against the marble vanity. "I'd like to get more comfortable if I'm gonna get put to bed like a child."

Nodding once, JJ quickly cut the fabric away from his body, trying desperately to ignore the rise and fall of his well muscled chest. Gently pulling the now tattered shirt away from his body, she sighed. "There you go," she nodded, refusing to allow her eyes to fall any lower than his obviously broad shoulders.

"Uh, Jen?" Dave murmured, his eyes gleaming as he pretended to fumble with his zipper. "My shirt isn't the only thing I'm having trouble with in here, babe."

Eyes dropping to the waistband of his jeans in spite of her earlier convictions, JJ's swallowed quickly. Tightening her hands around the scissors in her hand, she steeled herself against the unwelcome images flooding her mind regarding what rested behind that denim fabric. "Now, Dave," JJ said sweetly, forcing a smile to her lips, "Is that really an area of your body that you want a sharp instrument around? Maybe you're more courageous than I gave you credit for? Or perhaps, you're just a glutton for punishment, but if you insist," she smiled, curling her fingers around the waistband of his jeans as she aimed the scissors toward a very delicate area of his anatomy.

"Or maybe not," Dave chuckled, grudging admiration for the sassy vixen sharing his space welling inside him. "On second thought, maybe I can muddle through this part," he relented, staring down at her, barely resisting the urge to lick his lips as he stared at her gorgeous face.

"If you're sure," JJ said with a small smile of her own, a brief surge of triumph shining in her eyes as she relinquished the scissors.

"I'm not stupid, Jen," Dave grinned, wriggling his eyebrows. "Trust me, honey, before the end of the weekend I plan on needing that part of my body."

And that quickly…her thrill of victory diminished.

David Rossi obviously had a plan…and it involved her.

* * *

_**Author's Note 2 - Also guys, please don't forget that if you'd like to advertise the awards on your own profile pages or stories, there's a short blurb on my (ilovetvalot) and Tonnie's (tonnie2001969) profile page for you to copy and paste if you choose! **_

_**Again, thanks to everyone reading, reviewing, alerting and favoriting this story!**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Author's Note: Hello, friends. A couple of announcements for you all today.**_

_**We have TWO days left to nominate our favorite stories and authors for first ever ff. net based Profiler's Choice Awards located at "Chit Chat on Author's Corner". The nomination deadline is October 15, 2010. We have had a great response so far and we still want to hear from you. Rules, deadlines, and the blank ballot are all located at the forum (which can be reached thru a link in both my and tonnie2001969's profile pages).**_

_**We'd also like to announce our first ever ff. net based "Criminal Minds Christmas Gift Fic Exchange"! Sign-ups are simple. Participants can either PM us or join on the forum thread **__**telling us 1) Which pairings you would feel comfortable writing, 2) the central pairing you'd like to be featured in the story you receive as a Christmas gift, and 3) Name a Christmas carol plus three Christmas-y prompts you'd like to see in the story you receive as a Christmas gift (you'll only have to use three of the four items in the actual fic). Assignments will be given on November 1st and you'll have until DECEMBER 25, 2010 to post your gift. Further details are available at the forum. Please, let's make this a Merry Christmas for ALL!**_

_**We also have a new discussion thread open for your comments called, "What Do We, the Authors, Owe Our Readers?" Please drop by and leave your thoughts.**_

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Seven**

Taking a hasty step backward, JJ glanced toward the open door as she said, "I think you've got things under control in here. I'll meet you…"

"Surely you're not going to leave me all alone, are you?" Dave interrupted, dropping the scissors well out of her reach on the side cabinet. "What if I can't reach the shower faucet?" he asked mildly.

"Shower?" JJ all but yelped, her eyebrows rising to meet her hairline as she stared in amazement at the man obviously intent on sending her to an early grave. "Who said anything about a shower?" Okay, yes, she'd agreed to take care of the ailing man...but there were limits to her obligations, weren't there? And besides, she didn't need the obvious connotations that very act would bring along with it…no matter how hard she tried to think otherwise.

"I always shower before I go to bed, Jen," he replied evenly, biting the inside of his cheek as he attempted to forestall the grin determined to erupt. Imagining that delectable body naked and wet in his arms had definitely become one of his favorite recreational activities in recent weeks. And now, with her standing in front of him, cheeks flushed and eyes flashing, the possibilities were looking all too tantalizing.

Catching the glint in his dark eyes again, JJ slammed her arms across her chest as she glared darkly in his direction. "I don't think your doctor intends for you to get your bandages wet, Rossi, so you can just get that idea out of your mind. Along with any other lascivious thoughts you might be having. Good God, we need to find a bleach scrub for your dirty mind!"

"You wound me," Rossi retorted, pressing his hand to his heart as he mock-pouted.

"Oh, I would if I could," JJ snarked, moving toward the door as she added over her shoulder, "Get a move on, Dave. I don't have any intentions of picking you up off the floor, so you need to be moving toward the bed PDQ."

"Now, Jen, you wouldn't deprive the man that saved your life today of a nice soak for his tired muscles," he said cajoingly, glancing longingly behind him at the deep garden tub.

Get your eyes off his chest, Jareau. His very nicely muscled, well defined chest. Look at his eyes...see the evil that is just overflowing, she coached herself. You will not let his rock hard abs influence a perfectly founded decision. You aren't a child...if you want to look at a man's naked body, buy a magazine!

Clearing her throat, she said, slowly, "Dave, I'm not sure what you're suggesting here, but..."

"It's even big enough for two," Dave said helpfully, pointing at the ceramic tub. "The contractor said so and since I've never tested what he said..."

"I am not taking a bath with you," JJ exploded as she visualized dropping a toaster in the tub with him. It would certainly take care of her current predicament. Perhaps she could find a long extension cord that would allow her to keep her distance and remove him from her life forever. A girl could dream, couldn't she?

"I'll even wear swim trunks if it will preserve your modesty," Dave offered generously. "You keep forgetting that I'm older than the rest of the guys on the team. My muscles need to be coddled after landing against the pavement the way I did."

"You landed on me, Rossi," JJ argued, her hands dropping to her hips as she narrowed her eyes once again. "I cushioned your fall. Don't rewrite history now to suit your own nefarious purposes."

"Honey, while I personally love the hell out of that body of yours, you've got to admit, you don't have much in the way of padding," Dave said reasonably, his eyes raking over her body once again, definitely enjoying the view.

Eyes widening, JJ took a threatening step forward as she growled, "Did you just call me bony?"

"No, I'm just stating that you have really puny padding," Dave countered, his eyes sparkling. Damn, how long had it been since he'd met a woman that he could have so much fun bantering with?

"My padding is just fine," JJ ground out, barely resisting the urge to stomp her foot against the tile floor. "Believe me, Rossi, no man has ever complained about my padding. In fact, I've been complimented on my perfectly proportioned padding many, many times."

"I see I've hit a nerve," Dave noted, his lips twitching as he leaned comfortably against the counter.

Forcing herself to take a step back before she gave in to temptation and attempted to drown him in his own toilet, JJ held up her hands. "Fine. Take the bath. With a thousand blessings, take the bath. But, be aware that I absolutely refuse to rescue your drowning ass when those pain pills kick into gear. You're entirely on your own."

"But..." Dave began, frowning when he tried to capture her hand and she sidestepped him. Where the hell had his coordination gone when he needed it most? And why did there appear to be two of her dancing in front of his eyes? Not that he minded...double the fun, right?

"Don't worry, Rossi," JJ said with an evil smile. "I don't think you're in any real danger here. After all, don't they say that shit always floats?"

"Ouch," Dave whined. "Now that just stings, Jen," he pouted, steadying himself against the sink as a wave of dizziness flooded him. Hell, those pills were packing a hell of a punch.

"I'll bet," JJ snorted, oblivious to his sudden loss of equilibrium. "But," she said, inhaling deeply, "since my mother and father did raise me to be a Christian woman, I will wait inside your bedroom. If I hear any questionable sounds, I'll be the first to call the paramedics for you."

"Well, aren't you just a trooper?" Dave retorted gamely, grinning loopily at her.

"Don't knock it, Rossi," JJ ordered sternly. Glancing at the slim watch on her wrist, she tapped the face. "I'd hurry if I were you. They way I do the math, you're gonna be flat out on your back in less than twenty minutes. I'd hate for that to happen under a foot of water, wouldn't you?" she said pointedly, closing the door behind her with an audible click.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Author's Note: Hello fellow readers and authors! A few housekeeping items for the day. First, we are pleased to announce that we are ahead of schedule and the FINAL VOTING BALLOT IS NOW AVAILABLE for the first ever ff. net based 2010 Criminal Minds Profiler's Choice Fanfic Awards at "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. To vote, you can access the forum through either my (ilovetvalot) or tonnie2001969's profile pages. Details, rules and the voting ballot are available at the forum. We had seventy-nine unique nominators choose 130 of their fellow author's works. So, let's all go grab a ballot and choose the authors we feel deserve those votes. You have until November 30, 2010 to get your ballot entered. Don't forget to send it to the Profiler's Choice CM Awards private message box. Ballots will NOT be accepted at either ilovetvalot or tonnie2001969 inboxes.**_

_**Anyone that chooses to assist us in publicizing the voting process for the 2010 Criminal Minds Profiler's Choice Fanfic Awards can also visit our profile pages. We have a blurb written to copy and paste to either your profile pages or author's notes if you choose. We truly appreciate all the assistance our fellow authors have given us and hope you will continue to support this venture.**_

_**Second, we'd like to encourage you all to take a look at our first ever ff. net based "Criminal Minds Christmas Gift Fic Exchange"! Sign-ups are simple and run through October 31, 2010. Participants can either PM us or join on the forum thread **__**telling us 1) Which pairings you would feel comfortable writing, 2) the central pairing you'd like to be featured in the story you receive as a Christmas gift, and 3) Name a Christmas carol plus three Christmas-y prompts you'd like to see in the story you receive as a Christmas gift (you'll only have to use three of the four items in the actual fic). Assignments will be given on November 1st and you'll have until DECEMBER 25, 2010 to post your gift. Further details are available at the forum. Please, let's make this a Merry Christmas for ALL!**_

_**We also have a new discussion thread open for your comments called, "With Which Character Do You Most Identify and Why?" available at the forum as well as a great new interviews with our fellow talented authors Gratiae and celticstarwolf. Please drop by and leave your thoughts. We are going to make every effort to interview all the nominees (if they are willing) before the final awards closes on Nov. 30. Please stay tuned to learn more about some of our fave authors.**_

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Eight**

Half an hour later, perched on the end of his king size mattress staring warily at the mostly closed door of the en suite bathroom, JJ was growing more and more worried. The soft splashes of water had long ago stopped wafting into the bedroom she sat in and now it was eerily silent.

Too silent. And a quiet David Rossi was a dangerous David Rossi.

Surely he hadn't drowned in there. His oversized ego should surely keep him afloat, shouldn't it? Pursing her lips, she shook her head. It had to be a trap. He was good at traps...it's exactly how she'd found herself on Rossi duty for the entire weekend.

And she'd be damned if he managed to find a way to rope her into one day longer.

"Crap," she groaned, dragging herself off his bed and forcing herself to the ajar door to the bathroom. "Rossi?" she called sternly, her lips tightening as she attempted to glare through the wood.

Listening closely, she heard nothing. Not a chuckle, not a sigh, not one whisper of sound. Frowning, she knocked loudly against the door, the sound jarring her own in ears in the still room. "Rossi!" she yelled, her tone bordering on exasperation.

Still nothing.

"So help me God, David Rossi, if this is your idea of a practical joke, I'll kill you myself!" JJ shouted angrily, knocking violently again as she grabbed the door knob to keep the portal from springing open.

Absolutely not one freaking sound emanated from the depths of the next room. "Damn it," she muttered under her breath, stealing herself as she shoved the door open.

Catching her breath as she caught sight of his head leaning limply against the tiled wall of the bathroom, the only visible part of his body from the threshold of the bathroom, her heart pounded, her feet glued to the carpet as she yelled, "Dave!"

Nothing! Nothing at all. Not a flinch or a whisper of movement. Heart in her throat, JJ raced across the tiled floor, stumbling to the edge of the tub and falling to her knees as she reached out to touch his cheek. "Dave?" she whispered, fear suddenly clogging her throat as she fought for the very air necessary to breath. Using the other hand to feel for a pulse in his neck, she released a long relieved breath as she felt its steady thump against her fingertips.

He was okay, her mind screamed in relief. He's okay, she repeated to herself as her eyes scanned the rest of his long body. Boy, oh, boy, she breathed. He was more than merely okay. He was...impressive, she admitted to herself, her eyes traveling over every inch of his body, submersed under the clear water.

And she had to admit that there was one particular part of his anatomy that was threatening to once again take her breath away.

Dear God, she'd allowed herself to imagine him without clothes before but there was no way her paltry fantasy could ever compete with reality. Naked, David Rossi was a sight to behold...as long as he kept his mouth closed. Now, if she could only gag him and enjoy the delights of his body, she'd be in very definite business.

Of course, based on the interest Rossi had expressed multiple times, she wouldn't quite put him above meeting her fantasy request. At any rate, the images now indelibly burned into her mind would feed her inner demon for a very, very long time.

"Shake it off, Jareau. You've seen sexy naked men before," she reminded her libido in silent sternness.

_Not quite that inspiring_, her libido shot back as her eyes took another detour down his muscled body.

Snapping out of her reverie, JJ reached out to shake Dave's limp arm. "Dave? C'mon, get up," she ordered, her cheeks burning as she realized the fun he was going to have in the light of her current predicament. Perhaps, she should just drown him and put him out of her misery.

She could make it look like an accident, couldn't she? Hell, bathroom accidents happened all the time!

Hearing him snore slightly, her eyes narrowed. Damn him, she'd warned against taking this bath. Banging on the side of tub, she watched his face. Not even a tiny reaction.

Now, what was she going to do? She certainly couldn't lift him...and leaving him in there...that just seemed cruel, even if he was an arrogant, oversexed boar of a man. Glancing over her shoulder, her lips tilted as her eyes spied an innocent water glass on the sink.

Ah, but a mere glass hardly seemed like enough to get his attention, now did it? Coming to her feet, JJ took the two strides it took to reach the sink, opening the cabinet underneath. Grinning widely as her eyes found the cream cleaning bucket she'd expected, she reached for it greedily.

Yes, she thought, filling the container with frigid water from the sink's spout, this would do the trick nicely...a nice refreshing shower to wake Sleeping Beauty from his slumber, she smirked, glancing over her shoulder at a still clueless David Rossi.

Grabbing the bucket from the sink, she purposefully stepped back to the garden tub, staring appreciatively down at his sprawled nude body one last time. Enjoy this silence, JJ, her conscience advised. It's probably going to be the last one you experience for the entire weekend if you allow your inner imp to play.

Biting her lip indecisively, she faltered for a moment. Did she dare begin a war she might not be able to win?

Do it, JJ. Think of all those times his arrogant mouth has taunted you...if any man deserves this, it's him. Besides, let's see what cold water does to that unsuspecting manhood of his. Is he really going to be all that impressive after he's been doused? Maybe we can kill this strange attraction...nip it in HIS bud, so to speak.

Decision made, JJ suppressed a giggle as she hefted her weapon over the tub.

"Upsy Daisy, Davey," she crooned loudly, tipping the bucket just as his startled eyes popped open.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Author's Note: Hello fellow readers and authors!**_

_**FINAL VOTING BALLOT IS NOW AVAILABLE for the first ever ff. net based 2010 Criminal Minds Profiler's Choice Fanfic Awards at "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. To vote, you can access the forum through either my (ilovetvalot) or tonnie2001969's profile pages. Details, rules and the voting ballot are available at the forum. Please read the rules first…we want your vote to be counted, so please follow the rules! PLEASE COME ON OUT, VOTE AND HELP US SUPPORT THIS VENTURE!**_

_**Want to help publicize the awards? Check out our profile pages for a blurb you can copy and paste to your profile pages and author's notes. We truly appreciate all the assistance our fellow authors have given us and hope you will continue to support this venture.**_

_**Take a look at our first ever ff. net based "Criminal Minds Christmas Gift Fic Exchange"! Sign-ups are simple and run through October 31, 2010. Check out the details on the forum...sign-ups are simple and run through October 31, 2010. Please, let's make this a Merry Christmas for ALL! Come on over and check us out...You have FOUR days left to sign-up!**_

_**Looking for a prompt to whet your writing whistle? Our newest Friday Fortune Cookie Prompt is now up at the forum….and this week's suggestion was made by celticstarwolf, so be sure to check it out!**_

_**Ever wondered how other authors and readers feel about their favorite characters on our favorite show? Visit the forum to check out our new discussion thread open for your comments -"With Which Character Do You Most Identify and Why?" And while you're perusing the posts, check out our newest interviews with fellow authors rain1657, bdd4evr, Seditionary, and Muffins taste good!**_

_**Thanks to everyone reading, reviewing, favoriting and alerting our stories! We think you're all awesome! And now…on to our story!**_

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Nine**

Sputtering wildly as he tried to catch his breath, David Rossi jerked to the side as waves of freezing cold water threatened to send him to a watery grave. "What the hell!"

Grinning widely at the obviously soaked man sloshing around in the oversized tub, JJ tsked as she dropped the bucket loudly on the floor. "Now, Rossi, is that any language to use in front of a lady? What would your sainted mother think?"

Scrubbing a hand over his wet face, Rossi glared up at his tormentor as he snorted, "I'm not exactly worried about my mama's opinion right now, you little minx. What in the name of God made you decide to create a waterfall in my bathroom?"

"Gee, Dave," JJ said in mock-innocence, schooling her face to reflect care and concern, "I couldn't wake you up, and you know how worried I get about you! Why, what if you had kicked the bucket on my watch?"

"And see, I was worried that you didn't care for me at all!" Rossi retorted, his lips tilting into a sly grin as he watched her eyes seem to travel down his body. The water had settled once again into a placid pool around him, and Dave quickly decided that it was time to once again stir the pot…and this time, he was going to heat things up instead of cool them down. Reaching out a quick hand, he grabbed her fingers and tugged her closer….and right into his bath with him.

Landing against his slick chest with a thud, JJ felt the air leave her lungs. Left momentarily stunned, she could only lift shocked eyes to his merrily dancing gaze. Squirming against him in the water, she blustered, "I can't believe...did you just..."

"Cat got your tongue, babe? Or maybe a fish swam away with it," he commented, wriggling his eyebrows as her firm body slid against his in all the right places. Damn, but she was a gorgeous armful….and as far as he was concerned, he planned on keeping her right within his arms permanently.

"I'm going to kill you, Rossi," she shrieked, her yell bouncing off the tiled walls as her had slapped sharply at his arm, water droplets splattering all around them.

"Well, at least make it fun and torture me a little first," Dave laughed as he turned their bodies, submersing hers in water and watching as her thin shirt molded to her breasts.

"Let me out of here, you bastard," JJ spat, struggling against the arm restraining her, her legs kicking mightily against the tub. "I thought you were injured."

"Honey, I assure you, all my important parts work," Dave told her, eyes twinkling. "Especially the one I caught you eyeing a scant moment ago."

"I was not," JJ sputtered, feeling her cheeks flame under his knowing stare. "I was merely trying to see if you were still breathing or not..."

"My eyes were open, Babe. And your gaze was nowhere near my chest," Rossi accused, tickling her ribs, his fingers sliding against the thin, soaked cotton shirt.

"Stop that," JJ said, unable to suppress her giggle as his fingers found a particular sensitive spot. Capturing his questing hand, JJ shook her head as she declared, "You're impossible. Absolutely impossible."

"You get used to that," Dave shrugged, sliding to the side as he avoided banging his injured shoulder against the lip of the tub. "Just give it a chance."

"So you can drown me?" JJ retorted, trying to sit up, sliding against the slippery tub in the process.

"You started it," Dave argued, biting back a moan as her body squirmed against his. "I didn't try to send you to an icy grave, did I?"

"I told YOU not to take the bath. You ignored me," JJ snapped, finally getting one hand wedged between them and using his solid chest to push up on. Damn, why the hell did those muscles have to be as firm as they'd looked, she asked herself ruefully.

Shifting her in his good arm, Dave grinned unrepentantly. "All part of my nefarious plan," he told her with eyes that glimmered purposefully.

"Dave," JJ growled as she hauled herself out of the bathtub, dripping all over the floor, "whatever so-called plan you have, forget about it," she advised, reaching for one of the fluffy towels on the rack and wrapping it around her drenched body. "Preferably before it gets you killed."

Cocking his head as he watched rivulets of water roll down her neck and drop into the cleavage of her shirt, Dave grinned wickedly. "Sweetheart, I already got you all wet for me...you might as well enjoy it."

She wasn't sure with whom she was angrier at the moment. He, on one hand, was obviously enjoying her discomfort immensely and that alone infuriated her. But, she, on the other hand, couldn't deny her body's response when his silky voice made those kinds of insinuations. Even now, as irate as she was, her core clenched, reminding her that the attractive naked man in front of her, as arrogant as he was, wanted him.

"Would you please cover up?" she requested tightly averting her gaze from his body, her cheeks reddening as she realized exactly how close she had been to that amazing body.

"Anything for you, cara," Dave grinned, rising obediently from the tub, unashamed of his nudity and offering her a full view of his body. "I'll need my towel, of course," he grinned, holding out a hand for the towel wrapped around her. "I can't reach the rack with my bad arm."

Back down now, Jareau, and you've lost this battle, her mind chided as her heart hammered in her chest. Meeting his gaze squarely, JJ pasted an unaffected smile on her lips and reached blindly for the other hanging towel on the rack. "Of course," she said, hurling it at his face, "How remiss of me."

Catching the fabric mid-air, Dave laughed as he wrapped the material around his hips. "Didn't I tell you we'd have fun this weekend?" he asked good-naturedly, stepping out of the tub.

Glowering at his smug face, JJ fumed. "Yeah, it's been a real riot so far. Just try not to get in any trouble for the next few minutes. Evidently, I need to change clothes," she seethed, tightening the terry cloth around her shoulders as she tried to cover a very interested part of her anatomy.

"Or you could just lose them altogether," Dave suggested hopefully, watching how her thin slacks molded even tighter to her lovely derriere. "I wouldn't mind. I'm a big fan of nudity."

"Gee, I'd never know," JJ muttered, flouncing out of the bathroom as his chuckles followed her into the bedroom.

Damn, this was going to be the longest weekend of her life.


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note: Hello, readers! Just a couple of notes today -**

**Friends, don't forget to vote in "The Criminal Minds Profiler's Choice Awards" headquartered at "Chit Chat on Author's corner" forum (it can also be reached thru my profile page or tonnie2001969 profile page if you choose). We've had a phenomenal response so far, but we want each one of you to be heard thru your vote. Voting ends on November 30th and details can be found at the forum. Please everyone, let your voice be heard and come choose your favorite nominees and recognize them.**

**New interviews are posted on "Chit Chat" with our very talented co-authors: MissdaVinci77, ChristyKateBrewster, Luna Argenta, jungleanimal, and Hopeless-Romantic-Daydreamer. Check them as well as several of our other nominees out. We'll be adding more as we draw closer to the end of the awards!**

**Thanks to everyone that continues to read, review alert and favorite...we truly appreciate each one of you!**

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Ten**

Stomping down the steps, water droplets marking her path, JJ felt her jaw start to clench as she ground her teeth tightly together. What was it about that infuriating man that managed to get on her very last nerve! Just when she thought she had the upper hand, he managed to flip the tables in his direction before she even realized he had made a move!

Sliding slightly as she stepped onto the hallway floor, she grabbed the newel post for balance. It would serve him right is she fell, she thought darkly. And he needn't think that she wouldn't sue his ass for every last penny he had. She'd hire the best personal injury attorney in the nation and file for physical injury and emotional agony.

Hell, she'd demand more for the emotional agony part, she thought with a happy nod of her head. After what he'd already put her through, he owed her a literal fortune!

Cheered up by her litigious thoughts, JJ tightened the terrycloth towel around her soaked shirt as she hurried toward the kitchen. Grabbing her black go-bag off the counter, she skidded toward the small downstairs bath just as she heard a buzzing sound coming from the bag. Quickly digging into the side pocket, she pulled out her Blackberry just in time to see Penelope Garcia's chipper smiling face appear on the screen.

Clicking on the go button at the same time she closed the door to the small bath, she answered tersely, "This better be good, Pen. I've got to get out of these wet clothes before I catch my death of pneumonia

"And why are you all soaked, my little chickadee?" Garcia's voice responded immediately, a laugh evident in her inquisitive tone. "Have you and that hunky hunk of a hunk profiler been skinny dipping already?"

"Oh, that's hilarious," JJ seethed, her grip tightening on the phone as she dropped the soaked towel to the floor. "He tried to drown me, Pen! And," JJ snapped, looking down at the white silk shirt glued to her skin, "he ruined my favorite blouse."

Hearing the fury behind her best friend's words, Garcia choked back her laughter. Not many men were able to ruffle the almost always poised Jennifer Jareau. And of those rare few that actually had managed to disturb her friend, only one, as far as she knew, had ever actually been aware of his unique ability.

David Rossi.

The charming older man had taken unerring delight in pushing the indomitable JJ to her considerable limits. And Penelope knew that while it was a hoot and a holler to watch, being on the receiving end had to be tangling her best bud's orderly mind into knots. If there was one thing JJ hated, it was not being in control.

And, at the moment, Penelope Garcia was beginning to fear for Rossi's safety AND JJ's sanity.

"Now, peaches, let's just take a deep breath and refocus our energy," Pen soothed, twirling her colorful pen in her fingers.

"You mean refocus on how I'm going to kill him or where I'm going to hide the body? Because, honestly, Pen, those are the only two things I'm prepared to deliberate right now."

Hearing her normally placid pal so bent on bloody mayhem, the fury obvious in every clipped word, Pen's eyes widened. She'd just known this weekend would create some pretty spectacular fireworks. She only hoped somebody didn't spontaneously combust in the process of igniting them.

"It can't be that bad, can it, Buttercup?" Pen asked lightly.

"No, of course not, Garcie," JJ replied, her voice deceptively sweet before barking, "It's worse! Get me the hell out of here!"

"No can do, my little ray of BAU sunshine. Rossi specifically requested you for convalescent duty," Pen replied, her red curls bouncing against her shoulders as she shook her head.

Groaning, JJ ran a hand through her damp tresses. "Why? Why me?" she asked into the air, not really expecting an answer. "He could con any idiot woman in the BAU into his bed. Why is he picking on me?"

"Have you looked in the mirror lately," Pen grinned mischievously. "Chica, you're stacked," she mock whispered.

"No," JJ said resolutely, studiously ignoring the small mirror right in front of her in the small bath. "What I am is a challenge. One he wants to conquer," she mused, her eyes narrowing as a devious thought sprang to mind.

"I know that tone, Jennifer Jareau," Pen said quickly, her ears perking up. "What are you thinking, mi amiga? Cause I'll tell you right now, I don't think I can scrape up enough bail money for a capital offense. We might get by with a misdemeanor, but it'll be close."

"Nothing so easy, Pen," JJ said, a slow smile forming against her lips. "Killing him would be too easy. I want him to suffer. A lot."

"Oh, Jeez, you're plotting," Pen groaned. People often thought she was the dangerous schemer in their close knit group. But, truth be told, a pissed off JJ didn't have beans on her. Few knew that simple yet important truth, but she was one of the select few.

"Like he hasn't been," JJ retorted, her lips pursing. "I have to fight fire with fire."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's all fun and games until somebody sets their hair aflame and singes their eyebrows," Pen muttered, sighing heavily. "What's the plan, my nefarious nymph?"

"It's so simple," JJ grinned, propping her hip against the counter, her eyes sparkling with triumph. "I should have thought of it ages ago."

Shaking her head, Pen squeezed her eyes shut. "Whatever you're planning, girlie, remember that our Agent Rossi is a wily one," she warned.

"Of that, I am aware," JJ ground out, glaring down at her sodden clothing, toeing off her shoes. "But, all Rossi wants is the chase, Pen," she explained.

"Huh?" Pen grunted, confused. "Did that sterile smell at the hospital alter your brain cells, JJ?"

"Nope," JJ said firmly. "Garcia, I'm going to give Agent David Rossi exactly what he's been asking for...and dare the bastard to keep up. Let's all sit back and watch what happens when the hunter becomes the prey," she drawled, raising her chin defiantly as she prepared to meet the enigma that was David Rossi head on.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Author's Note: Hello, wonderful readers. I hope everyone in the good ole US of A remembered to adjust their clocks for daylight savings time. (I didn't). At any rate, we have just a few announcements for everyone today.**_

_**First, please remember to try and spare a few moments over the upcoming three weeks and VOTE for your favorite authors and stories in the "Profiler's Choice Awards" at "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. You have through the end of November 30, 2010 to let your vote be heard and we want to hear from each one of you. If you don't know much about forums, links can be found through either my profile (ilovetvalot) or my awesome co-author (tonnie2001969). Remember, anyone that wants to help advertise the awards has our unending gratitude and there is also a short blurb you can use on our profile pages.**_

_**Second, we also have a new fortune cookie prompt for you at the forum compliments of our "Fortune Cookie Friday post (Sorry, we forgot to advertise it yesterday). And we also have great new interviews with several of our nominees. Today, we are "getting to know" the following: b-mystique, Nagen66, Monkeywand, and Hidge. More interviews are coming soon!**_

_**Many thanks to everyone still reading these stories. We really appreciate you. Now, on with the show!**_

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Eleven**

Despite Penelope Garcia's very vocal warnings, Jennifer Jareau's determined mind had formed her plan. Her very devious, incredibly dangerous plan.

Now, she had to implement it.

Searching through the unzipped black leather bag on the bed of Rossi's guest bedroom, she pulled out clothing and eyed each garment with a critical eye. Nothing worthy of seduction, she thought grimly, holding up a red sweater and giving it the once over.

Finally settling on a black satin camisole over laid with an emerald cardigan that made her eyes pop, JJ pulled on her slim black jeans. Surveying herself in the mirror, she pulled the scrunch holding her hair out and gave her long blond tresses a toss.

She'd do. She wasn't femme fatale beautiful, but she could definitely send the "come hither" vibe in her current outfit. The camisole flashed just the right amount of cleavage and the olors drew attention to her flawless creamy skin. And if she knew David Rossi like she was certain she did, he wouldn't be able to keep his eyes above her neck…which was exactly part of her plan.

For a moment, she wondered if this was the right path to take. After all, it could all backfire in her face. She was self-aware enough to know that what she felt for the infuriating man in the next bedroom was an attraction that could burn out of control if she wasn't careful. And here she was about to throw gasoline on the already insistent flame.

But what choice did she have?

She'd tried to dissuade his desire for her by being cold. Freezing him out had nearly gotten her drowned. It was time to pursue a new line of attack.

And this was it, she thought resolutely, straightening the seams of her camisole. Her moment of truth.

Walking into the hallway, she paused at Dave's ajar bedroom door. Knocking softly, she stepped inside. "Doing okay in here?" she asked sweetly as she smiled at the man stretched out on the bed.

Gazing at the vision before him, Dave blinked several times, unable to form word. She looked mouthwateringly lovely, he thought as his eyes traveled slowly over her luscious curves only accented by the clothing she'd chosen. "You look..."

"Dry?" JJ smiled, cocking an eyebrow at him as she sauntered across the room to perch on the edge of the bed beside his hip.

Eyes widening as she dropped down beside him, Dave caught his breath as she slowly leaned over him, bracing one arm on the other side of his hip as she touched his brow. Her subtle perfume teased his nostrils as the camisole she wore gapped slightly, allowing him a nice view of her even nicer breasts. "Wh-what are you doing, Jen?" he asked cautiously as the back of her hand met his forehead.

"Just checking for fever, Dave," JJ answered innocently, barely suppressing a grin as his eyes fell on her cleavage again. "The nurse at the hospital said I needed to keep an eye on your temperature. Infection, you know."

"Oh, I'm definitely hot," Dave mumbled, swallowing hard as he realized that his throat was suddenly inexplicably dry. "But it's got nothing to do with my unfortunate accident this morning."

"Is that what you're choosing to call it now?" JJ smirked, letting her fingers along his whiskered skin. "I don't think there was anything accidental about it...you purposefully shoved me out of the way, didn't you?"

"In the old days, I would have managed that without getting shot," Dave said with a wink as her hand trailed down his jaw. "Not that I'm complaining, Jen," he murmured, shifting against the mattress. "You were definitely worth the risk."

"Really?" JJ teased. "You still feel that way...even after our little watery war earlier?" she asked, forcing her fingers away from his jaw. Damn it, what was it about that sly half smile of his that caused her internal organs to liquefy?

"All's fair in love and war, babe," Dave grinned, leaning his head back against the pillows, suddenly missing her earlier touch.

"I suppose so," JJ drawled. "But I've decided that in the interest of both our continued safeties and your recovery, we need to reach a truce."

"A truce, huh?" Dave grunted suspiciously as her body settled against his hip, warming his skin immediately. "And what brought on this decision?"

"Well, it simply dawned on me that you had risked your life for mine today...and that earns you a small measure of respect in my eyes. I might have appeared a smidge unappreciative earlier and I'd like a chance to rectify my mistake. If you'll allow it, of course," JJ stated demurely, all but batting her eyelashes.

Oh, something was definitely afoot. He was almost drowning in the crap she was dropping. "What's your game, Jareau?" Dave asked, his voice plainly disbelieving. "Twenty minutes ago you were ready to slaughter me in my sleep. And now, you're cuddled beside me on the bed?"

"That stings, Dave," JJ said, her lips pursing slightly in an adorable pout. "I'm trying here," JJ said, slapping his chest lightly.

Yep, Dave thought with a mental snort, she's definitely up to something. But, his libido chimed in as his eyes walked down her body again, if she keeps displaying her assets like that, he could definitely overlook the fact that he was very definitely being played. To what end, he didn't know...but he could play along. For now. "My humbles apologies, cara," Dave smiled as he captured her hand against his chest. "Perhaps, if you're serious, we need to cement this particular truce with something substantial. That might convince me that you're on the level," he suggested almost chivalrously.

Now, this was the opportunistic bastard she knew and...don't go there, Jareau. Lips quirking, JJ tilted her head to the side. "What did you have in mind, Agent Rossi?" As if she didn't already know. "And before you speak, know that I'm not sleeping with you," she declared sweetly.

"Who said anything about sleeping?" Dave grinned lazily. "Trust me, Jen, if you ever come down off your high horse and agree to come to bed with me, sleeping will be the last thing on my mind."

"You do realize that I'm trying to be gracious here, right?" JJ asked impatiently, mentally kicking herself...damn it, the name of the game was seduction, not sparring.

Laughing at her put out expression, Dave nodded. "You are, aren't you? Fine, Jen...let's seal this peace pact with a simple kiss."


	12. Chapter 12

_**Author's Note: Hello, wonderful readers. At any rate, we have just a few announcements for everyone today.**_

_**IMPORTANT: TIME IS RUNNING OUT!**_

_**WE HAVE 11 DAYS LEFT TO VOTE! LET'S ALL GET MOTIVATED!**_

_**First, please remember to try and spare a few moments over the upcoming three weeks and VOTE for your favorite authors and stories in the "Profiler's Choice Awards" at "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. You have through the end of November 30, 2010 to let your vote be heard and we want to hear from each one of you. If you don't know much about forums, links can be found through either my profile (ilovetvalot) or my awesome co-author (tonnie2001969). Remember, anyone that wants to help advertise the awards has our unending gratitude and there is also a short blurb you can use on our profile pages.**_

_**Thank you to everyone taking the time to vote and advertise for us. We appreciate each and every one of you. The responses are starting to roll in and we have a tight race running in several categories. Let your opinion be heard. It is not necessary to vote in EVERY category. If you only read certain pairings, feel free to only vote in those areas. The important thing is to vote.**_

_**Free one-shots to the next five people to cast their votes...any pairing and three prompts of your choosing (I'll use two!). Let's all get on the ball and have some fun!**_

_**Second, we also have great new interviews with several of our nominees. Today, we are "getting to know" specerfan109. More interviews are coming soon!**_

_**And we just want to take an extra moment to let our readers know how much we enjoy hearing from them, so please, take a second and shoot us a private message or review. We'd love to hear from you!**_

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Twelve**

"All the great Rossi wants from me is a kiss," JJ laughed derisively, propping an elbow against his chest as she stared down at his handsome face, her throat suddenly tightening as she tried to swallow.

"Oh, what I'd like to do with you would shock those cute ears of yours," Dave grinned wickedly, wriggling his eyebrows as he settled comfortably against his pillow. "I'll be satisfied with a kiss. For starters, that is."

"Confident your kisses will inspire me to fantasize of more?" JJ asked, fighting down the urge to wipe that arrogant smirk off his face even as her own body began to hum.

"Jen, I think if you're honest with me...and yourself…you'll admit that you've already done quite a bit of fantasizing. Just like I have," Dave murmured, lifting his hand to finger a soft tress of her hair. "Haven't you?" he asked deeply, his eyes daring her to lie to him.

Oh, damn, JJ thought miserably...so this is what Penelope had meant when she'd warned her about drowning in the deep end of the ocean. She understood it now. Because, despite how loudly her mind screamed at her to swim away...all she really wanted to do was stay still and immerse herself in those heady waves crashing toward her. And she honestly, truly, completely didn't care if she drowned.

"Everyone has fantasies, Dave," JJ whispered, her blue eyes meeting his with what she hoped was a neutral expression, "they don't mean anything..."

"They don't," Dave shrugged, keeping his gaze trained on her delicate face. "Not until you can't resist acting on them anymore," he remarked, his eyes glittering as his thumb moved to stroke the elegant line of her cheek, the simple movement causing a shiver to slide through both of them.

Oh Christ, she silently screamed. This wasn't supposed to be happening. Her internal organs weren't supposed to be liquefying under the intensity of his gaze. Her heart wasn't supposed to be leaping in her chest. And she sure the hell wasn't supposed to be inching her way closer to him, millimeter by millimeter.

Resist temptation, JJ, her mind ordered with the diligence of a drill sergeant. He's a confirmed player, well acquainted with the field she currently stood on. Hell, he'd helped create the game, hadn't he? But…did his lips have to look so incredibly firm and soft simultaneously? Did his eyes have to shine like that? Did his palm stroking her cheek have to feel so unbelievably good as he eased her closer to him?

"This is an incredibly stupid move," she murmured, more to herself than to him, unable to stop the words from slipping off her tongue.

"Just for a few minutes, cara, forget about your concept of good and bad and simply concentrate on the moment," Dave urged huskily, his lips grazing hers with just the right pressure.

Time froze as she felt his warm lips touch hers. And that suddenly, the moment passed as a deep voice called from below stairs, "Davey! You here? You don't need Last Rites, do you?"

Groaning loudly as JJ's eyes widened and she jerked away from him, virtually leaping across the room, Dave grimaced as he slammed his fists against the mattress. "God hates me!" he bit out, banging his head against the pillow.

"Who is that?" JJ asked breathlessly, silently screaming her thanks to whomever it was that had broken the spell David Rossi had managed to cast over her for a few stolen seconds. Honestly, she was going to light candles and sing the praises of this unknown person at her first available opportunity!

"The Devil," Dave ground out darkly as he heard heavy footsteps thudding up the stairs.

"The..." JJ trailed off as a black clad man walked into Dave's bedroom.

"There you are!" the visitor said, wagging a finger toward the man lying on the bed, "You could have answered me, you know?"

"I was busy," Dave growled as he nodded at JJ, now standing against the wall behind his uninvited guest, warily watching him and his now ex-best friend.

Turning sharply, Father Jimmy O'Rourke's eyes widened on JJ, a smile crossing his lips. "Well, hello there. I didn't know Dave already had company. You see," he said with a glare toward Rossi, his finger wagging again, "he wouldn't answer his phone and I thought the Almighty might have chosen to collect his blackened soul."

"And you were to be my Divine Intervention...I was almost to heaven, Jimmy!" Dave growled, pushing up on his elbows as he threw a particularly unrepentant glare toward his former friend.

"You were not!" JJ gasped, her eyes widening as she heard what Dave was saying to the Priest. Taking a step forward, she demanded, determined, "Take that back!"

"On the road to fiery damnation is more like it, Old Man," Jimmy retorted with a snort before turning to smile politely at JJ. "Father Jimmy O'Rourke," he introduced himself, extending his hand. "Best friend and sometime priest to the lapsed Catholic sinner on the bed," he said, jerking his head at Dave.

"Jennifer Jareau," JJ smiled in spite of her earlier anger, accepting his warm hand. "Media liaison to Dave's team and generally the woman that wants to plant a bullet in him...as you probably know, he ruined that fantasy for me today when he actually TOOK a bullet for me."

"I heard about that," Jimmy nodded genially.

"How?" Dave asked grouchily, throwing his feet over the edge of the bed as he recognized the all too real fact that his nefarious plans would need to be put on hold. Even he drew the line at seducing a woman in front of a priest...even if it was just Jimmy.

"Hotch called me," Jimmy said, turning to gaze at his friend with dancing eyes that spoke volumes that his simple words held hidden. "He seemed to think you'd want company tonight. I wonder why," he drawled, smiling knowingly.

Hotch sent me a chaperone in the form of a man of God, JJ thought happily, ready to dance a jig in thankfulness. "I'm sure you're just the ticket to cheer Dave up, Father," JJ declared cheerfully, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I was pretty enthusiastic before Jimmy showed up to rain all over my parade, babe," Dave said pointedly, leveling her with a look that spoke volumes, choosing to ignore the look of victory that filled her gorgeous face.

Looking between the two individuals, Jimmy's lips twitched. "Do I need to offer either of you the sanctity of confession, my children?"

"Of course not," JJ yelped, her cheeks flushing as she turned to stare in horror at the man of God.

"Thanks to you," Dave grumbled, "No. But thanks for that, Jimmy," he spat, crossing his arms over his chest in a manner that would have made a kindergartner proud.

"I'll just go put on some coffee," JJ said, hastily pulling an excuse from thin air to flee the room, her feet rapidly flitting across the hardwoods as she sought her escape.

Grinning as he watched the young woman fly out the door, Jimmy winked at Dave. "So," he drawled, his eyes wide with mock-innocence, "that is your sainted Jennifer Jareau."

"Jimmy, if you weren't a man of God, I'd kick your ass right now," Dave growled, wincing as he heard a door slam in the distance. "I finally had her exactly where I wanted her."

Smirking, Jimmy leaned a hip against Dave's bed. "Then I got here just in the nick of time. Hotch was alternately worried you'd corrupt that fine young woman or she'd have killed you with your own gun. Honestly, it's a toss-up what he was most convinced of."

"And on that note," Dave muttered, reaching his bedroom door and heading toward the stairs, "I hate you both."


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note: My co-author and I would like to announce that our core stories (Sunday and Monday weekly publications) will be on hiatus for the weekend after Thanksgiving (an American Holiday on November 25, 2010). Due to familial obligations, we do believe there will be a week break on those ongoing stories. We will continue to publish one-shots and shorter stories through the holiday week.**

**Also, we're drawing near the close of our first annual Criminal Minds Profiler's Choice Awards. WE CURRENTLY HAVE ****SIX**** DAYS LEFT TO VOTE FOR OUR FAVORITE AUTHORS AND STORIES. Please remember to try and spare a few moments over the upcoming days and ****VOTE**** for your favorite authors and stories in the "Profiler's Choice Awards" at "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. You have through the end of November 30, 2010 to let your voice and vote be heard, and we want to hear from each one of you. If you don't know much about forums, links can be found through either my profile (ilovetvalot) or my awesome co-author (tonnie2001969). Remember, anyone that wants to help advertise the awards has our unending gratitude, and there is also a short blurb you can use on our profile pages.**

**Want to win some free Christmas cash? We're giving away a $5 Amazon gift card to the 200th voter in the Profiler's Choice Criminal Minds ****Fanfic. net**** Awards (funded by the moderators). We have well over one hundred voters already, so who knows...you could be the 200th and win the awesome Amazon card!**

**Also...since we deeply appreciate everyone who has voted and will vote...we are also giving away another $5 gift card to a lucky voter that we will draw randomly. This could be voter number one..seventy-four...or three hundred! Both gift cards will be sent by email, so you don't have to share any personal information to claim your prize! We will notify the winners by PM when the awards are complete.**

**We also want to take a moment and remind all those participants that have signed up for the Criminal Minds Christmas Fic Gift Exchange that we have just over a month to complete our gifts and publish them for our recipients. If anyone has any questions, please contact us via private message.**

**We also have a new interview with fellow author, Laurella. Please check it out.**

**And finally, we'd like to take this opportunity to thank everyone for their continued support of our stories. We truly appreciate each review, favorite, alert and private message. It means a lot to us. Please let us continue to hear from each of you!**

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Thirteen**

Stomping into Rossi's brightly lit kitchen, JJ blindly reached for the coffee pot on the counter, jerking the carafe with far more force than was absolutely necessary. Slamming the glass container under the water faucet, she fought back the groan that threatened to escape her lips.

How in the world had she allowed that to almost happen? She had almost let herself fall in bed with David freaking Rossi, for Christ's sake!

There's no almost about it, her mind shot back with perfect twenty-twenty recall. You WERE in the bed! And you DID kiss him, her nothing-if-not-logical thoughts informed her. Her stomach sunk as she dropped her chin to her chest, eyes tightly closed. She was so on the road to hell…and obviously, it was NOT paved with good intentions!

The sound of water lapping filled her ears, and she looked up suddenly as she felt the coldness flow over her hand. Jerking the overfilled carafe from beneath the flow, she drained off the excess, forcing herself to move again and fill the reservoir before slamming the glass pot back into place. Snapping open the cabinet, she smiled in grim satisfaction she spotted the coffee packets neatly in place. Trust David Rossi to have all of his supplies nearby, she thought.

But thinking of him again only seemed to light a fire once again in the pit of her stomach, her thoughts flipping rampantly as she remembered the feel of his lips against hers. Pressing her fingers to her still-sensitive lips, she tried to remember if she had ever felt that way before from a man's kiss. And try a she might, she couldn't….no other man had ever made her feel that way.

And that thought only solidified her reserves. If she was going to survive this weekend, then she definitely had to keep her distance from THAT man and his all-too-volatile body parts!

Her earlier plan be damned! The Ice Queen she would be. At least, she hoped she could still pull off that routine. Maybe he'd be turned off by her hot and cold routine. Didn't that piss most men off?

He's not "most" men, JJ, her mind chided. He's David goddamn Rossi. Player extraordinaire. And you almost fell for the act, the same as countless women before you. You let his innate charm cloud good judgment and reason. Dummy!

But not again, she firmly resolved, gripping the edge of the counter. Now that she'd come within spitting distance of falling in his trap, she wouldn't get close enough to trip again. Thank God for Father Jimmy. If his sudden appearance wasn't a sign from God, she didn't know what was.

But if that was the case, why in the hell do you have this niggling disappointment tugging at your soul?

Because you're a moron! And you're allowing that dark haired Casanova to get to you!

Jumping as she heard a noise behind her, JJ turned sharply, her hand going automatically to where her weapon usually rested against her hip.

"I'd say, "Don't shoot!" but thanks be to God, you aren't wearing your gun," Father Jimmy grinned from the doorway, his crinkled eyes sagely examining the woman in front of him.

Oh, Lord...now she was trying to kill the priestly pal, JJ thought with a grimace. David Rossi was truly a terrible influence on her normally well ordered life. "I'm so sorry," JJ smiled tightly, "You startled me, Father."

"More than once this evening, I gather," Jimmy winked at her, his eyes dancing as he spoke.

Great, JJ silently groaned. Now the holy Father was calling her out. "I...uhmmm...," JJ choked, her cheeks blushing furiously, "It was all his fault," JJ said weakly, gesturing toward the door behind him feebly.

"It usually is," Jimmy stated matter-of-factly with a sympathetic nod. "I can't tell you how many times I heard the young ladies mention his name in the sanctity of confession back in the day," he commiserated, perching a hip against the kitchen island as he spoke. "Believe me, my child, he kept the Lord in Hail Marys...but, thankfully, he's slowed down dramatically in the last fifteen years or so. I rarely hear his name these days," Jimmy offered, making the sign of the cross.

"Is that so?" JJ asked faintly, not quite sure if she was being teased by this man of God.

"Oh, yes," Jimmy nodded emphatically. "In point of fact, you're the first young lady I've heard him mention since he swore off women after the last divorce. Can't really blame him. The third wife was Satan incarnate if you ask me...and I think the opinion of a priest should garner quite a bit of weight in that analysis," he shuddered.

"That bad?" JJ asked, turning to the side, busily continuing with her coffee preparations.

"Worse," Jimmy offered succinctly. "But, you seem nice...fornication aside, that is," he chuckled, his brow arching.

"Dave and I aren't involved," JJ said quickly, wincing as she realized how it must have looked upstairs to the man of God if she and Rossi weren't involved. "I mean," she blurted, her fingers dropping a spoon with a clatter, "we're colleagues...friends of a sort..."

"Ah," Father Jimmy nodded, grinning, "the definition of a "friend" must have changed a bit since I put on the collar," he said, tugging at the white strip around his neck.

"That was a mistake," JJ blurted, shaking her head emphatically as she pressed her lips tightly together.

"Mmm," Jimmy hummed noncommittally.

"I mean, he'd like to be more," JJ floundered.

"I noticed," Jimmy averred, his eyes drifting to the ceiling.

"He's a bad risk," she replied determinidedly, feeling then need to justify herself.

"He is," Jimmy concurred.

"And his track record is lousy," JJ added, tapping her fingers against the counter.

"It is," the kindly priest nodded.

"He's arrogant and crass...and a bully most of the time," she rambled, building steam.

Jimmy nodded. "I agree."

Frowning, JJ looked at the man across the island. "Are you sure you two are friends?" she snorted, narrowing her eyes in question..

Shrugging, Jimmy nodded. "But I believe in telling the truth...the job kind of requires it," he said, tugging his collar again. "However, he does have his good qualities."

"Such as?" JJ muttered, pulling down three coffee mugs.

"He's loyal to those he counts among his friends. He's dedicated his life to catching a lot worse sinners than he is. He takes care of those he loves...or has loved. Ask any of the exes about that one," he directed her with a steady look. "He doesn't lie, cheat or steal what doesn't belong to him. And he has, I'm told, exceptional hygiene."

Lips twitching, JJ raised an eyebrow. "Confession again?"

"I can neither confirm nor deny where that last bit came from," Jimmy said, straight faced, although the slight wink gave him away.

"So, in short, you think I'm giving him a raw deal?" JJ asked meaningfully, lining up the mugs beside the coffee pot.

"I think, my child, that you might be just what the Almighty ordered for our David," Jimmy answered truthfully.

Damn, JJ thought with a sigh, she'd been afraid of that!


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note: **

**Thank you to every single person that took their time to vote in the Profiler's Choice Criminal Minds Awards. We are busily tabulating your votes and will announce the winners very shortly, as well as who won those coveted gift cards. We had several tight races and are proud to tell you that your response was overwhelming - over 170 voters! Again, congratulations to all our nominees!**

**In other news, December 25th is right around the corner. Everyone that signed up for the CM Christmas Fic Exchange, please remember your stories. We want this to be a WONDERFUL gift experience for all involved. If you have any questions, feel free to pm either myself (ilovetvalot) or tonnie2001969.**

**Finally, if any of you have any idea for issues/activities that you'd like to see "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum tackle in the form of discussion threads and/or challenges, please let us know. We want to bring you all some really fun threads in the New Year!**

**As always, thank you to every reader, reviewer, favoriter, and alerter that enjoys our stories. Hearing from each of you means a great deal. **

**Happy Holidays!**

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Fourteen**

Halting just outside the open doorway to his kitchen, David Rossi quietly leaned his head against the doorframe as he heard voices coming from his kitchen. Now this was more like it! If he played his cards just right, he had a feeling that he might just find out all the information he needed without having to lift a single hand.

Eavesdropping had its purposes, and by damn, he was going to use every gun in his arsenal if it meant that he could find out what was going on in Jennifer Jareau's closed mind.

Besides, he told himself with a congratulatory pat on the back, who better to send in for this undercover mission than the man of God? Jimmy's collar was obviously coming in handy, if JJ's sudden burst of conversation was any indication. God Himself had obviously blessed Father James with the kind of face that encouraged people to open up to him, and as far as Rossi was concerned, the man in black owed him for ruining the earlier moment.

Jimmy might have made a vow of chastity. Dave, however, intended to use all of his working parts right up until he hit that great mattress up in the sky, thank you very much.

Listening to JJ's recitation of his less-than-finer points, Dave grinned as he nodded along. Why deny what's true, he told himself sagely. Besides, some of those very traits are what got her to his house, so in his mind, they were equal opportunity characteristics.

Leaning forward slightly, he heard Jimmy start to speak again. That's it, m'boy, he thought happily to himself as he stepped forward. Make her see the light.

And now, he thought, it was time for his grand entrance. Rubbing his hands together, he stepped lightly into the brightly lit kitchen, grinning as he inhaled deeply. "Coffee ready yet?" he asked innocently, his expression as angelic as he could create.

Rolling his eyes as he turned toward his friend, Father Jimmy said archly, "It's about time you chose to join us, Davey. Old age keeping you from taking the stairs two at a time anymore?"

"Kiss my ass, Jimmy," Dave growled, walking around the island to stand beside JJ and lean casually against the counter, his earlier kind thoughts toward his friend already forgotten.

Slapping Dave's arm sharply, JJ felt a gleeful thrill as she watched him cringe. "Rossi, that's a PRIEST you're cursing," she hissed, narrowing her eyes as she stared at the obviously unrepentant man beside her.

"Not MY priest, Jen," Dave shook his head, stepping away from her when she would have taken another swing. "If I'm gonna confess my sins, it's not gonna be to a man of God that considers it okay to heckle me!"

"I only did that the one time, Davey," Jimmy replied as he rolled his eyes. "And that was twenty years ago. I think the Lord's still in the mood to listen if you're talking."

Lips twitching as she listened to the two old friends good natured ribbing, JJ sighed, pouring three cups of coffee. "I'd ask, but I'm afraid you'd tell me," she muttered, clenching her fingers around the mug closest to her.

"Let's just say it involved a goat, a teddy and a very drunk night in Vegas, and leave it at that," Dave grinned, winking at her as she carried her coffee mug to the kitchen table.

"I repeat, I don't want to know," JJ said, stressing each word as she choked on the laugh threatening to erupt in spite of her attempts to not encourage him.

"You forgot about the midget stripper," Jimmy said, speaking out the side of his mouth as he reached for his own mug and followed JJ to the table.

"Oh, merciful God," JJ groaned, burying her face in her hand.

"He is indeed," Jimmy agreed with a solemn nod, "Otherwise, Davey here," he said, jerking his head toward Rossi, "would be roasting over the pits of a fiery hell."

"Exactly why are you here again?" Dave complained, taking the seat between Jimmy and JJ and the table. "Don't you have souls to save or something?"

"I believe he just answered his own question, don't you?" Jimmy mock whispered to JJ. "Are we sure he didn't land on his head when he took that bullet?"

"Wouldn't have mattered," JJ shrugged, sipping her coffee. "You can't dent a skull that hard," she said, shooting Rossi a disgusted look.

"Have I mentioned how much I can feel the love emanating in this room?" Dave sighed, looking from his best friend to the woman he wanted to be the best kind of friend with.

"So, JJ, tell me a little about yourself. I know all Davey's secrets here, at least most of the good ones...what say you and I exact a little trade?" Jimmy said as he winked at her.

Eyes widening, Dave shook his head as he leaned forward to glare at his so-called friend. "Whoa! I'm not sure about that..."

Raising one eyebrow as she eyed Dave, JJ smiled sweetly. "And here I was under the misassumption that you wanted to know me better, Dave. I'd say a little quid pro quo is in order, wouldn't you. And Father Jimmy here can be counted on to tell the truth, can't you, Father?" JJ asked, her eyes never leaving Dave's.

"I am a man of God," Jimmy grinned as he pressed his hand to his chest, his white skin bright against his black shirt.

Snorting, Dave glared at his oldest friend. "For how much longer remains to be seen."

"I have no intention of departing the Church," Jimmy retorted, flicking his finger against his white collar.

"Yeah," Dave agreed, "But if I were you, I'd worry more about your unintentional departure from this earth. I'm assuming you've made your peace with God already."

"Oh, the Big Man and I are on excellent terms, Sinner. You?" Jimmy asked archly.

Watching the volley continue between the two men, JJ couldn't help smiling. Now, this Dave...this Dave she liked. When the arrogance he wore like a cape fell away and she could read the emotions in his eyes, this Dave she could very easily...oh crap...stop it, JJ! You are NOT going to moon after the BAU's answer to Hugh Hefner.

"JJ?" Jimmy called, laughter coloring his voice as he grinned toward the obviously daydreaming woman.

"Jen," Dave said, tapping her arm.

"What?" JJ asked, startling as she found herself facing two sets of curious eyes.

"You were having some deep thoughts there...you missed me damn your nemesis' soul to Hades," Jimmy chastised lightly as he took another sip of his coffee.

Smiling stiffly, JJ swallowed. "Sorry I missed that. I need to make a couple of phone calls," she said quickly, needing to escape for a few moments and screw her head back on straight. "I'll leave you fellas to it for a few minutes," she smiled, rising and hurrying from the room as if the Devil himself was in pursuit.

Which he was…metaphorically speaking.


	15. Chapter 15

_**Author's Note: Hold on folks, this is a long note today! First, Tonnie and I would like to announce that signups for Chit Chat on Author's Corner's January Challenge-The Happy New Year's Challenge are open thru December 30, 2010. Simply swing by the forum (you can link to it thru our profile pages) and sign up with the pairing you'd like to see written and three prompts associated with the holiday. On Jan 1, 2011, you'll be assigned a random pairing (not the one you usually write) and three prompts to write by January 30.**_

_**Second, I have a question for my readers. I truly enjoyed last night's CM episode, "What Happens at Home" and the introduction of the character Agent Ashley Seaver. I intend to do some stories with her character incorporated into a pairing and I'd like to know who you guys would like to see me pair her with. I know the obvious choice is Reid, but what about Hotch or Rossi. Anybody that knows my work knows I'm a sucker for older man/younger woman pairings. So, shoot me a pm or review and let me know what you think. I think the world of you guys and value your opinions!**_

_**Just a reminder, December 25th is right around the corner. WE HAVE JUST OVER ONE WEEK LEFT! Everyone that signed up for the CM Christmas Fic Exchange, please remember your stories. We want this to be a WONDERFUL gift experience for all involved. If you have any questions, feel free to pm either myself (ilovetvalot) or tonnie2001969.**_

_**In other forum news, please check out our newest discussion thread, "Serious vs. Light - Which gets the most response?" It is a discussion of serious vs. light stories and the response they get from readers. We also have new interviews with Clarebones and musicxlife4 up for your reading pleasure.**_

_**Also please check out the discussion thread entitled, "The Fine Line Between T and M ratings". There's a great ongoing discussion there, too.**_

_**Finally, if any of you have any idea for issues/activities that you'd like to see "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum tackle in the form of discussion threads and/or challenges, please let us know. We want to bring you all some really fun threads in the New Year!**_

_**As always, thank you to every reader, reviewer, and person that favorites or alerts one of our stories. Hearing from each of you means a great deal to each of us. We truly value your thoughts and opinions. Now, on with our story!**_

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Fifteen**

An hour later, Dave smiled faintly as he found her curled on the couch of his library, her bare toes wriggling as she stared down at a book in her lap. "Thought you were just gonna make a phone call," he teased from his position leaned against the doorway. "Instead you found a way to throw my ass under the Catholic freight train."

Glancing toward the door, JJ raised an eyebrow as she pressed her fingers against the solid pages of the novel. "I thought perhaps Father Jimmy would appreciate a few uninterrupted minutes to save your everlasting Christian soul."

Smirking as he slid a hand in his jeans' pocket, Dave winked. "Better priests than he have tried and perished, but he always did like a challenge."

"He says you aren't nearly as bad as your reputation purports you to be," JJ snorted, flipping a heavy page in the book in her lap.

"You seem disappointed," Dave chuckled, moving inside the room slowly, his footsteps sinking into the plush carpet as he neared the sofa.

"Not exactly." JJ shook her head, chancing another look at him as she watched him move closer. "More like confused. He thinks that I'm perhaps giving you an unfair opportunity to show me that you've changed. Did you put him up to that? Plan it?" she asked, narrowing her eyes on him as he sat down beside her on the sofa.

"Nope," Dave replied with a negative shake of his head.

JJ sniffed, flipping another page. "Then either he's supremely optimistic or extremely loyal."

"Both those analyses are true," Dave nodded, draping an arm over the back of the couch as he studied her profile. "We've been friends a long time. He wouldn't mind seeing me happy. But he wasn't lying to you. Priests sort of take a vow against that kind of thing."

"I didn't say he lied. I think, however, that he might not have a problem with manipulating the truth, however," JJ said without looking up. "He certainly thinks I need to give peace...and David Rossi…a chance. He's a true champion for reformed rakes."

"So you finally at least admit that I'm reformed?" Dave smiled, his lips quirking as he watched her face flush.

"I'm at least willing to concede that it might be possible," JJ muttered, fingers flipping another page that she had not yet read. "But, I'm not your reward for that, Rossi."

"I don't see you as a prize, Jen," Dave countered softly, his fingertips lightly brushing her silky hair, careful not to touch her skin. He wasn't anxious to watch her go flying away from him again. "Just a woman that, for the first time in a long time, I'm legitimately interested in."

"Why?" JJ asked bluntly, finally closing the art book in her lap and letting the heavy tome drop to the side cushion of the sofa.

Caught off guard, Dave cocked his head. "What?" he asked.

"I want to know why you're interested in someone like me, Rossi. It isn't as though we have a lot in common," JJ countered smoothly. Maybe if she could show him this was mere infatuation, he'd back off the hunt. Before she did something she couldn't take back.

Like sleep with him.

While the long scintillating night in his arms would be incredibly satisfying, she had a feeling she'd never survive the fallout. Or the guilt of letting herself be just the latest body to warm his bed. She'd never been made for meaningless relationships….and now wasn't the time to start.

"Jen, we see the same things every day," Dave denied, focusing on her averted face, barely resisting the urge to stroke her porcelain cheek. "How can you say we don't have any common ground?"

"So we work on the same cases," JJ replied, shrugging slightly. "We have different functions. You crawl around in the psycho's mind and I show his picture to the media. Big whopping difference."

"You do a helluva lot more than that," Dave snapped, his back rising as she belittled her contribution to their cases.

"Maybe," JJ ceded with a terse nod, "but there's still a world of difference in our experience levels."

"I'm older...been doing it a hell of a lot longer; I'm supposed to have more experience in catching criminals. Conversely, I don't know shit about talking to a victim. Not well, at any rate. That's all you, babe."

Pursing her lips, JJ considered his statement. That much was true. David Rossi was hell on a person when he wanted an answer. Many times, she'd been needed to insinuate herself between him and his intended target. He possessed many skills, but coaxing details from traumatized men and women wasn't his strong suit. "Professional commonalities don't exactly mean that a relationship with you would work," she said curtly.

"You think we wouldn't suit," Dave surmised. "And if you can give me a list of reasonable explanations that I can't contradict, Jen, I'll back off. I'll be the model of a perfect patient."

"Yeah, right," JJ snorted derisively, raising her eyes to glare pointedly at his wounded shoulder..

"You won't know unless you try," Dave replied evenly as he shrugged. "It's your choice."

"Why are you so determined?" JJ asked on a groan. "There are plenty of women out there that would be thrilled to be the great David Rossi's current amore. Why does it bother you so much that this woman doesn't want that life?"

"First, I'm not interested in any other women and haven't been for quite a while. I believe that the good man of the cloth told you that," Dave said, raising an eyebrow at her. "Women full of fluff and a meaningless roll in the hay aren't quite as appealing as they once were. I guess I've grown up."

"Or gotten old," JJ said out the corner of her mouth, unwilling to miss the opportunity to goad him.

"Watch it, Bella," Dave said, tugging a strand of her hair gently. "I'm still young enough to keep up with you. Or have you already forgotten that salient fact?"

"Go on, Rossi," JJ sighed, unwillingly to let her mind travel down that road once again.

"Secondly," he continued as he smoothed her hair, "if I believed you really weren't interested in me, Jen, I'd back off. But your body tells me an altogether different story when I touch you."

"A physical response that I can't control. Now, there's a great basis for starting a relationship," JJ grunted.

"Or maybe your body is telling your mind something it just doesn't want to recognize," Dave smiled. "The better question is why you don't want to give me time to find out that answer. My suspicion is that you already know."


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's Note:**_** "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum would like to announce that we have opened signups for our first annual "Valentine's Fic Gift Exchange". Signups are thru January 31st and assignments will be made on February 1st for this one. Simply name the pairings you are willing to write, the pairing you would like to receive as a gift, one famous love song and three Valentine's Day prompts.**_

_**Finally, new Fortune Cookie prompts are available at the forum for those of us that need a kick start to our writing muses.**_

_**As ever, thank you for reading, reviewing, favoriting and alerting our stories. We truly appreciate each one of you. And because I haven't said it in a while, we (neither ilovetvalot or tonnie2001969) own Criminal Minds (though we really wish we did).**_

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Sixteen**

Rolling her eyes as she pursed her lips, JJ huffed as she muttered, "Suspicions are not fact, Rossi. I'd think after a kazillion years in the profiling field, you'd be aware of that by now."

"Oh, I'm aware of many things, Jen," Dave replied evenly, sinking his fingers in the silky tresses that had been tempting him for months. It didn't take a profiler to recognize that, in spite of her vocal protests, she wasn't pulling away from his touch. And for that miracle, he was more than willing to bear the small amount of pain currently settling in his shoulder joint. "But I wonder if you are."

Ramming her elbow not-so-gently into his ribs, JJ felt a satisfied grin crossing her lips as she heard his grunt. Arching a brow as she turned to look at him, she retorted, "I've been around the block a few times, Dave. And I've learned what happens in the blind alleys when you think no one knows. You can bet that considerable fortune that we all know you have that I'm not about to take the journey with a known Lothario." Studiously ignoring the feel of his fingers against her neck, she then added, tone firm, "Reformed or otherwise."

"I seem to recall you singing a different tune just an hour ago, babe," Dave chuckled as he slid his fingers lower, his thumb skimming against her shoulder blade as he slipped beneath the collar of her shirt. "There's no reason why we can't pick up where we were so rudely interrupted."

Rolling her eyes as she attempted to ignore the goose bumps that were attacking her exposed skin, JJ snorted. "What is it you think you can offer me, Dave? I think I've already proven that I'm unimpressed by your possessions," she said, gesturing around the expensive furnishings of his library, "or your reputation. AND you libido," she said mockingly with a pointed look at his groin.

"Now that's just a damned bald faced lie," Dave retorted, barking with laughter as her expressive face flushed.

"Is not," she insisted, pursing her lips as she narrowed her eyes in a full-fledged glare.

"Look, I'll give you the one about my possessions. The fact that my wallet and bank account is the last thing on your mind is one the things that attracts me to you in the first place. You don't give a good goddamn how big my bank account is, and I know it. But saying you aren't impressed by my reputation? Very untrue, Agent Jareau," he chided with a widening smile. "It may not impress you in a way that's particularly beneficial to me, but it has made a hell of an impression on you. And that remark about my libido?" he chuckled, shaking his head as his thumb swept against the pounding pulse in her neck, "Well, that's just bullshit and we both know it. But, I'm more than willing to prove you wrong," he grinned, moving closer as he lowered his head to claim her slack lips.

Realizing that he was about to make good on his threat, JJ pressed a hand to his chest, stalling his forward progression. "Just because you've proven that you can manage to make a girl get hot and bothered after a long, dry spell doesn't mean she thinks you have some kind of unique talent."

"Sweetheart, if you'll just give me sixty uninterrupted seconds with you, I'll dispel that theory once in for all," Dave replied huskily, his nose nuzzling the shell of her ear as he gently exhaled. "C'mon, JJ. What do you have to lose? One valuable minute of your life?"

Yeah, right, she thought desperately as a shiver flew down her spine. How about my sanity? My sense of self? My freaking clothing? It would be all too easy to get lost in a man like him. She'd seen it happen dozens of times. She would NOT be one of those women that allowed her universe to orbit one man - especially THIS man. Not when she knew that when reality came crashing down, it would land directly on top of her.

"You're so determined to resist," Dave sighed against her ear, nipping gently at her ear lobe as he dropped his hand further down her arm. "Wouldn't it just be easier to give me...no, make that us, a chance?"

"There is no 'us'," JJ bit out, determined to hold the line as his warm breath washed over her neck when he exhaled.

"Babe," Dave chuckled easily, "you're only making me more determined here," he warned, slipping his hand around her neck as he teased the line of her jaw with his lips. "You've got everything I want."

"Which is?" JJ yelped as he kissed her temple, her responsive body rapidly betraying her stern commands.

"Beauty...brains...and a badass attitude," he replied easily, the answer to her question as clear to him as the color of the sky.

"The attitude is going to get much, much more volatile if you and your lips don't cease and desist," JJ huffed, batting half heartedly at his chest as he seemed to overthrow her weakening defenses.

"You're threats are getting weaker, babe," Dave murmured, moving to tease the corner of her mouth with his. "Stop trying to detach," he urged, "and let yourself feel."

"That is patently bad advice," JJ replied, her voice tight as his fingers walked against the skin at the back of her neck.

"I disagree, JJ. My advice is exceptionally sound," he smiled. "I'll demonstrate," he said softly, covering her cool, pliant lips with his.

His lips were gentle as they settled over hers and for one all too short moment, she thought she could resist temptation and remain convincingly unaffected.

Then, his tongue touched hers.

Sweet God in heaven! Kissing this good ought to be a crime. One punishable by death...or decapitation of the penis, she thought with her last operating brain cell.

And then it, like its already disabled cousins, short circuited, and she fell head first into his embrace.


	17. Chapter 17

_**Author's Note: I want to thank our loyal readers that are sticking with us. I know my postings are sporadic these days and I apologize for it. I've received a couple of negative anonymous reviews over that very issue. Real life, especially mine, is complicated. Going from a loving two parent household to a single parent with a husband fighting in a dangerous war is difficult. I'm not asking for sympathy, just please be patient. I promise, I'm writing as fast as I can, but I want to bring you guys something of quality instead of garbage I wrote on the fly.**_

_**All Valentine's Gift Fic Exchange assignments were private messaged to participants today. So, if you signed up, please check your inbox. Also, we have announced the First, Second and Third place winners of the mini-awards for Challenge fics on Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum. Please check it out to congratulate our winners.**_

_**Also, we have two new open discussion threads. One is called, "Cyclones, Snowmageddon, and Egyptian Uprisings, OH MY!" Feel free to leave your best wishes for our friends in Australia and throughout the US suffering from the ravaging affects of Mother Nature. **_

_**And finally, as some of you may or may not know, there are some changes coming for our favorite show and we have opened a "Show Spoilers" thread for readers and authors to discuss their take on episodes and upcoming plotlines.**_

_**As ever, I don't own Criminal Minds.**_

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Seventeen**

Some days, a guy really couldn't catch a break. A bullet had benched his usual finesse, his best friend had sidelined his libido, and now, his boss seemed determined to ruin his one chance at convincing Jennifer Jareau that his feelings were all too real.

At least that was the conclusion he drew as he finally felt her lips part, her tongue sweetly tangling with his when his cell phone trilled loudly in the otherwise silent room. His reaction had been to deepen their kiss and drive coherent thought from the mind of the woman he held against him.

Of course, the road to hell was paved with good intentions.

And while he might have been able to momentarily distract the beautiful woman he embraced, the obnoxious sound of his former friend's second phone call was enough to pierce the sensual haze he'd managed to shroud them in.

"Dave," JJ sighed against his soft lips as the phone rang. "Phone."

"Ignore it," he ordered, drawing her closer as another loud ring echoed.

"We can't," she moaned as his lips moved from her lips to her neck, painting an erotic trail against the sensitive slope.

"Can, too. It's just Aaron," Dave muttered, savoring the taste of her skin against his tongue. So sweet...strawberries and cream and a flavor that was strictly JJ-patented. "It's his ringtone," he breathed, inhaling her unique scent deeply.

Aaron! Hotch! _That's your freaking Unit Chief_, her mind screamed as her body froze. Cheeks flushing, she prayed those rumors about Aaron Hotchner and his penchant for ESP were just that. Or, perhaps, she should thank her lucky stars, she thought as she shoved against the solid wall of Dave's chest, pushing him backward and bolting from the couch.

"Answer the phone, Rossi," JJ ordered, slightly out of breath as she stared into his disgruntled eyes. "Now," she added insistently, pointing at the phone just as it lapsed into silence again.

Raising an eyebrow, Dave opened his mouth just as the phone rang again. "Damn it," Dave blustered, glaring at the offending instrument of his destruction. Snatching it off the coffee table, he growled, "You'd so better be calling to tell me that you're in traction...or the world is ending," Dave barked by way of greeting. Looking up, he watched as JJ flounced out of the room with a roll of her eyes.

"Pardon?" Hotch asked dryly, pressing the phone to his ear as he smiled down at the crayon streaked page his son shoved underneath his nose and nodded approvingly.

"Are you trying to ruin my life, Aaron? I mean, I respect your right to do your best impression of an asexual organism, but damn it, I don't particularly enjoy this dry spell I've been living through."

"Do I want to know what my phone call interrupted, Rossi?" Hotch queried hesitantly, closing his eyes and rubbing his thumb and forefinger tiredly against them as he sent a prayer heavenward that JJ didn't succumb to temptation and do what their shooter unsub hadn't managed earlier in the day. At the moment, he could very well understand her temptation.

"If you need a blow by blow, Aaron, you've been way too long without," Dave smirked, settling back on the sofa as he heard dishes rattling in the kitchen. It seemed JJ had embarked on a one woman crusade to destroy the supposedly warmest room in the house. He supposed he could always afford to have it redecorated at a later date.

"Dave," Hotch warned sternly, "JJ is there because you got shot this morning. Why the hell I let you convince me that she'd make the ideal nurse, I don't know. But if anything happens out there..."

"Oh, something's gonna happen, Aaron," Dave grinned confidently. "When is entirely up to her, but I'm not giving up."

"Why is it that you always have to choose inappropriate women?" Hotch complained, rolling his eyes toward the ceiling. "You realize that you're risking the integrity of our team if this all heads south, don't you?"

"Trust me, all points are pointing north here, Aaron," Dave chuckled, pulling at his uncomfortably tight jeans, the effects of JJ's touch still very much in attendance.

"Please, spare me the details, Rossi," Hotch growled, lowering his voice as Jack looked toward him. "Believe me when I say, I don't want to know."

"Buzzkill," Dave scoffed, rolling his shoulder experimentally and hissing slightly as his body protested the movement.

"What was that?" Hotch asked sharply, hearing the wince of pain through the phone.

"Just moved wrong," Dave grumbled, glaring down at his injured limb. "Damn bullet got me right in all the wrong places. My shoulder's not real appreciative, you know."

"You're lucky that's all it hit. JJ's aim is much more accurate, Dave," Hotch pointed out with no small measure of glee. "Remember, she's not there to fulfill your fantasy of naughty nympho nurse."

"But, I'm hurt," Dave whined, leaning back against the cushions.

"As you pointed out this morning, it's just your arm."

"Believe me, Hotch, my current discomfort is located about two and a half feet south," Dave grunted. "My balls have turned a stunning shade of blue and I was a breath away from having that predicament taken care of."

"Somehow, I doubt that," Hotch countered wryly. "Should I remind you of the rules regarding fraternization?"

"Look, if it means keeping JJ in my bed, you can have my retirement papers as soon as I seal that particular deal," Dave returned evenly, completely unaware of the new audience he had for his most recent declaration.

"I'm sorry," JJ sputtered from the doorway, nearly dropping the mug of coffee she held in her hand as his words reached her keen ears, "What the hell did you just tell our Unit Chief?" Surely she'd misunderstood...misheard. He couldn't have just offered to retire from the Bureau for a second time and referred to her as a business deal in the same sentence, could he? Not even the legendary David Rossi had balls that big, right? But, if the guilty flush creeping over his cheeks was any indication, then, yes, his cajones really were mucho grande. It was such a pity he'd be losing them soon.

"Hotch," Dave said weakly, his eyes watching her warily as her face tightened, "I gotta go now. I think I might be ready to meet God personally."


	18. Chapter 18

_**Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who has been patiently waiting for our stories to be posted. We appreciate your support and apologize for any delays. Real life, however, has taken precedence! We always want to be able to provide you with quality stories and chapters, so our postings may be a bit sporadic over the next month.**_

_**Please check out our most recent challenge on our forum – March Madness! The guidelines are simple: You suggest a pairing and choose a TV title from the list provided (shows are from the 70s, 80s, and 90s). We'll assign out the pairings & suggestions by March 4, and you have until March 31 to create just the perfect story based on the prompts you receive. Your final story does NOT have to be about the TV show prompt, but you do have to use the TV show title in the story somehow. Check out our forum, Chit Chat on Author's Corner, for details and to sign up…you can find a link on our profile pages.**_

_**As always, we do not own Criminal Minds or any of the characters that we so enjoy writing. If we did own them, we would have never had JJ leave!**_

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Eighteen**

"I seriously doubt it's the Almighty that will be there to greet you when you pass into the Great Beyond," JJ snorted as Dave hung up the phone. Watching him closely, JJ narrowed her eyes. "Tell me that I just didn't hear what I know I heard," she demanded, dropping the mugs of coffee on the table in front of him with a loud clatter.

"I'm not sure what you think you heard, so I can neither confirm nor deny anything," Dave said vaguely. Hell, he still had the right to remain silent in his own house, didn't he?

"Don't you dare play dumb," JJ snapped, glaring at his cell phone as she barely resisted the urge to slap his darkened head. "I know what I heard!"

"Then why are you asking me inane questions?" Dave asked reasonably. Damn, but he loved that flush that rose against her cheeks when she was agitated. And how the tip of her nose just seemed to glow when she was well and truly pissed...like, well, now.

Adorable.

"You look like Rudolph when you get mad," he chuckled, immediately regretting verbalizing the thought as soon as it left his lips.

Eyes flashing, JJ glared as she reached for a nearby pillow. "Pardon me?" she bit out, wondering if actual steam could be rising from her ears. Her skin certainly felt like it was aflame.

"Well, you do," he said, unable to resist smiling. "It's cute," he winked.

"First, stop trying to distract me by comparing me to a reindeer," JJ ordered, pacing the length of the sofa and banging the pillow against her legs. "And second, why the hell would you say something like that? Especially to Hotch. And, BY THE WAY," she shouted as she threw the pillow with amazing accuracy, her next statement almost an afterthought, "You were NOT about to have color injected to your indigo balls, Rossi. Not by a long shot."

"Ouch," Dave winced, half from her words and half from the pillow bouncing against his nose. "I thought you and I were making a quite natural progression before we were so rudely interrupted. In fact, if you'll give me three minutes of your undivided attention..."

"My attention span is now non-existent," JJ muttered, the tensions in her spine tightening as she glanced at his smug, satisfied face.

"I've got the cure for that," Dave wriggled his eyebrows.

"Rossi," JJ barked, "Focus!"

"I am," Dave stated calmly. "On you."

She knew fifty ways to kill him and make it look like an accident, she reminded herself grimly. It would just be a matter of paperwork. "Stop avoiding my question. Why in the world would you say something like that to Hotch? Are you trying to give him the wrong impression? Or are you just trying to make me look bad?"

"What?" Dave asked blankly. "I'm not trying to mislead anyone, including you. And what the hell did I say that cast you in a bad light?" he asked defensively.

Hands balling into fists at her side, she turned to face him angrily. "Are you being deliberately obtuse or are you really that dense? You made it sound like...like..."

"Like if I could get you to sit still and listen to me, to give me a chance...that I'd be willing to make any sacrifice? Did I make it sound as if you're important to me? That if you'd give me one chance, everything else would pale in comparison?" Dave queried, his eyes darkening as they watched her stiffen in front of him.

"Yes!" JJ exploded. "We both know that none of that is true. You do what suits you, Rossi. And you do it with whoever you want, however you want. Last I checked, you don't put anyone or their needs above what you want."

"If you recall, I put myself between you and a damned bullet just this morning," Dave retorted, eyes flashing.

"That's different," JJ snorted. "I didn't say you wouldn't protect other people...I just stated that you've got an ulterior motive for anything you do."

"So, by your theory, if I hadn't been interested in you, I would have let you take the damn bullet," Dave shrugged, his eyes narrowing.

"Well, no! But..."

"Jen," Dave said evenly, "Sit down. We need to talk," he ordered, nodding at the chair.

"Talk? Just talk?" JJ queried, looking at him suspiciously. She was becoming quite well versed in all his tactics, and so far, talk had not been the highest on his list. And she refused to be held under the spell of this Conniving Casanova for one more moment.

"Well, I prefer action, but until I talk, I'm fairly certain you aren't gonna be real amenable to anything else," Dave chuckled, leaning forward to brace his elbows on his knees. "Just sit, Jen," he said, gesturing at the armchair to his right.

Pressing her lips together, JJ fought the groan rising in her throat. How the hell had she gotten herself into this? It was true, she'd felt the attraction simmering between herself and this man for months. But she'd done the right thing...the professional thing...the SANE thing and studiously ignored it. And she'd thought she'd done such a convincing job. For God's sake, she practically dripped disdain every time she was forced into his presence, hadn't she?

But the son of a bitch had seen right through her carefully crafted act. Or maybe he simply hadn't cared...rumor had it that he loved a challenge and if she was honest, she'd provided him one in spades. There'd actually been times when she'd almost enjoyed their convoluted game of cat and mouse.

But not anymore. Now the game had become entirely too real. And she was competing against a master player. She wasn't equipped to take him on... and the farm girl that still lived inside her knew it. She was outclassed.

But, God, what would conceding defeat mean?

A short term affair with a notorious Lothario? A temporarily satisfying interlude gracing David Rossi's bed and arm. ? The only assurance she could be guaranteed was a broken heart, wasn't it?

Watching as the wheels seemed to turn inside her mind, Dave murmured, "Jen, just sit down. Please?"

Jerking her gaze back to him, JJ moved reluctantly toward the chair. "How much did that word cost you?" she snorted, reverting to sarcasm.

"Not as much as this conversation will," he muttered, cheeks flushing. "But there are some things you need to here before you finish painting this unfair picture you've created of me."


	19. Chapter 19

_**Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who has been patiently waiting for our stories to be posted. We appreciate your support and apologize for any delays. Real life, however, has taken precedence! We always want to be able to provide you with quality stories and chapters, so our postings may be a bit sporadic over the next month.**_

_**Please...check out our new forum topic: A Fanfic Glossary! We want to know if you guys find it helpful and our topic thread "Our Stance on the 2010 Criminal Minds Fanfic Awards". We have also opened a Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior thread where you may discuss the show (respectfully, of course). We also have a forum announcing our fellow author's (Kathi1C) new IheartCriminalMinds blog. You can ask her questions and get directions on going to her site.**_

_**As always, we do not own Criminal Minds or any of the characters that we so enjoy writing. If we did own them, we would have never had JJ leave!**_

_**Let me know what ya'll think!**_

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Nineteen**

"I'm an asshole," Dave began solemnly, settling back against his seat as he stared at her face, her eyes averted from him.

"Tell me something I don't already know," JJ muttered, absently picking at her nails as she frowned in his direction. Geez, how the hell had she gotten herself into this predicament...trapped in a house with the one man her body wanted madly, but her brain warned her against?

She obviously needed to find a better hobby!

"Can we keep the comments to a minimum until I get through this," Dave asked with a sigh, barely resisting the urge to yell at the obvious closed heavens. This was gonna be a hell of a long conversation at the rate they were traveling. Especially if she chose to insert sarcastic barbs every time he paused to draw breath.

Her glare was his only answer.

Soldiering on, he continued, "Back in my early days at the Bureau, I was hell on wheels. I was fresh off my first divorce...her choice, not mine, by the way. She couldn't deal with the transition from military wife to Bureau wife. She was a good woman and we're still cordial, but the life I headed toward and the life she wanted weren't the same. I wanted to make a go of it and she wanted out...and, I was...for lack of a better word, bitter. During that time, the rumors are entirely true. If it wore a skirt and had a pulse, I think I tried to screw it. I honestly think I was trying to purge Mary Alice from my system." Exhaling heavily, he shook his head as he remembered those long ago dark moments. "It didn't work."

"Thus, the beginning of the anti-fraternization rules, I'm assuming," JJ said with pursed lips, censure in her tone.

"That can't all be heaped on my head," Dave huffed. "One man can't be responsible for a change in Bureau policy alone. There was a lot of fast and loose back in those days. I'm not trying to justify my choices. I made a lot of shitty ones. But, then, I wasn't the only one...and I never fucked around with anybody that wasn't willing and single."

"How noble," JJ ground out snidely, tapping her foot against the wooden floor.

"You gonna let me get through this, Jareau, or do I need to find a gag?" Dave growled.

"Why don't you try that and see how it goes for you," JJ smiled sweetly as she turned her head and narrowed flashing eyes at him.

"Jen, please," Dave said gently. "You've got to hear my side of everything. How the hell can you make an informed decision about me without one?"

Shit, JJ thought grimly. The son of a bitch had a point. "Go ahead," she said grudgingly.

"The point is, I was an asshole. I used women. Then I retired from the Bureau and met Grace. She was a good woman and I never strayed. Not once. Not on either wife. When I was married, I was faithful. But, Grace didn't want kids. I did. That led to a lot of heated arguments...a lot of words neither of us could ever take back. And ultimately, we split."

"I see," JJ murmured, astounded to hear that the great David Rossi, who'd always seemed so happily childless, had wanted to breed. Wonders never ceased.

Clearing his throat, Dave continued, sighing heavily, "At any rate, that was divorce number two. Four months later a whirlwind book signing in Vegas led me to wife three. My editor thought it would be a great idea to throw a wild bash celebrating my book making the top ten list. He chose Vegas, and I still blame him 'cause that's where I met Vanessa. She was a showgirl. I was drunk. Twenty four hours later, I was married. And I spent the next two years trying desperately to get unmarried."

"Idiot," JJ grumbled.

"I can't dispute that...at least not in that instance," Dave agreed reluctantly. "Which brings us to now. I've been single for over six years. After Vanessa," he paused, holding up three fingers, "otherwise known as the feminine version of Satan, I swore off women. I've been as chaste as a monk, Jen. I put on blinders and refused to look at the opposite sex. Until you."

"Until me?" JJ echoed disbelievingly, rolling her eyes as she let out a very unladylike snort. "And what, may I ask, was so special about me, Rossi?"

"Oh, that's a long list, Babe," Dave said, his eyes gleaming as they raked over her.

Suppressing a shiver of lust, JJ shook her head. "You're gonna have to do a hell of a lot better than that if you want this conversation to continue in a positive direction."

"Well," Dave drawled with a crooked grin, gesturing at her, "there's the obvious, I suppose."

Arching one eyebrow, JJ repeated, her tone dangerous, "The obvious?"

"Oh, come on, Cara. We both know your body is sex on a stick," Dave replied honestly, not blunting his words.

"You son of a bi-"

"Hey!" he shouted above her, waving a hand in the air to forestall the obvious coming explosion, "That's not all there is, JJ! But if you wanna know what first drew my eye, it was the body. I'm trying to be honest here. I thought women valued honesty these days."

"You're behind the times, Rossi. It's sensitivity we're in the market for these days," JJ snapped irately, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Oh, babe, then you're screwed in that department with me so far," Dave shook his head sadly. "I've got the tact of a bull in the china shop."

"Again," JJ sneered, "tell me something that I hadn't already figured out on my own."

"Are you going to let me finish?" Dave asked calmly, watching her flushing cheeks and snapping eyes with delight.

"Finish? I'm still trying to decide where to land my own bullet in your body," JJ snarled, her glare telling,.

"I was interested in your body until you opened your mouth, Jen. Then, I got distracted. Sort of like now," Dave chuckled.

"Pardon?" JJ sputtered, her arms dropping to her side as she stared at him in sheer fury.

"You were this beautiful package. All ladylike and demure...and then you opened your mouth. And don't get me wrong, I have worked with plenty of smart, attractive women before, but never anyone like you. You weren't afraid to tell me to go to hell or to fuck off when I acted like a dick. You didn't put up with any of my crap. And it wasn't just me...you didn't put up with anybody's shit. I respected that. Admired it. You're a handful."

"Gee, thanks," JJ muttered, wondering if she should be grateful for his so-called compliments. "I think."


	20. Chapter 20

_**Author's Note: So, it's been a while, our friends. Sorry for the delay in posting. But, I swear, I think my co-author and I have found a way to keep writing. **__**Ton and I have devised a new strategy. With eleven ongoing epics (and two more that we had not even began to post yet), we've come up with a plan. Each month we are going to concentrate on bringing you chapters of FOUR of the eleven stories we have out there. Each month, we'll alternate. Now, that doesn't mean that you won't get the odd chapter of the other seven stories ongoing during the month if the muse cooperates, but we want to bring you well written material and we think this will help. You'll also see oneshots, challenge pieces, and post eps (especially with our Shakespeare Series) during the month, too, but we'll only concentrate on four epics during any month. Make sense? I hope so.**_

_**For the month of April, we'll be concentrating on the epics, "Southern Traditions", "The Girl Who Lived", "In Sunshine or In Shadow", and "Sweet Silver Lining".**_

_**At any rate, those of you not familiar with our work, please swing by our forum, "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" for ongoing discussion threads and challenges. We'd love to have you.**_

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Twenty**

"It was a compliment," Dave assured her, leaning back against the couch as he stretched his arm over the back. "I've never worked with a woman who could put me in my place in less than five seconds. Hell, I've never even KNOWN a woman with that skill before, Jen."

"You've obviously been associating with the wrong type of women, then, Dave," JJ retorted, reminding herself not to let her guard down just yet. "Wife number three is the perfect example."

"I think we've dwelled enough on my past, don't you?" Dave replied, arching one brow as he bit back a grin. "I'm more interested in our present and the future right now."

"I'm not sure that there is any "Our" in this equation, Dave," JJ snapped, crossing her arms over her chest as she stared down at the infuriatingly handsome man. "You've proven that your ideas and my ideas are not exactly copacetic, now are they?"

"And back to why you have kept me on the straight and narrow," Dave answered smoothly, winking at the lovely minx. "I've told you all about my past just so you'll see how knowing you, being near you, has changed me. And I'd like the chance to see how much more can be changed in our future."

"It never ceases to amaze me how easily you bandy about that word?" JJ sighed, crossing her arms over her chest.

"What word?" Dave asked innocently, honestly in a quandary.

"Future. You've tried to have one three times with three separate women. Has it occurred to you that you simply aren't cut out for relationships?"

"Hmmm," Dave hummed as he pretended to give her observations some consideration. Waving a hand in the air, he replied, "Perhaps, you make a decent point. But what's your excuse, Bella? You haven't had time to become quite so jaded without good reason. And you avoid relationships like the Black Plague. I know. I've asked around," he informed her as he shrugged easily, cocking his head as he waited for her to answer him.

"My private life is none of your business, Agent Rossi," JJ said stiffly, narrowing her eyes at him as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Maybe not, but I want to know all the same. Especially if something in your past is preventing me from having a happy future. I'd at least like to know who I can blame."

"There's no one to blame," JJ snapped, rolling her eyes. "Is it such an alien concept that a woman wouldn't want a relationship with an arrogant, egotistical, albeit rich, pig?"

"And you don't pull any punches," Dave said through his grin, wriggling his eyebrows. "Another quality I admire."

"You're impossible," JJ fumed, her nails clawing the upholstery of the chair she sat in. "Absolutely insufferable."

"Now, babe," Dave chided, wagging his finger in her direction, "Only somebody that's been married to me can actually know that."

"Don't place money on that," JJ muttered, her cheeks reddening, whether from anger or embarrassment remained uncertain.

"C'mon, JJ," Dave drawled. "Quid pro quo. I told you my dirty laundry. Share away," he invited. "What about me...or is it men in general, makes the concept of a relationship so repugnant?"

"You're putting words in my mouth," JJ retorted. "I don't have anything against relationships, per se."

"Just one with me, then?" Dave wriggled his eyebrows again as he stretched his legs out in front of him. "And I hate to refute a beautiful woman, but I've asked around, JJ. You don't even date. Not since an unfortunate blind date over a year ago with some agent down in Cyber Crimes. You fell asleep over your chicken salad. And you don't bat for the other team either...checked that, too. So what gives?"

Eyes wide, JJ's lips moved, but no words came out. "Wh-what? Did you have me investigated?"

"Didn't have to," Dave stated happily, rolling his shoulder to release a kink trying to set in. "Sometimes if you just shut up and listen when Garcia is around, you can learn all sorts of scintillating details." Clearing his throat, Dave cocked his head. "According to her, your last serious relationship was as a cadet at the Academy with a young up and comer...he went on to the White House if my intelligence is correct. What happened there?"

Paling, JJ went stock still. "Now I know Garcia wouldn't have told you that!" she hissed.

"Nope, actually that information was obtained by being in the right place at the right time. Prentiss was wanting to set you up with some idiot that sounded much to similar to your best friend's ears and Garcia was pretty vocal about it."

"I can only imagine," JJ said tightly, every nerve in her body stretched to capacity.

"Must have been a pretty crappy break-up for you to still be holding a grudge, Babe," Dave noted unjudgmentally.

"That's one way to put it," JJ ground out, stomping toward the window. "And it's not something I particularly like discussing."

"Well, since that schmuck is standing between me and what I want, I can either get the story from you or from the asshole. I'm not picky, but I guarantee I'll find out what I want to know."

"You wouldn't dare!" JJ gasped, her mouth going dry at the thought of David Rossi meeting that sub-human she'd placed so much face in once upon a time.

"That's up to you, Jen," Dave declared reasonably. "But, I'm a smart enough man to figure out that I'm paying for a few more sins than the ones that I've legitimately earned. I'd like to know why. And if talking to that ass will clarify things for me..." he trailed off meaningfully.

"Bastard," JJ breathed, knowing from experience that David Rossi never made idle threats. He'd get his answers. Easy or hard, it wouldn't matter. And he'd use any resource available to gain the knowledge he wanted.

"Mom and Dad were married, thank you very much. Now, if you called me an asshole, I couldn't find any fault with that," he replied amenably, reaching for his nearby cup of coffee.

"This is none of your business. My personal life is personal. Or don't you understand the meaning of that word?" JJ bit out angrily.

"Your personal life is having a direct impact on me, sweetheart. In my world, that means that all bets just went off the table. Look at it as my way of showing you that I'm all in."

And that was exactly what Jennifer Jareau was afraid of.


	21. Chapter 21

_**Author's Note: Hello, readers. Just a brief note for you all today. For those interested, we have a new challenge up at "Chit Chat on Author's Corner". Sign-ups for our theme song challenge run through May 14, 2011. The rules are simple. Tell us your favorite character about which to write, the character you'd like to receive a story about AND what you envision that character's theme song being. We think it'll be a lot of fun and hope to see all of you there! All our best!**_

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Twenty-One**

Mentally attempting to prepare herself for the inquisition that was sure to come, JJ drew in a deep breath, her mouth open in preparation for another volley. But her sharp-witted words died on her tongue as she saw the invincible David Rossi wince as he moved against the sofa.

Narrowing her eyes, JJ asked, shrewdly, "What's your pain level, Dave? And don't try to lie to me. I've learned all your tricks, you know."

Grinning in spite of the sharp ice pick jabbing at his shoulder, Dave replied with a wriggle of his eyebrows, "Not all of them, I hope. Otherwise, I won't have any moves left to show you when the time comes."

"Don't try to distract me, Rossi," JJ ordered, spinning on her heel and stomping toward the kitchen as she yelled over her shoulder. "Start talking. Do you need a pain pill or do I need to haul your uncooperative ass back to the hospital PDQ?"

Grabbing the pills off the counter, JJ shook her head and drew in a deep breath, steeling her reserves against what she would be Dave's laser-like focus as she rounded back into the living room. For years, she had managed to sublimate her rage against that man that had nearly decimated her entire being. Remember that you have fought to get this far, Jareau, she warned herself as she straightened her shoulders.

"You still with me, babe?" Dave asked, carefully watching as her eyes seemed to glaze over, then brighten once again.

Jerking her neck to the side, JJ pressed her lips tightly together as she met his eyes. "Trust me, Rossi, if I could be anywhere else, I would be there in a New York second." Seeing his mouth open, JJ continued quickly before he could insert what was certain to be an objection to her observation. "Knowing you, though, you've found some cockamamie way of undoing all of the hard work the doctor did on your shoulder, and we're just end up back at the hospital."

"I'm humbled by your faith in me," Dave retorted drily, well aware of her weak attempt at refocusing their discussion. Arching one brow, he added, "And by the way, distractions only work if both parties believe them. And since we're going to be here for a long while, I've got all the time in the world to wait you out."

"Pain level, David," JJ growled, shaking the bottle of pills loudly. "What. Is. It?"

"My shoulder is fine. You'd have heard me say that a second ago if you'd quit lapsing into fantasies of helping me to my untimely demise."

"Oh," JJ retorted airily, uncapping the bottle and dropping a pill into her palm, "believe me, Dave, if I wanted you dead, you would be."

"You're stalling," Dave accused with a grim smile, "And I'm not falling for it, Jen."

"I'm not doing anything," she denied, taking a step toward him and holding out her hand imperiously. "I'm bluntly telling you that I have no intention of discussing my private life with you."

"Private?" Dave snickered, arching a brow as he looked innocently at the pill. "Are you serious? I hate to tell you this, Babe, but you don't have a private life. You work. You get to the office before daylight and you stay until dark. Not a hell of a lot of time for living, JJ."

"That's my business," JJ snapped, using her free hand to grab his bottle of water off the side table. "And if that's how I choose to live my life, what concern is it of yours?"

"Because you're going to kill yourself," Dave returned, unperturbed as she pressed the plastic bottle into his hand. "And there's no way in hell I'm letting that happen. I don't know what happened to you in your past to make you simply stop trying to find the rewarding moments, but I aim to make you realize that there's more than the BAU."

"I happen to enjoy what I do," JJ growled, taking advantage of his open mouth to drop the pain pill on his tongue. "I find it fulfilling. I don't want or need anything else. Especially an arrogant son of a bitch with a God complex dogging my every move."

Swallowing in spite of his earlier denials, Dave took a quick sip of water to help ease the pill's trip down his throat. Dropping the bottle back on the table, he stared up into her tense face. "What asshole hurt you so badly that you're determined to become the reigning Ice Queen, Jen?" Dave asked softly, watching her face blanch.

The audacity of that man knew no bounds, JJ thought wildly, her eyes widening as she stared at him. He'd found that fraying nerve that she tried so vigilantly to hide and stomped all over it. And what was worse...the bastard knew he was doing it. His entire focus appeared to be in making her lose her carefully cultivated control. And he was precariously close to fulfilling his mission.

"If you have an ounce of self-preservation left within you, you'll shut up, Rossi. Now," JJ bit out through tight lips, her eyes flashing angrily in warning.

"I've hit a nerve," Dave mused aloud, cocking his head as he assessed her. "Who was he?"

"He was no one, you nosy prick," JJ hurled at him, stomping toward the far wall, turning her back to him.

"Oh, he was very definitely someone," Dave countered easily, unruffled by her burst of temper. Hell, he'd been married three times. He could handle her. Watching her pace to the picture window and stare into the distance, he offered gently, "You know, you might be able to dislodge that chip on your shoulder if you'd consider simply talking about it."

Turning sharply, JJ's gaze narrowed on the current thorn in her ass. "Even if there was something in my past to discuss, Rossi, what the hell do you think it is about you that makes you qualified to help me? By my math, you've failed at every romantic entanglement you ever attempted," she added with a self-satisfied smile. Take that, asshole, she mentally cheered herself on.

"Well, the sweet little kitten has claws," Dave murmured, trying not to wince at her well placed barb. "You've certainly got everybody fooled, don't you?"

"You started it," she muttered, averting her gaze as she felt her cheeks redden, a sudden wave of doubt roiling through her.

"At least I was brave enough to keep trying to get it right, JJ," Dave continued.

"And try, and try again," JJ quipped.

"True," Dave assented evenly, unwilling to take the bait. "But unlike you, instead of letting those experiences perverse my view on relationships, I learned something each time I fell in love."

"You don't know me nearly as well as you think you do, Dave," JJ said softly, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Then do us both a favor and teach me," Dave suggested, noting her stiffened posture.

"Fine," JJ replied finally. "Just don't ever say that you didn't ask for the lesson."


	22. Chapter 22

**Hello, friends! We've got sign-ups going on for or newest "Writers of the Silver Screen" challenge. Check it out. We think it'll be a lot of fun. We also have a mini-challenge in progress for the departing character of Ashley Seaver (no sign-up for this one. Just write a story following the guidelines and link it to the thread on "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum.**

**Oh, and we're having a lot of fun over at Facebook. To join in the conversations, simply friend "Ilovetvalot Fanfiction". That's me. I'll get you added as quickly as possible. It's just another way for we writers and readers to communicate. And I love to hear from ya'll.**

**Gotta take a second to thank all our loyal readers for sticking with us. Tonnie and I are having a blast bringing ya'll stories. We do want to let you know that our posts may be a tad bit slower over the coming weeks. Tracia's husband will soon be home from Afghanistan on mid-tour leave (Hallelujah!) and Tonnie's real life is a bouncing handful right now (also a Hallelujah, just a bit more subdued!) We appreciate your support, and we are diligently working on all of our epics and many new oneshots!**

**Now, on with the show...**

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

"I never ask for something I don't think I can handle, Jen," Dave commented softly as she turned back to stare out the window, her narrow shoulders stiff, her body virtually vibrating with tension. Hell, at least he hoped he could handle it. Her posture, however, was a clear indicator that whatever story she had to tell still had the power to hurt her.

And watching her in pain wasn't something he was prepared to tolerate for an extended period of time. People still owed him favors, after all. From the government to the Mob...

"His name was Nickolas Holston," JJ said, the name falling off her lips as though laced with poison.

Making a mental note of the name for future damages to be inflicted, Dave waited, watching as she turned to face him, her face a stone mask. "Okay," he said neutrally, inviting her to continue.

"We dated for a year and a half," she shrugged. "It went bad. End of story."

Raising an eyebrow, Dave snorted. "You were together eighteen months and one day you got up and the milk had soured? Just like that, huh?" Dave goaded doubtfully, shaking his head. "Try again, JJ."

"No," she scoffed, propping a hand on her hip. "But almost. In my story, one day, I got up and a stick turned blue. And I found out that my loving, caring, devoted partner," she bit out, sneering the words, making a mockery of them, "was a selfish, ruthless son of a bitch that was only devoted to his career. It was all about what he wanted...what he needed...what he expected. In some ways, he reminded me a lot of..."

"Careful, Jennifer," Dave warned, his dark eyes flashing as he interrupted her diatribe with those well placed words.

Pressing her lips together tightly, JJ swallowed, struggling for control. But the need to hurt him for pushing the issue clawed at him. "I told you to be ready for the truth," she snapped, her words holding less challenge that she intended.

"Then make sure it is the truth," Dave cautioned softly, "because I know for a fact I've never walked away from a child I created."

Averting her gaze guiltily, JJ nodded jerkily. "Sorry," she muttered, staring at the floor. "I just...Dave, I really don't want to discuss this. It's part of my past."

"Your past is affecting my present, JJ," Dave offered gently, refusing to allow her to waver now that they had breached the barrier. "And burying it isn't the same as dealing with it."

"Would you please quit tossing around that word!" JJ exploded. "And my past belongs to me. I can handle the things in it any way I choose."

"And ignoring it...being half alive...has that worked out well for you?" Dave asked conversationally. "Hell, the most animated I ever see you is when I piss you off, Jen. Why the hell do you think I take such joy in pushing your buttons? It's the only time you really look alive! Otherwise, you put on that damned press face and sleepwalk your way through your life."

His words were met with cold silence as she simply stood glaring at him.

"Jennifer," Dave said, his voice soft and gentle. "There's no baby. What happened?" he asked, watching as her eyes darkened in pain.

"No, there's no baby," she confirmed huskily as she turned back toward the bay window, unable to meet his probing gaze. Licking her lips as those chaotic days from long ago flittered through her mind, she shook her head. "He didn't want it," she informed him needlessly. "But, I did," she said starkly. "We fought for days over it," she whispered. "He claimed a child would derail both our careers. He was on the fast track and he didn't want anything...or one slowing him down. He demanded I have an abortion. I told him I wouldn't do it. Then I told him that I'd just move out and he forget he ever knew me...or knew about the baby."

"And he just let you walk away?" Dave asked, disgusted with this man on which he'd never laid eyes on a level so deep it nauseated him.

"Not quite," JJ said bitterly. "He argued that it wasn't that simple. That eventually word would get out that he was a deadbeat dad and ruin him anyway. I ignored him and just grabbed my purse and headed for the door. He grabbed my arm as I reached the staircase to the apartment complex. I jerked away," she explained faintly, the words fading as her mind slid back into that fateful day. "I can't even say he pushed me. I lost my footing and fell..." she whispered, a cold tear sliding down her cheek.

He wanted to put his arms around her...hold her close and make the pain stop. But, he knew from experience that action at this point in time would lead to another bullet hole in his body. Not that it was his sense of self-preservation stopping him. After all, he'd ignored that on more than one occasion during his life. Instead, it was the invisible neon sign flashing over her head that said, "Do Not Touch!" which gave him pause. Noting that she'd begun to tremble slightly, he urged, "Jen, sit down, babe."

"I lost it," JJ said hoarsely, emotion clogging her voice as she wrapped her arms around herself, digging her nails into her skin to remind her that she was in the here and now...not trapped in that nightmare of years ago. Turning, her eyes narrowed on the man currently responsible for her turmoil. "I learned that night that no matter what so-called professions of love a man made, they were just scared, spineless, weak cowards at heart. A love affair isn't worth the pain it inflicts when it ends. And nothing you've said tonight has changed my mind, Rossi. Nothing."

Lifting his chin as he met her cold stare, Dave sighed. "I'm sorry for what you endured, Jennifer. But, I didn't do it to you. How long are you going to make every man, including me, pay for some worthless piece of shit's mistakes?"

"I'm not making you pay for a damned thing," JJ spat angrily, her shoulders stiffening once again. "You wanted explanations. You got them," she informed him haughtily.

"I did," Dave agreed slowly, never once blinking. "And everything makes a hell of a lot more sense now."

"Good," JJ approved stiffly. "Now, maybe you can let this go."

"I said I understood, honey," Dave said calmly, "I didn't say it changed a damned thing," he continued, rising purposefully from his seat.


	23. Chapter 23

_**NEW**__** Author's Note: Hi, guys! We've got a few notes for you today. First up, our new challenge "The Colors of the Rainbow" Prompt Challenge is now AVAILABLE for sign-up on "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. It looks like it's going to shape up into a fun challenge. Check it out.**_

_**Tonnie and I are diligently working toward our nomination ballot on the second annual "Profilers Choice Awards" hosted by Chit Chat on Author's corner forum. Our tentative date to release the categories, informational post and NOMINATION BALLOT is 8/28/11. One week, guys. So, put on your reading hat and look for those stories and authors you adore. Any of our fellow authors, please feel free to promote the awards as well. The more the merrier and we can use all the help we can get!**_

_**Additionally, we'll have some new posts going up at the forum this week. So, skip over and take a look.**_

_**Also, we're continuing to have oodles of fun with our fellow authors and readers over on facebook. I'm getting to know a lot of wonderful people over there and we've got quite the support system going. Feel free to come join the fun. Simply "friend" Ilovetvalot Fanfiction. I'll be sure to accept.**_

_**Also, we love hearing from you. So, drop a review if you have the time. They truly make our day.**_

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

Warily watching the man that had just managed to drag out her deepest and darkest secret, JJ shook her head as she held up a hand in protest. "Don't, Dave. I can't…"

"Shh, babe," Dave murmured, painfully adjusting his shoulder as he drew to his full height, moving easily toward the wet bar in the corner of the room. Deftly popping the stopper on a crystal decanter, he splashed the amber liquor into two tumblers, well aware of her eyes glued to his every movement.

Perhaps they both needed this moment of silence to formulate the next move in this convoluted game of cat and mouse…or perhaps he was just giving her time to recover. Either way, he took his time, methodically placing the decanter back into its assigned spot before reaching for the glasses.

JJ frowned as she watched him extend a hand, a heavy glass pressed in her direction. "I don't need to lose what's left of my wits, Dave. Getting me drunk is low even for you," she hissed, narrowing her eyes.

"You're not exactly what I'd deem as a lightweight, Jen," he countered easily, wriggling the glass slightly. "I've seen you imbibe before, and I know about your wooden leg, so your secret's safe with me."

Grabbing at the glass before she had time to reconsider her actions, JJ drained the strong liquor as she let herself ponder that statement. She didn't need to read between the lines to understand that he wasn't exactly talking about her propensity to handle her alcohol but more about her recent admission. And maybe, somewhere deep inside, she knew that she could trust him…and that's why she had given him an insight into a hidden part of her life that not even Penelope Garcia had known everything about.

Sipping his own drink, Dave watched her belt the last of her scotch. "Want another?" he asked as she leaned forward to put her empty glass on the coffee table in front of her.

"No," JJ replied softly, unable to meet his eyes. "I'm fine."

"I seriously doubt that," Dave replied, his tone even although his words were clipped. "I wouldn't be fine if somebody had screwed me over like that. I'd be pissed. I might even have a chip on my shoulder as big as yours."

"There's no chip, Dave," JJ denied softly, wishing she had chosen to savor the liquor a while longer. It certainly appeared she needed it now. "I've simply chosen to remain behind a protective shield. Once bitten, twice shy, right? But," JJ snorted, her control slipping quicker than she would have liked, "I guess I shouldn't be surprised that you don't approve of my personal creed. Yours seems to be, "If at first you don't succeed, try again. And again. And, then still yet again"," she drawled, obviously mocking him.

Smiling faintly, Dave inclined his head and lifted his glass. "You have me there. But my mother always said that if you fall down, the only thing you can do is pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep walking."

"As wise as your mother sounds, Dave, I don't think she'd view my situation as a mere fall. And I don't think she'd have recommended you keep walking if you had a gaping wound in your chest," she argued, frowning at him as she leaned back in her chair.

"Ah, but you don't have a gaping wound, Bella. You have a scar. A reminder of the places you've been. Scars don't define where you're going."

"If you think I'm going to enter a philosophical debate with you regarding my personal life, you're going to wake up tomorrow with a few new scars of your own, Rossi. And maybe a gaping wound, too," JJ retorted as she smiled grimly. "I've told you all I intend to divulge. You have my explanation. Now leave it alone and move on to sweeter hunting grounds. This plot has been picked clean."

Dave took another sip from his glass as he calmly met her flashing gaze. "JJ, make all the threats that you want, but I'm not going anywhere. If anything, I'll probably be an even bigger pain in the ass now that I know that it isn't me you object to so much as men in general."

"Ha!" JJ shouted, rolling her eyes as she waved a hand in the air. "Even without my past, I'd still say you were a bad bet, Rossi," she retorted. "Your track record with the opposite sex sucks. You're everything I despise in a man. Arrogant. Overly confident. Too smart for your own good..."

"You forgot my flair for the dramatic and sense of style," he drawled ever so helpfully.

"In short," JJ said tightly, ignoring his unsolicited comments, "as a general rule, I detest you."

"Except, there's this attraction," Dave pointed out smugly. "One that you can't deny, can you?"

"I'm attracted to pecans, too. That doesn't mean I'm not allergic to them," JJ snapped, pursing her lips as she fought against the tightness in her chest. "Or that they suddenly are good for me. On the contrary, one little nibble will kill me."

"Trust me, babe. You aren't gonna die from your exposure to me," Dave laughed, dropping his own drink on the table beside him.

"No," JJ said sweetly, "you're only making me wish I was dead."

"Ouch," Dave winced dramatically, pressing a hand to his chest. "That smarted a bit, Jen."

"Please," JJ snorted, tossing her long hair. "I'm of the strong belief that you're impervious to pain, Rossi."

"That couldn't be farther from the truth, babe." Dave shook his head. "I feel pain. I just happen to look at it as a reminder that I'm still alive...that I can still feel something. You, however, are the one adept at turning off those pesky emotions. You consider them a nuisance. You avoid feeling anything because the last time you truly allowed yourself to experience something, it hurt you. I get that. I don't like it, but I do get it."

"Then why can't you just leave me alone?" JJ asked, her frustration leaking over into her voice.

"That would be the easy route to take, wouldn't it?" Dave noted conversationally, arching one brow as he watched her cheeks flush. "Just chalk it up to a loss on my part and move on, right?"

"Exactly," JJ sighed, an exhalation of relief leaving her lips. Perhaps this war wasn't as contentious as she thought it might be.

"There's just a small problem with that concept, Jen," Dave replied evenly.

"What?" JJ snapped in annoyance, her earlier thoughts giving way to dread again.

"I don't give up on the people that matter to me," Dave answered calmly. "I don't quit on them. Ever," he added, his tone filled with finality.


	24. Chapter 24

_**/***NOMINATE, NOMINATE, NOMINATE YOUR FAVORITE STORIES AND AUTHORS IN THE SECOND ANNUAL PROFILER'S CHOICE CM AWARDS HOSTED BY CHIT CHAT ON AUTHOR'S CORNER FORUM! DON'T KNOW HOW? SEE AUTHOR'S NOTE AT THE END OF THIS CHAPTER!***/**_

**BIG ANNOUNCEMENT: In an effort to encourage our fellow authors and readers to take a moment and nominate their favorite fics and authors in the Profiler's Choice CM Awards hosted by "Chit Chat on Author's Corner", we will be offering two $10.00 Amazon gift cards to two randomly selected nominators. The only rule is that you must nominate in at least TEN categories! Winners will be announced October 16! So put on those thinking caps and NOMINATE!**

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

"It's not quitting if I tell you to do it," JJ offered helpfully as she drained the rest of the liquid from her glass, wishing she'd taken him up earlier on his offer of a refill. Perhaps being numb would be better if he was going to continue talking.

Merely arching one brow, Rossi watched as she rubbed her finger around the edge of the tumbler. "Doesn't work that way, babe. You're stuck with me. Get used to it," he advised her with a smile.

"That 's not helping matters, Rossi," JJ retorted, setting her glass down on the end table. Pushing up from the overstuffed leather chair, she paced from one end of the room to the other. "It never ceases to amaze me how quickly you can reduce me to wanting to shoot you. Usually, I can ignore aggravation. Pretend the nuisance isn't there and eventually it'll get bored and go away. But, oh, no. Not you. You seem to thrive on it."

Dave captured her hand as she passed by the sofa, pulling her down beside him. "You're going to wear a path in my carpet, Jen."

"I'd be glad to leave if you're truly concerned about your rug," JJ offered sarcastically as she perched on the edge of the cushion, her body vibrating with tension.

"If you'd really been serious about leaving, you'd have done so a long time ago, babe," Rossi replied easily, tugging her closer as he ran a hand around her stiff shoulders.

"God, your ego!" JJ growled irritably. "I came here because you took a bullet meant for me. I owed you. Can you get that through your thick, primitive skull?" she asked, trying to shrug his hand off her.

"I understand you just fine, JJ," Dave replied calmly, flinching when his injured arm jerked. Hissing in a breath as the pain radiated up his shoulder, he growled, "Shit! JJ, be still."

Ceasing her struggle abruptly as she realized he was in pain, she turned in his arms, her eyes going to his bandaged arm. "I'm sorry," she whispered, gingerly touching his sling as his tightened face relaxed slightly. "Are you okay?" she asked softly, shifting worried eyes back to his face.

Swallowing as the pain ebbed, Dave nodded. "I'm fine. Sorry I snapped," he said huskily, his good arm settling heavily around her. "I just turned wrong. That's all," he assured her when he saw her cerulean eyes darken. "Really, babe," he said softly when her she grimaced, "It's fine."

"Maybe I should go, Dave," JJ said gravely. "You're supposed to be recuperating, and I'm yelling at you. I don't exactly think I'm aiding your recovery. Hotch or..."

"I want _you_, Jennifer," Dave sighed. "But I'm not going to hold you hostage. If you want to leave, go ahead."

Indecision flashed in her eyes as she felt his arm loosen around her. "I don't want to leave you here alone..."

"It's you or no one," Dave shook his head. "Frankly, I don't want anybody else seeing me weak. Might give me a bad name around the bullpen."

"Right," JJ snorted. "Like anybody's ever make the mistake of calling _you_ weak and live to tell the tale."

"Hey, I let you get away with calling me all sorts of negative things," Dave winked, grinning at her. His heart lightened as he watched her laugh.

"Yeah, but all the things _I_ say about you are entirely true," JJ asserted, relaxing despite herself. Staring at him for a long moment, she finally whispered, "I'll stay."

"Good," Dave nodded. "And will you please stop threatening to leave every time I get on your nerves?" he asked hopefully, lifting a strand of her hair from her shoulder and sliding it through his fingers.

"That depends on you," JJ returned evenly. "Will you stop pushing me?" she asked, mimicking his hopeful tone.

"I don't mean to push you, honey. But I can understand why you feel that way. I got you to talk about something you've had bottled up for years. It was painful. But, tell me the truth, Jen. Have you ever talked to _anyone_ about what happened before."

Dropping her gaze to the floor as she felt his warm fingers stroke the muscles in her neck, JJ shook her head. "I never talked to anyone about it. The only one that even knew about the baby were my doctor and...and..."

"The prize winning prick," Dave surmised for her, his agile mind already contemplating how best to land a blow that would cripple the bastard that had hurt her like this. He didn't care how many years had passed...the bastard deserved a few scars to match the woman beside him.

"That description works," JJ said with a soft snort, bobbing her head agreeably. "Actually, it's really accurate."

"I know it doesn't help anything, but I'm sorry he hurt you, babe. I'm even sorrier for what you lost," Dave said solemnly as his hand gently continued to massage her neck, his thumb gently stoking the sensitive flesh in smooth circular motions.

Swallowing painfully as the grief that she only rarely allowed herself to feel surfaced, JJ shook her head. "Until I lost the baby, I never really understood how you could miss something that you never had so much. It makes a hell of a lot more sense to me now," she said with an almost inaudible sigh as his talented fingers moved to her shoulder blade, working away the painful knots that had taken up residence there over the past few weeks.

"You wanted the child then?" Dave murmured, treading carefully lest she wall herself off from him again. The key was to keep her talking. He knew that. The challenge was to do it without her seeing it as bullying. And that...he wasn't so adept at. But for her, he'd make the effort. For her, he'd be more than willing to make all kinds of concessions.

Because somehow he knew, Jennifer Jareau was worth it.

* * *

_**Author's Note: Hello, Friends. A couple of announcements for all of you. First, this is the LAST DAY to sign up for "The Masquerade Challenge" for October's on "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. We also have a "Freaky Friday" mini-challenge in progress for those interested. Details for both can be found at the forum. We'd love to have all of you sign up. I think we'll have a lot of fun this Halloween Season.**_

_**Second, you all have a little less more than three weeks left to nominate stories for the second Annual Profiler's Choice CM Awards. The nomination ballot, rules and category summaries can be found at "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. To reach that post please either take a trip to the forum OR links are provided on the profile pages of ilovetvalot, Profiler's Choice CM Awards AND tonnie2001969. Nomination ballots should be PM'd to the Profiler's Choice CM Awards ONLY. That link is also provided on the forum or the profile pages listed above. PLEASE REMEMBER, WITHOUT NOMINATED STORIES, THERE CAN BE NO AWARDS! SO, PLEASE, COME OUT AND SUPPORT YOUR FAVORITE FANFIC AUTHORS AND NOMINATE THOSE STORIES. **_

_**ALSO, we would love for our fellow author's to assist us in advertising these awards! Please feel free to copy and paste anything in this author's note or contact us for a pre-written blurb if you like.**_

_**And, please, everyone, feel free to join us over on Facebook! Simply search for "Ilovetvalot Fanfiction" and friend me. We have scores of authors connected together and we'd love to see you there! **_

_**As ever, we appreciate every single one of you that takes the time to read and/or review our stories. Your valuable feedback is deeply appreciated and we love hearing from you!**_


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N - Hello. We have exactly twelve days left to NOMINATE your favorite authors and stories in the second annual Criminal Minds Profiler's Choice Awards hosted by "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. Random drawings for TWO $10.00 Amazon gift cards will be given to two lucky nominators. To be considered eligible, all you have to do is fill out a ballot in ten categories or more. Winners will be announced October 16, 2011! So please, take a trip to the forum and grab those ballots!**

**Also, sign-ups for the Criminal Minds Christmas Gift Fic exchange are up and running at the forum. Last year was super successful and we hope this year will be equally so. You have until October 31, 2011 to sign up at the forum. Details for both events are located there! Private message us with any questions!**

**And don't forget to friend "Ilovetvalot Fanfiction" on Facebook. We've got a huge collection of talented authors and readers alike just waiting to chat.**

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Twenty Five**

His fingers were as talented as she had known they would be, and JJ found herself relaxing even further than she truly wanted to. Letting out a deep sigh as she pondered his question, she finally whispered, "Yeah, I think I did. But I hadn't realized how much I wanted a baby until I lost it." Swallowing hard, she asked, her voice suddenly as tired as she was, "Does that even make sense?"

"Makes perfect sense to me," Dave assured her as he let his fingers continue their magical journey against her tense muscles. Her body was as taut as a drawn bow, and he had a feeling that she was mere inches from being sprung just like an arrow.

"It took me a while to realize that, you know," JJ added as she stretched out her legs, curling and uncurling her toes as she tried to find an outlet for the emotions welling up inside. "I couldn't put a name on the hole that suddenly developed inside me. And I didn't know how to find a way to ever make it whole again. "

Dave could feel her muscles start to tighten again as she shuddered, and he shifted her carefully to give him better access. Kneading his thumb and finger against a particular taut spot, he said, his voice even and low, "You don't have to find all the answers at once, babe."

"But I had to do something to move on. How could I expect anyone else to understand how I was feeling when I couldn't even put my feelings into words myself?" She closed her eyes for a moment, allowing herself to relax against him, her thoughts running rampant. As much as she had tried to bury the past, to forget about what she had never wanted to remember again, she found herself face to face with the very thing that had caused her so much pain. And time had not dulled the hurt at all. As a matter of fact, she was beginning to believe that the pain might be even greater the second time around.

"So," Dave said softly, filling in a few blanks for himself as she unconsciously leaned into his touch, "you invested everything you had into the job."

"I was good at it." JJ shrugged stiffly, gasping a little as his thumbs rotated around her shoulder blades, relieving the pressure that had built up underneath her skin. "And the harder I worked, the less time I had to think about what I'd lost. It became second nature. "

Nodding slowly as he moved his hands back to her neck, Dave sighed. "You can't live like that forever, Jen. The job isn't enough to fill your life. Sure, you can try. You can even do it successfully. There's no denying you're talented. But, babe...don't you want what you didn't get a chance to have?"

"It's not worth the risk to me, Dave," JJ confided huskily, dropping her head to stare at the piled carpet on the floor. She could feel the emotions rising in her chest again, the urge to scream or cry or just snap almost as tangent as Dave's touch against her. How could she allow herself to even hope that she might have just a touch of what he was describing? She had tried and lost. Her lesson had been learned.

"That's defeatist talk, Jareau," Dave retorted flatly. "Since when do you just quit? Since when are you a coward?" he growled, his hand tightening around her shoulder as he pulled her backward against his chest. "How will you ever know if the ride was worth the price of admission if you won't step through the damn gates?"

"My life isn't some carnival sideshow," JJ stated defensively, pulling away and stiffening her shoulders. "And I don't think I'm a coward. I think I want to protect myself. If I don't let someone in, they can't hurt me," she whispered violently, her nails digging into her palm as she clenched her hands against her legs.

"They can't help you either," Dave countered against her ear, his breath floating against her skin. By God, when he got his hands on the dick that had managed to erode JJ's confidence in male population to this depth, the son of a bitch was going to wish he'd never heard the name Jennifer Jareau.

Or David Rossi. Because the mark Dave planned to make on that man's life would not be removed in this lifetime…or the one to come.

"I'm happy with the way I am," JJ choked, her eyes stinging. Why couldn't he just drop the damn subject and let it go? His hypnotic voice in her ear was making her wish for things she was better off not having...not even thinking about. She'd let herself wander down this road once before and she'd ended up even more alone than she'd originally been when she met Nick. She didn't want to experience that level of betrayal again. And she sure as hell didn't think she'd ever be able to offer that much trust to another guy again.

Especially not one with more notches in his bedpost than Hugh Hefner.

"Sweetheart, I don't think you even remember what the hell the definition of happy is," Dave disagreed gently. "For you, being happy led to pain. So, you just closed off that part of yourself that let you experience joy. It's understandable. I'd even agree that it's expected to some extent. But at some point, you've got to let somebody get close again. Humans weren't made to be solitary creatures. Hell, even Adam had Eve."

"Yeah," JJ snorted, "and as I remember it, she got screwed over, too," she muttered darkly."I'm going to choose not to have a theological debate tonight and let that one pass," Dave replied with a low chuckle. "Although, I'm pretty sure Father Jimmy would wanna hash that out with you."

"Then I'm lucky that he's your priest and not mine," JJ returned tartly, hating the way her body seemed to melt every time his warm fingers caressed her skin.

"This is true," Dave conceded, resting his chin on her head as his palms found her stiffened shoulders again. "What if I suggested that we make a deal, Jen?"


	26. Chapter 26

**Author's Note: S****ignups are underway on "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum for the Criminal Minds Christmas Gift Fic Exchange through 10/31/11. For anyone that has time to participate, swing by and take a look. Simply tell us what pairings you are willing to write, which pairings you WON'T write, whether your write slash or not, the pairing you'd like to RECEIVE as a gift, and one Christmas carol prompt and three Christmas/Holiday theme prompts. For example: Silent Night (carol), reindeer, Christmas tree, blue holiday lights. For anyone that has any questions, simply PM me.**

**The final VOTING ballot will be released shortly for the second annual Criminal Minds Profiler's Choice Awards will also be up at the forum shortly. We are excited to get this final vote underway.**

**Also, don't forget to join us over at Facebook. We've got a wonderful community of authors and readers alike waiting to engage in stimulating conversation. Simply friend "Ilovetvalot Fanfiction" or "Tonnie Fanfiction". We can't wait to hear from you!**

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Twenty-Six**

Turning to look at him over her shoulder, JJ's gaze narrowed suspiciously. "What kind of deal?" she asked hesitantly, uncertain what nefarious scheme the older man had up his conniving sleeve. From the first day he had joined their team, she had known that he was the ultimate con artist, always intent on getting his own way. And her spidey senses were telling her now that she would be wise to keep on her guard once again.

"If you'll just hear me out and keep an open mind, I think you'll actually approve of what I'm about to suggest, babe," Dave said with a smile as he tapped his finger against her nose.

"I doubt it, but go ahead," JJ said warily, trying not to sigh as his fingers found another particularly delicate spot on her neck and stroked gently.

"Look, neither of us is at what I'd consider to be our best tonight. You almost got shot this morning and have been forced to deal with what even I will describe as a cranky patient. Not only that, but I pushed you to revisit events in your past that you'd rather have remained there. Am I right so far?" he asked, raising a challenging brow at her.

"I suppose so," JJ averred, apprehension sliding down her spine as she searched his every word for the hidden meaning.

"Good," Dave nodded approvingly. "And I...well...I got shot today," he said with a pointed look down at the arm he had resting in a sling."

"True," JJ winced, trying to forget those terrifying moments following the gunshot when she'd watched bright red blood flowing from Dave's body. She should have known then she was in deep trouble. Not much could shake her anymore and those minutes that she'd waited for a doctor to tell her he was okay had been some of the longest of her life. She'd never admit it to him, of course...but he'd become important to her. Against all her best efforts.

"So," Dave said ever so slowly, "I'll stop pushing you this weekend." Seeing JJ raise her eyebrows, her gaze shining with disbelief, he grinned. "Hear me out, Jareau," he ordered, wagging a finger at her.

"I'm listening," JJ snorted, rolling her eyes as she pinched his leg.

"As I was saying, I'll stop pushing you this weekend. I'll be the model of a cooperative patient."

"I like the sound of that," JJ murmured sarcastically.

"It's conditional," Dave pointed out.

Aha. The hidden meaning she had been searching for. "Conditional?" JJ echoed.

"Yeah." Dave nodded. "You gotta give some to get some, babe."

"What do you want?" JJ asked skeptically. The man was nothing if not one of the most cunning creatures God had ever created. And if he had his way, she was certain he'd have her in any number of compromising positions in three point five seconds flat.

"I want you to agree to give me three dates. Real ones. At a restaurant. Flowers...the whole nine yards."

"Why the hell do you think I'd agree to that?" JJ snapped, her chin lifting defiantly. Damn, but this infuriating man had nerve. A date? He honestly thought she would just blindly agree to a date with DC's most annoying son of a bitch?

"First, because if you don't, I'm fully capable of hounding you to the brink of insanity," Dave replied amiably, tapping his finger against her neck.

"And that would be different from any other day in my world, how, exactly?" JJ returned sarcastically.

"Oh, trust me, sweetheart. I've been on my best behavior so far. Second," he said, wriggling two fingers under her nose, "I think you need to be reminded of what happy feels like. Not to mention that you need to be shown that not every single man on the planet is an asshole."

"And you think you're the best example of a non-asshole?" JJ choked incredulously.

"You won't know that unless you agree to the terms, JJ," Dave stated bluntly. "And I have one last reason."

"I can't wait to hear this," JJ huffed, shaking her blond head in amazement.

"The third reason will probably appeal to you most of all in your current mindset," Rossi mused, smoothing his goatee as he met her eyes.

"Spit it out, Dave," JJ sighed, almost resigned to the fact that she was going to agree to this nonsense in spite of her better judgment.

"You give me the three dates and if I can't manage to change your mind about myself and men in general, I'll back off entirely. We'll have a strictly professional relationship. Amiable colleagues."

Blinking as his offer sank in, JJ licked her lips. If what he said was true, she could have her sanity back in less than a week provided a case didn't take them out of town. "I guess I could stand to have three dinners with you," she murmured finally, almost grudgingly.

"Oh, no," Dave countered as he shook his head. "The dates will consist of whatever I deem appropriate and they have a time limit of twenty-four hours each. That means if I want to pick you up for breakfast and not return you to your doorstep at midnight, you give me your full cooperation. And you do it with a sunny disposition," he added belatedly, well aware of the disbelief flashing in her eyes.

"That's ridiculous!" JJ gasped, her eyes widening.

"That's the terms, babe. Take it or leave it. But, bear in mind, you know just how big a pain in the ass I can be."

"It's extortion," JJ hissed, tempted to smack his bad arm on purpose this time.

"Maybe." Dave shrugged. Tilting his head, he asked, "You haven't ever heard the saying 'All's fair in love and war'?

"Have you ever heard the saying, 'Go to hell!'?" JJ spat, pulling away and reaching for a nearby pillow, deciding that now might be the time to arm herself.

"Many, many times," Dave said with a grin. "But if I'm going, I want company for the trip."

She wanted to squeal with frustration...to rail against the unkind fates that had deemed it necessary that she meet this man. Of course it would all be pointless. One way or another, David Rossi always got his way. "I think I hate you."

"So, there's still uncertainty regarding that," Dave chuckled, ducking to the side as a cushion volleyed in his direction. "Good. It gives me something to build on. But you still haven't answered my question. Are you in or out, Agent Jareau?"

"Damn it," JJ groaned, running a hand through her hair as she met his twinkling eyes.

"C'mon," Dave goaded her, "You don't wanna be a chicken, do you?"

"And now you're resorting to schoolyard bully tactics," JJ grumbled to herself. "Why not? You've tried everything else."

He could sense victory was on the horizon as he leaned forward, his lips hovering just inches from hers. "In or out, JJ," he demanded.

And with a lift of her own stubborn chin, JJ glared back at him. "Oh, I'm in, Rossi. Let's see you put your money where your mouth is."


	27. Chapter 27

_**Author's Note: BIG ANNOUNCEMENT - THE FINAL VOTING BALLOT IS AVAILABLE FOR THE SECOND ANNUAL PROFILER'S CHOICE CM AWARDS on "CHIT CHAT ON AUTHOR'S CORNER" FORUM. Please take this opportunity to recognize some wonderful author's and their stunning pieces of fic. Voting ends 11/30/2011. Two Amazon gift cards will be given to two RANDOM voters that take the time to vote in ten or more categories. Congratulations to all of this year's nominees. Now, let's all read some CM fic!**_

_**Also, you have until 10/31/11 to sign up for the Criminal Minds Christmas Fic Gift Exchange at Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum. This is our LAST challenge of the year and we'd love to see everyone participate with us to create our fellow author's some wonderful stories to read this holiday season!**_

_**And don't forget that we've got quite the collection of fellow authors and readers interfacing over at Facebook. Simply friend "Ilovetvalot Fanfiction" and/or "Tonnie Fanfiction" to join in the fun. Periodic announcements regarding our awards and ongoing work are announced there.**_

_**Thanks to everyone that continues to read, review, favorite and alert our work! You guys are incredible and we love hearing from each one of you!**_

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Twenty-Seven**

David Rossi was a conniving pain in the ass.

Especially at six in the morning.

Closing her eyes as she leaned her head back against the heated seat, she tried to ignore his cheerful humming from his position behind the wheel of the truck he drove. How the hell could anybody be this frickin' happy before dawn? Not even Garcia could pull off being lighthearted until she'd had a cup of coffee in the morning.

And JJ was no Penelope Garcia.

It usually took her three cups of coffee AND a bear claw for her to even acknowledge morning existed. And even then, happy was a stretch.

But none of that had dissuaded a very much awake David Rossi when he'd arrived on her doorstep at the godforsaken hour of five thirty in the morning. If anything, that man had radiated enthusiasm as he'd ordered her to get dressed and pack a ready bag for their first date.

After ten minutes of argument, during which she'd made what she considered to be a very valid argument that he was certifiably insane to even think of beginning any kind of social interaction at such a foul hour of the day, she'd been forced to concede defeat when he'd simply repeated the terms they'd agreed on a week ago.

"The date starts at any point after midnight and concludes at 11:59 pm, JJ. That was the deal, we made. Feel free to welsh if you want...that would work for me, too" he'd stated, smiling arrogantly as he'd leaned against her front door, his eyes gleaming as they'd stared back at her. "Of course," he had reminded her, "a forfeit means that I get to pursue you for as long as I like in any way I deem fit."

And it had been that chilling pronouncement that had motivated her into action, turning on her heel as she'd tugged her short nightshirt down to her knees.

"Pull all you want, sweetheart," he'd taunted. "I plan on seeing it all at some point anyway."

She'd slammed her bedroom door on that smartass remark...and refused to speak to him since. She truly should have let that unsub kill him when she had the chance.

And now, she thought angrily, watching as his long arm reached out to adjust the volume on the radio, the sadistic bastard had the gall to start whistling. WHISTLING!

Who the fuck whistles before seven am?

One thing was fairly clear to her. Having a relationship with someone this impossibly energetic before the sun had managed to appear on the horizon was definitely a no-go.

Recognizing the theme song to The Andy Griffith Show being blown from his pursed lips catapulted her into action. There were only so many indignities she was willing to endure and listening to THAT first thing in the morning was her limit. Gripping her seat belt as she leaned forward to twist the volume up on the radio, JJ growled, "Will you shut UP?"

Merely raising an eyebrow as he stared at the shadowed road ahead of them, Dave murmured, "You really aren't a morning person, are you, babe? I thought I was being generous by forking over six whole hours of my day with you. Maybe I should have added a couple more."

"THIS," JJ ground out, "is NOT morning, Rossi. When the sun has not even woken from its slumber, it is NOT morning."

"I think somebody needs coffee," Dave replied easily, ignoring her obvious bad humor.

"Gee, what was your first clue?" JJ snarked, crossing her arms over her chest as she flopped back against the bucket seat.

Choking back a laugh as he nodded at the windshield, he said, "There's a convenience store up ahead. Maybe a caffeine fix will brighten that mood of yours."

"I wouldn't put any money on it," JJ grumbled under her breath even as she relaxed slightly.

Turning into the paved parking lot of an old-fashioned bait shop a few minutes later, Dave tried not to smirk as he asked, "Do I need to lock the doors to keep you from making a break for it?"

"I'd prepare for several breaks if you don't hurry up," JJ retorted, impatiently tapping her sneakered foot against the floorboard as she nodded pointedly at the glass double door entrance.

"Message received, Agent Jareau," Dave grinned, slamming the truck door and jogging toward the open door.

Ten minutes later, JJ gratefully relieved him of the steaming cup of coffee in his hand as he climbed back into the truck. Taking an appreciative sniff of the aromatic brew, JJ sighed as she took a careful sip, the warm liquid sliding down her throat easily.

Sitting quietly beside her as she took a few more sips, Dave smiled faintly. "Feeling more human?" he asked glibly a few minutes later.

"Less homicidal, at least," JJ said, offering him a withering look. "But not by much."

Dropping a white bag in her lap, Dave grinned. "Consider that a peace offering then."

Forehead wrinkling as she stared down at the plain sack in her lap, she looked at him dubiously. "What is it?"

"With any luck, something that will soothe those frayed nerves of yours," he returned hopefully as he watched her long fingers slowly open the bag.

Laughing as she spied the contents, JJ offered him a genuine smile as she looked up at him. "How did you know?"

"I notice things." Dave shrugged. "Garcia never goes into your office in the mornings we land cases without one of those," he said with a nod toward the chocolate covered bearclaw she pulled out of the bag.

"It's huge," she marveled as she shook her head. "Split it with me?" JJ suggested, breaking the pastry in half and offering it to him.

Taking the pastry from her fingers, Dave grinned. "Now, see...we're getting along."

"Don't push it," JJ mumbled around a mouthful of bear claw.

Taking a sip of his own coffee, Dave smiled a couple of minutes later as he watched JJ lick her fingers. "Good?"

"Very good," JJ sighed, wiping her hands with a napkin before leaning back in her seat and offering him a sidelong glance. "So, now that I'm at least semi-awake and nourished, maybe you could tell me where you're taking me."


	28. Chapter 28

**Author's Note: Hi guys! The FINAL voting process is well underway for the Second Annual Profiler's Choice Criminal Minds Awards hosted by Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum. Links can be found on our profiler pages. Please come on over and take a look at this year's incredibly talented nominees and their stories. Two random voters (that vote in ten categories or more) will be selected to receive gift cards from Amazon. com at the completion of this year's awards. So, take a moment and join the fun. Please PM us with any questions.**

_**And don't forget that we've got quite the collection of fellow authors and readers interfacing over at Facebook. Simply friend "Ilovetvalot Fanfiction" and/or "Tonnie Fanfiction" to join in the fun. Periodic announcements regarding our awards and ongoing work are announced there.**_

_**Thanks to everyone that continues to read, review, favorite and alert our work! You guys are incredible and we love hearing from each one of you!**_

**Also, if anyone has any threads they would like to see opened at the forum, please let us know!**

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Twenty-Eight**

Dave grinned as JJ dropped her coffee back into the receptacle in the center console. "And ruin the surprise?"

"Kidnapping is a federal offense, you know," JJ noted darkly, leaning her head back against the seat and yawning.

"It's not kidnapping when you willingly get in the truck with me," Dave chuckled, admiring the way her tee shirt pulled tight against her chest when she raised her arms over her head and stretched. The woman had a body that could stop traffic...and his heart.

"I wouldn't exactly call me a willing participant on this little adventure of yours. If I recall correctly, I was blackmailed into it," JJ commented, though there was no real heat behind her words this time. He had brought her coffee, after all. And a donut. That earned him a few points.

But just a few. She might have softened her attitude for the present battle, but she had no intention of letting him win the war.

"You could have told me all bets were off," Dave returned easily as he slipped his seat belt into place. "I could have pursued you at my leisure that way," he added as he winked. "As it is, I have three dates to sweep you off your feet."

"And out of my comfy bed, evidently," JJ muttered under her breath as she stretched again, squirming against the comfortable leather seat. "Seriously," she asked, looking out the window. "Where are we going?"

"Well, first, we're going to head up to my cabin in the woods," Dave explained, twisting the key in the ignition, the engine instantly roaring to life.

"I've been to your so-called cabin," JJ grunted as he maneuvered the vehicle back onto the highway. "It's that way," she noted, jerking a thumb over her shoulder in the opposite direction.

"Not my home, JJ," Dave patiently said as he grinned. "My cabin. The one that actually is a cabin. It's about twenty miles this way," he explained, pointing a finger toward the windshield.

Offering the man a disbelieving sidelong glance, JJ shook her head, much like the blonde-headed Alice had done when she had come face to face with the rabbit hole. "So you're dragging me off to the middle of nowhere in the woods in the dark. If this was a horror movie, I'd be getting pretty concerned right about now. You sure you don't have any homicidal urges?" she asked him speculatively.

Dave grinned. "None that involve you, babe. Now, that guy from Cybercrime that's been hanging around your office this week?" Dave noted, turning to look at her face, "He might be another story."

Eyebrows furrowing, JJ tilted her head. "You mean Craig?" she asked, wrinkling her nose and shaking her head.

"If that's his name/" Dave shrugged a little stiffly. "I've been referring to him as jackoff..."

"You have no gaydar at all, do you?" JJ asked, raising an eyebrow as she turned her face toward the older man, her forehead furrowing as she watched his expression. "Craig has been with his life partner for seven years, Dave. We went to the Academy together. He was getting me to write a recommendation. They're trying to adopt a child," she sighed, shaking her head again. Rolling her eyes, she mumbled, "Why the hell I'm explaining myself to you, I don't know."

"Maybe because you'd like Craig to live a long and healthy life," Dave replied agilely, shifting in his seat behind the steering wheel. Privately relieved by her explanation, Dave felt some of the tension slide out of him.

"And what is THAT supposed to mean?" JJ asked, arching one eyebrow as she glared at him.

"It means that I don't have to look at him as competition," Dave remarked evenly, keeping his eyes on the road.

"Competition?" JJ echoed, her jaw dropping. "I'm not some kind of prize, Rossi," she snorted, her shoulders stiffening as she reached over and punched his arm. "As you will soon find out if you don't tell me exactly what you have in mind once we get to this cabin in the woods," she noted darkly.

Chuckling as he leaned one shoulder against the window as he drove, Dave shook his head. "Afraid, JJ?"

"Irritated is a better description," she retorted snarkily. "C'mon, Dave. What are you planning here?" she asked.

"So suspicious," Dave chided. "I believe our agreement stated that I was to manage our little excursions together with no comments from the peanut gallery. The rules stipulate I get to chose location and get your for twenty-four hours. I plan on taking full advantage of that. And I don't want to compete with anyone or thing else for your attention on our first date. Hence, the location," he said, nodding out at the road ahead of them. "There's no cell phone reception out here. Thus, no chance of being interrupted."

"And what do you suggest we do out here?" JJ complained. "Play scrabble?"

Lips twitching, Dave replied, "I happen to be very good at scrapple. I'd kick your ass."

"Doubtful," JJ huffed, holding onto the handle on the truck door as they navigated a sharp curve. "Considering you're part caveman."

"There are other things for us to do. It's supposed to be a gorgeous day," Dave murmured, glancing up at the unclouded sky, still darkened, but clear. "We can hike. I brought fishing poles. And you haven't lived until you've watched the sun set over my pond."

"Fishing?" JJ repeated, a hint of a smile playing on her lips. She loved to fish, not that she was going to share that information with him.

"I'll even bait your hook for you if you're nice to me," he offered generously, his smile widening as he caught the slightly wistful sound of her voice.

"How very kind of you," JJ chuckled drily. "But I think I'm perfectly capable of wriggling a little worm onto a hook."

"Ah, so you have a little experience in that area?" Dave asked, flipping his turn signal on and veering off onto a gravel road shaded by towering trees.

"Farm girl, remember," JJ reminded him, his face thrown into shadow as the progressed up the lane. "I'm fairly certain I could bait a hook about the same time I began walking."

"Really?" Dave asked appreciatively.

"Yep. And for the record, I can skin what I kill, too," JJ replied, tongue in cheek. "Including animals of the two legged variety."

"Consider me warned," Dave laughed as he spotted the driveway for his small hunting cabin. "Here we are." He nodded as he turned the truck. "Welcome to my home away from home, JJ."


	29. Chapter 29

**Author's Note - So, I know I sound like a broken record, guys, but We've got less than two weeks left to vote in the Profiler's Choice CM Awards. ALL the details can be found on "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. Links are in my profile page. If you've got ANY questions, PLEASE PM me. Also, for every person that votes in at least TEN categories, you are automatically registered to win one of two Amazon. com gift cards. So, please, put on those reading hats, grab a cup of coffee and check out the ballot. We have some great stories and fabulous authors up for consideration.**

**Also, we have a new forum article up for your consideration at the forum by one of our fellow authors, Kricket Williams called, "The Art of the Tactful Review". Check it out! It's amazingly insightful. Look for new articles coming soon by some of your favorite writers on the CM site. Anyone that has an idea that THEY would like to write for the forum, please contact me.**

**As always, I invited you to join me and tons of other authors and readers over at Facebook. We're having a blast getting to know each other, encouraging each other and swapping ideas! Simply friend "Ilovetvalot Fanfiction."**

**As always, we thank everyone for reading our stories. Reviews keep me motivated to keep going, so, if you have a moment drop a comment. Thanks again for following our work.**

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Twenty-Nine**

Trailing Rossi up the roughly hewn steps of his cabin, JJ's eyes narrowed on the door. Poking him sharply in his surprisingly firm bicep, she snorted, "This place better have two bedrooms, Rossi, otherwise, we're out of here at sundown."

Lips twitching, Dave grinned over his shoulder. "Don't worry. Your virtue will remain intact. I'll sleep on the couch tonight," he soothed generously.

"Lock on the door?" JJ asked sarcastically, trying to ignore how well his blue jeans conformed to his very nice assets. Good Lord, she obviously needed more sleep if her mind was moving in that direction at this time of the morning.

"No, but I've got a chair I can loan you to slide under the doorknob if you're really concerned about your lily white reputation," Dave chuckled as he clicked the key in place.

"Trust me, if word gets out that I spent the night at the great David Rossi's out of the way hideaway, my rep is gonna be anything BUT pure as the driven snow," JJ quipped, tossing her hair over her shoulder as she adjusted her bag on her shoulder.

Turning as he pushed open the door, Dave sighed. "I hadn't thought of that," Dave said quietly, his deep voice serious as he met her gaze. "JJ, if staying here with me tonight really does make you uncomfortable, we can go back tonight."

Eyes widening at his suggestion, JJ forced herself not to gape. He really was trying to be honorable, shocking as that might be. "You're serious?" she murmured, blinking slowly as she stared into his concerned eyes.

"Of course I'm serious," Dave retorted, his eyebrows drawing together. "Jen," he began slowly, "this isn't some joke to me. I'm trying to convince you to give me an honest chance here. It's not some lark."

"I...okay," JJ said softly, tilting her head as she watched the serious expression grow deeper on his face. "I'm fine staying here, Dave."

"You're sure?" Dave asked. "Because honestly, I hadn't thought about it from that perspective, and I'd hate to have to hide a body that had disrespected you."

Lips twitching, JJ walked through the door. "Just make sure the guy isn't gay before you go to the trouble," she teased, dropping her bag on the floor inside the door.

"Very funny. What's his name seemed pretty hetero to me," Dave grumbled, closing the door behind him. "Besides, a guy has to know what he's up against, Jen. You're young...attractive...I'm pretty sure there are a few guys I should keep my eye on."

"If there are, it's news to me." JJ shrugged, yawning again as she felt another wave of fatigue slide through her. "Most men that aren't complete idiots know that I'm not a big fan of relationships."

"That was a dig wasn't it?" Dave grinned, dropping the cooler he'd pulled from the back of the truck on the dining room table.

"All right, maybe idiot is a strong term. How about stubborn and mule headed?" she suggested pleasantly.

"I'll give you that," Dave chuckled, popping of the lid and pulling out the supplies he'd brought along, methodically putting the items into their assigned places. "But, I'm rarely wrong about people, JJ. You and I could be good together. I'm hoping I'll be able to change that narrow minded opinion you have of men in general."

"I haven't had nearly enough coffee to have this argument yet." JJ shook her head, looking around the cabin for the first time. A comfortable sofa and recliner graced the living room with a small television center set up in one corner. The stereotypical deer antlers hung on one wall. Behind her, a small utilitarian kitchen with the basic amenities graced one end of the room. And a well made dining room table completed the entire ensemble.

Lifting his head to smile serenely at her as JJ's eyes walked over his home away from home, he asked, "Not what you were expecting?"

"Well, this is actually what a cabin should look like," JJ murmured, impressed in spite of herself. "Not like the mansion you have sixty miles in the other direction. Do you have a lot of luck hunting up here?" she asked, glancing out the window.

"So-so. Honestly, I use this place more as a retreat than as a hunting cabin. I do a lot of writing up here. It's quiet and peaceful and not very many people know where it is."

"All bonus points for one of DC's most eligible bachelors when he's on a deadline, huh?" JJ quipped, pacing the small living room and peering into the DVD rack. "Somebody's a John Wayne fan...and surprisingly, he likes Cary Grant, too," she noted, her eyes scanning the DVD collection.

"I like old movies, period. You know, back when they'd actually stick a plot in one to keep things interesting," Rossi snorted, opening the fridge to slide in the milk and eggs.

"So, you aren't exactly a Terminator and Die Hard fan?" JJ laughed, pleasantly surprised.

"Don't get me wrong, I like an action movie as much as the next guy." Dave shrugged as he watched her trail one finger against the edge of his movie collection. "But nobody could do tough like The Duke. Schwarzenegger just doesn't have the personality to pull off more than three word sentences."

Chuckling, JJ turned back toward the kitchen. "Can I do something to help?" she offered politely.

"Nope." Dave shook his head as he slid the last item into place. "Actually, I was going to suggest you take a nap," he said, nodding toward the open doorway leading to the single bedroom. "I thought I'd make us some breakfast and a real pot of coffee," he smirked, nodding to the coffeepot on the counter. "It'll take about an hour and believe it or not, I do feel bad for pulling you out before dawn."

"Hmmmm...interesting," JJ mused softly, clucking her tongue against the roof of her mouth as she narrowed her eyes, attempting to analyze the man that was obviously intent on throwing her for a very confusing loop.

"What?" Dave asked blankly as he grabbed a canister of coffee of one of the kitchen shelves.

"You're almost pleasant company in the middle of nowhere. I never would have imagined it," she teased with a faint smile.

"Cute. Go take your nap," Dave said with a nod toward the darkened room. "The bathroom is connected to the bedroom and the sheets are already changed. Get a little sleep. That'll make your company more pleasant later, I think," he mocked, one dark brow wriggling.

"I'm a delightful companion when I'm not getting rousted from my bed before God is even awake," JJ grumbled as she wandered toward the bedroom.

Strange how the sound of his laughter filled her with warmth as she closed the door behind her. Perhaps Dave had drugged her bearclaw?


	30. Chapter 30

**Author's Note: Hello! And Happy Holiday Season! First, a huge round of congratulations to each winner in the second annual Profiler's Choice Criminal Minds Awards. Thanks to each of them and all our nominees as well as everyone that took the time to cast a vote! It was a huge success with a 166 unique voters choosing from some fabulous stories! Hopefully next year will be even bigger and better. Winning fics have been posted at "Chit Chat on Author's Corner". Check it out.**

**We also have signups in session through December 31 for our "Resolutions Challenge" for January. Rules and details are also at the forum! Please join us for the challenge that will kickoff the New Year.**

**Also, we're going strong over on FaceBook. We've got some amazing authors and fun threads. To join the fun, simply friend "Ilovetvalot Fanfiction".**

**And as always, thanks to our readers! Your reviews and alerts make our day and we love hearing from you! We don't own a thing, but we sure wish we did.**

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Thirty**

She had never been a big believer in the virtue of naps, having decided as a child that she much preferred being awake and in the thick of things at all times. But as she opened her eyes and stretched, the smell of coffee tickling her nose, JJ wondered if perhaps she had been foolish to not take advantage of such a wonderful respite.

Dave had been right. She had enjoyed the small siesta, and her body felt far more ready to face whatever day he had planned. Frowning as she considered that thought, she decided that she'd never let him know that he'd been right, though. The man already had a God-complex that would put most minor deities to shame, and she wasn't going to feed his ego any more than was required.

_Now, was that any way to think about the man that was obviously slaving away cooking a wonderful breakfast?_ JJ's inner self asked almost piously as her stomach rumbled, the unmistakable aroma of sausage and biscuits wafting all around. The bear claw that had been her pre-breakfast snack had obviously worn off, and her stomach growled again as she sniffed appreciatively.

Smiling from the doorway as he watched JJ stretch in the bed, her nose wrinkling as she yawned widely, Dave called, "C'mon, sleepyhead. Rise and shine."

Eyelids fluttering as she pushed up in the bed, JJ watched her host cross the room, a heavy wooden tray in her hands. "I could have come out to the table," JJ murmured, her voice husky from sleep.

"You think I was gonna risk your wrath twice in one day? Nuh uh," Dave grinned, dropping the tray on the bed, the quilt dimpling beneath the wooden legs. "This time I wake you up bearing gifts."

"It smells wonderful." JJ smiled slightly, appreciatively sniffing the air. "So, you can cook, huh?" she asked, accepting the mug of coffee he pressed into her hand.

"Well," Dave drawled, wriggling his eyebrows, "I won't starve, but there's not a lot of skill involved in frying sausage and popping ready-made biscuits in the oven. And the egg basically scrambles itself in the skillet." Sitting down on the bed beside her, he carefully studied her expression as eh asked, "Feeling better?"

Combing her fingers through her hair self-consciously, JJ nodded as a wave of nervousness flooded her. Why, she didn't quite understand. Dave had seen her sleep before. Countless times. He'd even woken her up in the past. Many times. The nature of their team's duties demanded a definite lack of privacy on even the best day.

But being in his bed...vulnerable...with his entire attention focused on her was...disconcerting, to say the least. Not unwelcome, exactly. Just...different. "A lot," she admitted huskily, meeting his gaze. "I'm not really a morning person. Usually I consume an entire pot of coffee before I ever get to the office. And on cases...I guess I never really let myself rest until we get home."

"I've noticed," Dave murmured, gesturing at the food. "Eat. In addition to being exhausted lately, I've noticed you don't eat nearly enough. And certainly not anything healthy," he teased, remembering her chocolate bar for breakfast the previous week. "Seriously, Hershey's wasn't designed to be a breakfast bar, Jen."

"I was in a hurry," JJ protested, laughing as she as she dropped her mug onto the tray . "If you remember correctly, we were boarding a plane."

Lips twitching, Dave nodded. "I also remember offering you one of my granola bars. You sneered at it."

"I guess I did," JJ admitted ruefully, reaching for a biscuit that was perfectly golden brown. "So," she said after taking a bite of the fluffy bread and chewing slowly, "You've been watching me, huh?"

"For longer than you wanna know about," Dave confirmed, reaching for his fork and taking a bite from her plate. "Try the eggs," he suggested as he nodded toward the overflowing tray.

Obediently forking a bite of the eggs between her lips, she smiled. "I don't know whether to be worried or flattered," she said, swallowing.

"I told you that I'd been interested you for a while. I make it a habit to know everything I can about the opposition." Dave winked. "You aren't the only one that can get into Garcia's good graces, you know. Give her something sparkly and she's a fount of information," he chuckled.

"You've stooped to bribery now as well as blackmail and coercion in your pursuit of me, have you?" JJ teased, surprised to find herself relaxing with him. But if she was honest with herself, Dave was one of the easiest men she'd ever met to get along with. Non-judgmental with an open mind, he seldom made snap calls about anyone. Instead, he sat back and watched people. Gathered his information and made informed decisions.

It was one of the qualities she respected most about him.

That, and he was incredibly loyal to those he cared about. She'd seen it with every member of the team. Whether he was supporting Hotch through the nightmares George Foyet had inflicted or helping Reid face the demons of his past, he'd stood by their collective side. Strong. Stoic. Supportive.

And truthfully, she was starting to wonder why she was fighting against him so hard. Yes, he had a colorful past. But she was astute enough to know that the rumor mill at the Bureau could be a viciously inaccurate source of information.

"Hey?" Dave frowned, waving his fork in front of her nose. "JJ?"

Blinking, JJ refocused on Dave's face, opening her mouth for the bite of sausage he shoved gently between her lips. "Sorry," she mumbled as she grinned sheepishly.

"Did you hear what I said?"

Shaking her head as she swallowed the savory meat, JJ replied, "No. I drifted off there for a moment."

"Guess I need to work on my conversational skills then." Dave winked, biting his own biscuit as he watched her face. "I was saying that I already told you there wasn't a rule I wasn't willing to break where you're concerned. All's fair in love and war, babe."

Laughing, she shook her head at his steadfast determination as she wiped her mouth with her napkin. "You're making that clear," she retorted as she nodded. "So, now that you've got me stashed in your forest hideaway and fed me, what's your next move?"

"I thought I'd let you decide," Dave replied graciously, frowning as he stared at her still half full plate. Reminding himself that it wouldn't be prudent to pick a fight over their first meal together, he shifted his gaze back to her face. "What would you like to do, JJ?"

* * *

_**So, are you guys still enjoying this one?**_


	31. Chapter 31

**Author's Note: Hey, guys, due to forum difficulties that will hopefully be resolved by fanfiction dot net soon, if you wish to join the Valentine's Challenge 2012, please visit us over at facebook. There is a group link on my page (Ilovetvalot Fanfiction) and on Hx Chick's page (Hx Chick) where you may sign up. Thanks!**

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Thirty-One**

"So, I get a say?" JJ smiled faintly as she lifted her coffee cup to her lips, sipping carefully as she weighed her many options.

"Hey, I'm trying to impress you here with my generous nature," Dave replied as he winked. "Is it working yet?"

looking at him through her lashes, JJ murmured into her cup, "I'm reserving judgment,"

"But I'm growing on you, aren't I?" Dave grinned, leaning one elbow against the bed as he stared at her.

"Like a wart," JJ snorted, laughing as he choked on another bite of his food. Tilting her head, she considered the man in front of her. She could drag this out and make their time together as uncomfortable as possible, or she could actually try to have some fun with him. Either way, she knew he was going to hold her to the letter of their bargain. And being insufferable was something he'd see as a challenge. It would be like raving a red flag underneath a bull's nose.

And she really didn't want to spend the weekend yelling, "Ole!"

"How about that hike you mentioned earlier? Were you serious about that?" JJ asked curiously. It had been a long time since she'd stretched her legs on something other than concrete sidewalks. She missed nature.

"That depends," Dave said slowly as he grinned. "Did you bring something a little more substantial than ballet flats?" he asked, looking pointedly at the delicate shoes she had abandoned next to the bed. "You'll sink knee deep in the mud in those things. Although, I wouldn't mind getting a picture of that."

"Cute," JJ retorted with a roll of her eyes, wrinkling her nose. "There will be no photographic evidence of this little..."

"Date?" Dave supplied helpfully.

"Dates are not slumber parties," JJ replied insistently. "They last a couple of hours and both parties return to their respective homes at the end of the allotted time. I'm not sure what this qualifies as," she finished as she shook her head.

Dave shrugged. "This is me working on a timeline. So, a hike, huh?" he asked, gathering their dishes. "Let me put these in the kitchen and you can get changed. I'd like to show you around the area."

And watching him rise from the bed and stride toward the kitchen, JJ found herself strangely excited by the prospect of spending some time with the older man.

_**/00/**_

Two hours later, she wondered if she was delusional earlier when that thought had filtered through her mind. She was now fairly certain that she was on the verge of a coronary, and she was going to instruct the doctor to be sure to list "David Rossi" as the cause of her death!

She had no idea where he got his strength. Even though she considered herself to be toned and in good shape, a requirement for the physical demands of their job, she was obviously ill equipped to be tromping through the forest, over hill and over dale, with the FBI's answer to Johnny Appleseed!

Glaring at the man that had suddenly become intent on sending her to an early grave, JJ planted her walking stick soundly against the pathway. "Are you sure this is the easy path, Dave? I'm beginning to wonder if you're bringing me out here to hide my body in some out of the way location where not even Reid would be able to find me."

"Babe, I told you an hour ago that we could stop whenever you wanted," Dave replied gently, wincing as she swatted at a line of fire ants with the overgrown stick she was carrying.

Shaking her head as she pushed her bangs off her face, JJ declared stubbornly, "You said there was a special place that I just had to see. It's got to be great if it's taking this long to get there, so I want to see it!"

"We're almost there," Dave informed her carelessly, leaning against his own stick as he tried not to laugh at the disgruntled, disgusted expression blanketing her expressive face.

"You said that an hour ago," JJ declared obstinately, kicking at a rock in the pathway. "Either you need a new watch, a new sense of direction, or a lobotomy. It's possible that you need all three. The only thing I'm entirely certain of is that I need my own head examined for agreeing to this little jaunt through the Highland Hell," she asserted, blowing a sweaty strand of hair out of her eyes.

"It was actually your idea, babe," Dave reminded her as she grinned, watching as she swatted madly at a fly buzzing around her face. "But I promise, what I have to show you is right over that rise," he said, nodding toward a copse of trees in the distance.

"Fine," JJ grunted begrudgingly. "But there better be a leprechaun waiting with a pot of gold or a fairy to give me three magic wishes waiting on us," she muttered as she began to follow him up the steep incline to the plateau above. Short seconds later, she accepted the helping hand he offered her as he pulled her up the slope to stand beside him. Blinking as she stared down below, her eyes widened. "Is that a waterfall?" she asked blankly, staring at the bubbling stream below, ripples of crystal blue water cascading into the mouth.

"Yep. Pretty, huh?" Dave smiled. "But that's not the best part," he said, pointing across the brook.

"Those look like grave markers," JJ said, squinting as he helped her make her way down the hill. "Jeez, you didn't bring me to some unsub burial ground, did you?" JJ whined as her footsteps faltered and Dave grabbed her elbow to steady her. "Cause, really, if you did, you seriously aren't all you've been purported to be in the dating department," she snickered as they finally reached the bottom of the hill.

"No, smartass," Dave chuckled. "I didn't. But that would have been unique. No, I heard Reid mention that you're a bit of a Civil War nut and I thought you might get a kick out of this."

Casting him a sidelong glance, JJ smiled. "You don't grow up an hour from Gettysburg and not catch the Civil War fever at some point, Dave," she stated blandly.

"I see," Dave nodded. "Well, those," he said, pointing across the stream, "are the graves of three Confederate soldiers. I did a little research. Evidently, a contingent hid in the caves around here," he said, nodding toward the woods, "after one of the skirmishes. Those three didn't make it out. C'mon," he said, jerking his head to the right. "There's a place downstream where we can cross and you can get a look. I might even show you the cave if you're nice."

"Seriously?" JJ asked hopefully, her eyes widening.

Dave winked as he realized she was excited at the proposition. "If you don't mind a few more minutes hike."

"Lead the way," JJ nodded eagerly, shoving his shoulder slightly.

Somehow, without realizing it, Jennifer Jareau found herself willing to follow David Rossi wherever he might want to go.


	32. Chapter 32

_**Author's Note: Hi, ya'll. There are so many exciting things going on over at "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum this week! First, we have a brand new April challenge up for those that wish to participate. All the details can be found there, but basically, sign up to write your favorite character. You'll be assigned a random Original Character to pair them with in some capacity. For example, sign up with "David Rossi" and you might be assigned the OC of the second Mrs. David Rossi. Sign-ups are through March 31,2012.**_

_**Also, there's a brand new "Author of the Week" thread and this week our spotlight is on the fabulous Ren Kayashima. And, we've added a new discussion thread, "The OCs of Criminal Mind" for productive conversation regarding original characters.**_

_**Fortune Cookie Friday prompts are up for your consideration. And, we'd still like to hear from you on the idea of a Criminal Minds Fanfiction Reading Day. The idea is to choose one Sunday a month to set aside for reading and reviewing the many fantastic stories in the CM fandom. Swing by and comment on any of our discussion threads. We'd love to have you.**_

_**And a supersized thank you to everyone reading, reviewing, favoriting and/or alerting our work. We appreciate each one of you. Feel free to friend us on facebook at either "Ilovetvalot Fanfiction" or "Tonnie Fanfiction". We've got several fun things going on there too and a whole host of uber-talented author and reader friends chatting.**_

_**As always, Happy Reading!**_

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Thirty-Two**

An hour later, Jennifer Jareau found herself actually enjoying the moment. With David Rossi. The man she had previously determined to be dangerous to her future mental health and safety, not to mention her very sanity.

Would wonders never cease?

He had been the ultimate gentleman, informative and patient while she asked every question she could think of concerning the remarkable graveyard. The mere fact that he even knew about her fascination with all things Civil War still slightly amazed her. And when she had wistfully mentioned that she wished she could photograph the stones for her collection, he had immediately pulled out his cell phone and snapped the requisite pictures before she could even think twice.

Obviously the Apocalypse was nigh and the Earth was about to come to a fiery end, the likes of which would rattle the universe for eons to come.

Glancing around the small cove that was hidden in the copse of trees next to the waterfall, JJ turned to Dave as she asked, smiling, "Didn't you tell me there was a cave around here, too? I wanna take the tour, Rossi."

"Your wish is my command," Dave replied with a matching grin. Nodding toward the bank of rocks to the left, he said, "The opening isn't too big, but once we get inside, you'll be amazed at the ceiling height."

"I'm finding that I'm amazed at a lot of things," JJ murmured under her breath as she felt his hands surrounding her hips, guiding her over the rocks.

"The entrance is behind that big oak," Dave said, gesturing with one hand as he steadied her with the other. Pausing at the rock doorway, he fished in his backpack for his flashlight, turning it on and shining it inside. "You sure about this, Jen?" he asked, offering her a sidelong glance. "I walked through here a few months back and it's pretty uneven terrain."

"Last time I checked I wasn't exactly a shrinking violet, Rossi," JJ returned dryly, balancing on the edge of the rocky entrance. "I think I can hack it."

"Hey, I was just checking," he protested as he winked. "You didn't exactly seem enthused on our walk out here."

"Well, if you'd told me what we were going to see, it might have been a different story," JJ defended herself. Although, she could admit to herself that he had a point. She had been a little less than cooperative the further they'd moved away from the cabin. "I promise," she said, crossing her heart, "I'll be a very attentive companion."

"Really?" Dave asked with a slow grin, wriggling his eyebrows.

"Attentive to the history lesson," JJ clarified with a laugh, swatting at his arm. "No more whining, I swear," she vowed, crossing her fingers over her chest. And when he held his hand out to her, it seemed like the most natural thing in the world to slip her palm into his and follow him inside the cool cave.

Pausing to catch her breath several minutes later, JJ leaned against the cave's damp wall and blew a strand of hair out of her face.

"You okay?" Dave grinned, swinging the flashlight in her direction.

Nodding, JJ grinned back. "The air...it's so much thinner in here."

"Didn't go caving much when you were a kid, huh?" Dave chuckled as JJ tried to catch her second wind.

"A few caverns here and there," JJ murmured as she shrugged. "Dad was always working and Mom wasn't exactly the type to go trekking through nature."

"You had brothers and sisters though, didn't you?" Dave asked, leaning one shoulder against the rock wall.

"I don't know, did I?" JJ snorted, raising one eyebrow and peering at him in the semi-darkness. "It's not like you don't know my life story. I'm aware that you've been milking Penelope for details about my life, Dave," JJ asserted, smirking as she wagged her finger in his direction.

"She might have fed me a few tidbits here and there," Dave said as he shrugged, unfazed by her accusation. "But, she's a loyal friend. She didn't tell me anything I couldn't have picked up off your personnel jacket," he grumbled.

"You read my jacket!" JJ accused, her eyes widening as she slammed her hand against her hip. "My God, Dave!" JJ groaned.

"Hey, getting information out of you before you're ready to share it is like trying to get blood out of a turnip," Dave retorted defensively. "It can't be done."

Laughing at the disgruntled expression on his face, JJ shook her head. "Didn't stop you from trying though, did it?"

"Hell, no," Dave replied flatly. "Unfortunately, Garcia is as tight-lipped as any woman I've ever met. Which surprised me, considering howmuch she loves to gab."

"She knows how much I value my privacy," JJ returned evenly, smiling sweetly as she imagined the bribes that the man must have offered. "She wouldn't ever betray one of my confidences, no matter what you offered her."

"Damn right about that. I offered her plenty. She never even blinked," Dave muttered, remembering Garcia's twinkling eyes and amused smile. "She told me that I needed to get creative if I wanted to learn about you."

"So you thought kidnapping me and carrying me off into the wilderness might do the trick," JJ chuckled, taking a step forward into the cave.

"Not much to do out here besides talk," Dave returned, mentally patting himself on the back for thinking of the little excursion. "Unless..." he wriggled his eyebrows dramatically, "you'd like to try some non-verbal communication. I'm excellent in that department."

"So I've heard," JJ sniffed, her tone meant to convey her displeasure with that thought. "From multiple sources," she added, her eyes narrowing.

"Not recently, you haven't," Dave replied, unfazed by the look of censure in her eyes. He hadn't done anything even slightly scandalous in more years than he wanted to remember. Hell, most of his old friends accused him of becoming a boring old man. But if being that man might gain him a chance with this woman, he'd happily confess to that particular crime. "Is it such a sin to want to get to know you better, babe?"

"Trust me, Dave, you know a hell of a lot more interesting women than me," JJs ighed. "Wouldn't you like to play with someone in your league?"

"I'm going to surmise that you mean someone like the brainless beach Barbie I last married," Dave offered wearily.

"You said it, not me," JJ replied evenly, crossing her arms over her chest. Biting her lip as she watched his shoulders stiffen, JJ shifted nervously on her feet before throwing her hands up in the air. "Fine," she mumbled. "You can have ten questions. Make them count, Rossi."

* * *

**Please take a moment and let us know what you think! Thanks for reading!**


	33. Chapter 33

_Author's Note: Okay, first, thank you to everyone reading, reviewing, favoriting and alerting our stories. We truly appreciate your comments._

_First, we want to offer you a quick rundown of activities and threads that are ongoing at the forum:_

_We've also introduced a "Help Wanted" thread to the forum for authors that are looking for assistance with various writing complications that come up. Perhaps you want someone to bounce ideas with, or maybe you need a beta….this is the place to post an ad for what you are looking for. We've also reopened the "Chat Chat Among the Authors" thread to discuss spoilers or ask questions. The "Getting to Know YOU…Tell us about yourself" thread is open. Swing by there to introduce yourself whether you are a reader or an author. We'd love to meet you._

**_And lastly don't forget our "Pay It forward Review Incentive Program". From now until the end of MAY, anyone that reviews a ROMANCE related story is eligible to win an gift card. Details found on thread at forum._**

_This week's author of the week is the talented Nebula2. Please swing by that thread to ask questions about their writing and/or stories. In addition, there are several other threads open for comment. We hope to see each of you there._

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Thirty-Three**

Now that was an offer that he had not expected. Schooling his features into what he hoped wasn't shock, he grinned as he wriggled his eyebrows. "You wanna do a bit of Truth or Dare with that offer, Jen? I can make it worth your time."

"If I had wanted to play Spin the Bottle, Romeo, that's what I'd have offered," JJ shot back as she rolled her eyes. Holding up one finger, she wriggled it as she added, "And that was one. You've got nine to go."

"Hey!" Dave's eyebrows shot to his hairline as he protested. "That didn't count!"

"A question is a question is a question," JJ intoned, shaking her head as she leaned back against the unforgiving stone wall. "Wanna risk losing another?"

"If I'd know you were gonna keep score, I'd have started with something more important," Dave snorted, meeting her flashing eyes. Beneath her feigned indifference, he could easily see the worry hiding in her gaze. So Jennifer didn't want him to dig too deep, he thought to himself, remembering the earlier conversations he had had with her and the bombshells that had been dropped then. Reaching out to lace his fingers with hers, he tugged her closer as he asked, his voice deliberately neutral, "Let's start with the easy stuff. What was it like growing up in Pennsylvania?"

"Quiet. Peaceful," JJ answered with a dreamy smile, letting her fingers settle against his. "While I was growing up, I couldn't appreciate those qualities. I couldn't wait to be anywhere but where I was. I hadn't learned to fully grasp that not everywhere could you leave your doors unlocked at night…that there were some places that you didn't know your neighbors…and your neighbor's neighbors, too for that matter. I foolishly thought it was the most boring place on earth and I couldn't wait to be free of it." With a rueful shake of her head, she muttered, "Most days I'd kill to find boring now….to sleep through the night without hearing a siren going off somewhere."

"Ever think about going back?" Dave asked cautiously.

"Sometimes," JJ admitted as she nodded. "A few years ago…after I lost the baby…I went back for an extended vacation. I needed someplace where I could go and lick my wounds….somewhere I felt safe. Going back home seemed like the natural solution. But what they say about never being able to go home again….it's true. Nothing felt right anymore. I was an outsider there. And in small towns, that's the ultimate sin."

"I take it that you didn't confide in your family about what had happened," Dave offered, his words not really a question.

Shaking her head, JJ kicked at the gravel underneath her shoe. "No," she said with a mirthless chuckle. "My parents wouldn't exactly have understood. They're good people. But, this century hasn't exactly made landfall in the community I come from. Back there, you courted, got married and had babies in that order, or you got labeled as a whore. And after my sister…" JJ began, stopping abruptly as she realized what she'd been about to confide.

Seeing her face tighten as she pressed her lips together, Dave recognized she'd unintentionally revealed more than she felt ready to share. And at the risk of her clamming up altogether, he steered the conversation in another direction. "So, small town living wasn't for you. How'd you get out?" He actually already knew the answer to that one, but that wasn't the point. He needed to keep her talking.

"Soccer scholarship." JJ smiled, her eyes shining with relief. He could have pressed the issue, she knew. But, he hadn't. And she was grateful for that. "My dad taught me to play. Turns out, I had a talent for it. It took me all the way through college."

"And straight into the Bureau's welcoming arms, huh?"

"As you know, that was your fault. I'm still not sure whether I hate you or not for that," JJ replied with a genuine laugh.

Dave grinned as he tugged at her hand. "What are my odds running on that one these days?"

"Fifty-fifty most of the time," JJ warned, arching one brow. "So, I wouldn't push me on that score," she snorted.

"Who knew one little lecture could change your life," Dave mused, tilting his head. "Can I really help it if I'm naturally charismatic?"

"And just when I think I could like you, your ego gets in the way," JJ mocked with a roll of her expressive eyes. "How did you get involved with the Bureau, though? I've tried to find out before, but it appears as though it's a closely guarded secret. I asked Hotch when you rejoined the team, you know. He said that you wouldn't even tell him," she commented.

"I thought I was the one asking the questions," Dave grumbled, his face flushing at her question.

"Quid pro quo, Rossi," JJ returned evenly, realizing quickly that she wasn't the only one hiding secrets. "If I'm going to divulge my secrets, you can give up some of yours, can't you?"

"I guess you have a point," Dave conceded with a shrug, gesturing for her to precede her through one of the narrow doors of the cave. "What was the question again?"

Following the dirt path ahead of her, JJ smiled. "The question was, how did you go from the Marines to the Bureau?"

"I lost a bet," Dave replied evasively.

Stopping in her tracks, JJ turned around to look at him in the dim light. Shining her flashlight up in his face, she watched him squint. "What?"

"You heard me and will you kindly quit trying to blind me," Dave growled, gently shoving her arm down.

"You lost a bet," JJ echoed incredulously.

"Yeah. Jason Gideon and I served together. The Bureau recruited him first and then sent him to sucker me into the game. The bastard took me out, got me drunk and conned me into playing poker with him. I lost," Dave said flatly.

JJ giggled, the sound echoing in the chamber. "I thought you had a rep for always winning at poker."

"I do. Cultivated _after_ I learned to never drink a bottle of Jack Daniels and try my hand at cards."

"So you and Jason were friends once upon a time, huh?" JJ asked.

"We're still friends. Of a sort. He's the reason I came back."


	34. Chapter 34

**IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE**: _Just a quick explanation to those of you not aware of what's been happening in the wonderful world of fanfic. Recently, www. fanfiction. net has been doing a mass purge of all the "M" rated stories on their site. In an effort to avoid my work being taken down for good, I, instead, chose to take them down myself until the purge is over and everything has settled down. In the meantime, I will continue to publish my "T" and below rated work on www. fanfiction. net, while my "Mature Adult" rated work (for the time being only) is going to be published at The Writers Coffee Shop ( www. thewriterscoffeeshop library/ viewuser. php?uid=59099… remove the spaces to make this into a real web address). Please contact me if you need further directions. Direct links to the currently updated story can be found on my facebook page at Ilovetvalot fanfiction_

_In order to access the stories on The Writers Coffee Shop, you will need to register for an account (they guard the M-rated stories from young eyes). It is completely free and takes about 1 minute to complete the registration process! Once you are at The Writers Coffee Shop, click Login in the upper right corner. Then choose Register in the middle of the page. Follow the directions to register, and remember that you don't have to complete any of the fields that don't have asterisks! We hope you'll take the short trip to our new home for our more mature work and visit us soon!_

_The good news is that as I repost stories there, they are getting an OVERHAUL. That's right, folks! New stuff is being added to old stories. Also, two of my ongoing epics (because of their mature content) are only being published there as well. "Touched by an Angel" and "You Found Me" are the epics that are only available there! They are now uploaded as well as rejuvenated stories, "Consuming Fires" (a Dave/Emily), "Afterglow (a Dave/JJ), "Tulips" (a Dave/Emily), "Delicious Depravity" (Rossi/Erin/Aaron), and another ongoing epic, "Learning to Love Again". Come by and check it out!_

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Thirty-Four**

Cocking her head as she contemplated that interesting piece of information, JJ repeated slowly, "Gideon's the reason you came back to the Bureau? How so?"

Shrugging, Dave kept his hand tightly around hers as he led them into another corridor, the dampness of the cave surrounding them. "Let's just say I got a phone call that left me concerned and leave it at that."

"Let's say we don't and you tell me the whole story," JJ countered, tugging on his head and effectively stopping him.

Rolling his eyes as he recognized the determined tone to her voice, Dave swung his flashlight around the cave. "I thought you were the one answering questions, babe. Don't think I'm not cataloguing this feeble attempt at evasion."

"Catalogue all you please, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let that particular piece of information slip." Following the beam of his flashlight, JJ suddenly gasped. "Oh, Dave. There's a waterfall! And it's glowing!"

Grinning at the happiness in her words, Dave tugged her forward as he said, "It's apparently worn through the limestone for centuries and exposed the veins in the rocks, which are iridescent. I found it during one of my explorations a few years ago."

Tearing her eyes from the phenomena, JJ hazarded a glance up at his face. "You really are an enigma."

Arching a brow as he met her gaze, Dave asked drily, "And what makes you say that? Just because I happen to know about waterfalls and caves?"

"Don't play dumb," JJ snorted, carefully making her way down the rocky slope to sit beside the underground stream, the bubbling water almost hypnotic. "You know damn well you cultivate that shroud of mystery you where like a blanket."

Smiling faintly as he parked himself beside her on the rocky precipice, Dave shook his head. "Maybe once. Now, I just like my privacy. Once I got famous, I found it wasn't so much a guarantee anymore, so, I started guarding it a bit more vigilantly."

"And you give me a hard time…" JJ grumbled.

"Ah, no." Dave shook his head and snorted. "I let in the people that matter…the people I know care about me. You have a big "Do Not Disturb" sign written all over you."

"Maybe," JJ admitted grudgingly, before offering him a sidelong look. "But since I appear to be one of those people that you care about enough to let inside the mind of David Rossi, I want the scoop on Jason."

"Is this more than just passing interest, Jen?" Dave asked abruptly, frowning as jealously flared in his darkened eyes.

Cocking her head, JJ stifled a snicker. "You think I've got a thing for Jason Gideon?" she asked in amazement.

"Stranger thing shave been known to happen," Dave said gruffly, shrugging his broad shoulders. "I just like to know who the competition is. And for the record, I could always run circles around Gid."

Rolling her eyes, JJ sighed, "As good to know as that is, no, I have no romantic notions regarding Gideon. But I would like to know how he convinced you to come back to a job you already left once."

"He asked me to," Dave said simply, not bothering to provide the details that he knew that she desperately wanted..

"The way he left….he hurt a lot of people," JJ muttered, picking up a flat stone beside her and tossing it into the stream. He might be willing to let Gideon off the hook, but she wasn't. She'd spent too many hours comforting Reid after Jason deserted him to be forgiving.

"And by a lot of people, you mean Reid," Dave said carefully, well aware of the soft spot JJ held for the young genius. "He had his reasons, Jen," he said loyally.

"And I have my reasons for wanting to roast him over an open flame," JJ said sweetly, tossing another rock. "Very, very slowly."

"He was thinking of the team when he left, Jen. He didn't have a choice. He was falling apart inside," Dave defended his colleague. "He would have either gotten himself or someone else killed in the state he was in."

"Tell that to Reid," JJ said under her breath.

"I have," Dave said, trying not to smile when JJ gaped at him. "What?" he said innocently. "I'm not a complete jackass. I knew the kid was hurting."

"Reid never said a word." JJ shook her head, stunned. Except for Penelope, Reid was the team member she was closest to, protecting him like a younger brother.

"It was a private conversation between him and me," Dave replied noncommittally. "There was no reason to involve you. The kid knows the score. He realizes that Jason left for his own good."

"I'm surprised Reid let you get him alone. He's more than a little anxious around you," JJ teased with a half-smile. "You're sorta his rock star idol. I've never seen him beam like he did the day you walked into the bullpen."

"Once you get past the fact that the Beanpole is a walking, talking encyclopedia, he kinda grows on you," Dave chuckled, flicking his own stone into the water. "Of course, if you tell him I said that, I'll deny it with my last breath. I'm nobody's idea of a hero."

"Tell that to Spence." JJ grinned, shivering a little as the temperature inside the cave seemed to drop a few degrees.

Ever alert, Dave didn't miss the small shudder that quaked JJ's slender shoulders. Standing, he offered her his hand. "C'mon. You're cold and it's getting later. And I picked up fresh salmon to grill tonight. Your favorite, I believe."

Taking his hand, JJ allowed him to pull her to her feet and assist her back up the incline to the small cave path. "Exactly what did you promise Garcia to get all this information about me?" she asked in exasperation, awed that he had unearthed information as mundane as her taste in seafood.

"A good magician never reveals his tricks," Dave replied sagely. "And I do believe that it's my turn to ask another question."


	35. Chapter 35

**FORUM NEWS: Several fun things going on NOW on the Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum on !**

**1. Please swing by one of our newest threads and offer your suggestions and opinions for this year's third annual Criminal Minds Profiler's Choice Awards.**

**2. Check out another new thread "Cover Girls…the New Option for covers on . Read and share helpful tips for creating story covers.**

**3. The thread "Where, oh where, have the M Stories Gone? – This is a handy guide for readers to find where their favorite authors are posting their mature content stories these days. Authors, feel free to pop by and reply to the thread.**

**4. The thread "The Dog Days of Summer" mini-challenge. Come by and write a story for this fun summer challenge.**

* * *

**Thank you to everyone that has taken the time to read, review, favorite and alert our stories here on this site. We truly enjoy hearing from each one of you. Also, please check out our "M" stories at The Writers Coffee Shop (TWCS). If anyone needs a link or direction to the new site, please feel free to contact us through either a private message or while leaving a review and we'll make sure to get back to you. Each former "M" story is getting an overhaul as we publish it AND there are new stories being added all the time there as well. Again, we'll be happy to answer any questions you have. As always, we own nothing other than our plots and original characters. Now, on with the story…**

* * *

**The Fine Art Of Love and War**

**Chapter Thirty-Five**

Letting Dave pull her forward toward the yawning open in the cave, JJ rolled her eyes as she moaned. "You're determined to get your way, aren't you?" Why had she even bothered asking that pointless question? She certainly already knew the answer.

"I don't think that's any surprise, is it?" Dave chuckled, easily settling her smaller hand in his as they navigated the smooth cave floor. "Life would be much easier for everyone if they just accepted that fact at the beginning. That, and the reality that I'm always right and always know best," he added with an unrepentant grin.

"Your ego is quite the monster, isn't it?"

"Hey, I'm the one asking the questions here," Dave protested lightly, grinning down at her as he gently pushed a stray tendril of hair off her cheek. "And speaking of questions, here's the next one for you. You told me once that I had a role in you joining the Bureau. But I have a feeling that's not all of the story, is it? Wanna tell me the rest about how you came to be an agent?"

"As you said, I've shared that with you already, Dave," JJ countered immediately, shaking her head as she trailed her free hand against the cool wall of the cave, her fingers trailing the ancient rock. "You just want to hear me praise your book tour again, don't you? The great David Rossi changes the life of a farm girl from Pennsylvania," she teased with a roll of her eyes. "I don't think your ego needs any more stroking today," she added as she laughed.

"What I want is to know what motivates Jennifer Jareau, babe. You wouldn't have been just simply swayed by a good speech. Something else played into that decision, didn't it?"

"You mean that you don't think it was your stunning good looks or hypnotic voice that lured me in? I'm shocked," she replied, pressing a hand to her chest and widening her eyes dramatically. "Of _course_ that's what did it for me," she mocked, only half-kidding. He didn't really need to know he'd fed her fantasies for months after that night. She wasn't completely insane.

"Funny," he said sarcastically, lightly pinching her narrow waist, not enough to hurt, but just enough to get her attention. "C'mon, spill it, Jareau. You know I'm not gonna let it go and the longer you keep me waiting, the more determined I'll get. We both know how ugly and tedious that gets," he warned.

Sighing, JJ smiled. Of course he wouldn't let it go. David Rossi give up on something? Not in this lifetime. "Honestly," JJ said, following him over a steep incline, "It just seemed like a natural fit. I went to one of those career day seminars the college gave and Gideon was there. He liked me," she admitted as she shrugged.

"Jason liked your ass," Dave snorted, his eyes narrowing at that thought. "He always had a thing for blondes with pert asses," Dave grumbled.

"Pot, have you met the Kettle?" JJ asked curiously, grinning widely. "At any rate, he asked what my background was. Since I was a public relations major, that perked his ears up. Evidently, that was right around the time the BAU decided each unit needed a media liaison. The next week, I had a job interview. Strauss, Hotch and Gideon were my panel. I passed with unanimous approval, and the rest is history."

"Do you realize what you did?" Dave said, his jaw dropping. "You impressed DC's answer to Godzilla, babe. That's nothing to shrug over. Erin is notoriously picky and even harder to actually please. You did both."

"Honestly, she didn't seem that bad when I interviewed for the position. Maybe a little uptight…"

"A little? Sweetheart, the broom isn't just stuck up Erin's ass. It's been welded in there," he replied forcefully. "I believe you may be the only person I've ever heard about that was actually approved of."

Lips twitching, JJ offered Dave a sidelong calculating look. "Is there any chance that this animosity is rooted in sexual chemistry?"

"Oh, absolutely. I'm afraid my dick would be eaten away by acid if it ever got too close to her. That's definitely a chemical reaction, if I remember my science classes correctly. Even steel can be corroded if the right chemical hits it," he snorted, rolling his eyes as he slid his hand around her waist. "Is that your vague way of scoping out the competition, babe? If so, let me assure you that there isn't any."

"You wish," JJ muttered, embarrassed by how close to the truth he'd gotten.

"Actually, I kinda do," Dave replied honestly, stilling them both for a moment. "It might make me feel a little more confident about wooing you if I knew you actually cared that I could be interested in another woman, too."

"You like your women jealous, Rossi?" JJ asked in disgust, wrinkling her nose as she tried to ignore the thoughts of him with another woman at all.

"I like my women to _care_. There's a difference," Dave replied easily, tightening his hand on her hip when she would have stepped out of his arm.

"Not by much," JJ grumbled, shaking her head slightly. "Besides…is this what you're doing? Wooing me?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow as she turned her head toward him.

"You haven't noticed?" Dave asked, spotting the entrance to the cave looming ahead of them, the sunlight casting shadows along the walking path. Stepping in front of her, his eyes narrowed. "Maybe it's time to step up my efforts then." He smiled, backing her into the smooth stone wall.

His bigger body blotted the sunlight beckoning just a few feet away from them, but JJ found herself holding her breath, waiting for his advance. Her back met the rock wall behind her before she realized there was nowhere left to go. She couldn't retreat and he was blocking the path to freedom. "Now, Dave, it's been a pleasant few hours. Don't do anything hasty…." She said, pressing her hand against his chest, surprised how hard it was.

"Oh, I can assure you, JJ," Dave whispered against her lips, "this kiss will be anything _but_ hasty."


	36. Chapter 36

_**SPECIAL NOTE: SEPTEMBER signups are now open through AUGUST, 31, 2012 for the "THE MIX n MATCH CHALLENGE!" Details can be found at the forum. **_

_**Additionally, the steamy FINAL chapter of the Morgan/Garcia ficlet, "Sex on the Beach" available at both The Writers Coffee shop and Fractured-Reality. Com.**_

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Thirty-Six**

Several hours later, David Rossi's kiss still left her reeling. Blinking as the kindling snapped and crackled in the fireplace, she seemed transfixed as the burnt orange flame flickered. So much had happened in such a short amount of time.

There, in the cave, as he'd pinned her against the cool wall and claimed her lips, things had shifted between them. Instead of squirming for freedom, she'd leaned into him. Instead of fighting his hold, she'd twined her arms around his neck and pressed her body to his. And when she should have turned away and avoided his lips, she'd met them head on and thrown her entire body into those stolen moments.

Lightly touching lips that still tingled, she realized that she was out of her depth…and if she wasn't careful…very, very careful, she was going to drown in an ocean of David Rossi.

That scared her to death.

Knowledge was power. Without being told, she knew that if Rossi ever realized just how deeply he'd affected her this afternoon, he'd be an unstoppable, immoveable force that would swamp her life. Thrilling in the short term; utterly devastating in the long range scope of things.

She wouldn't go down that road again. Not without one hell of a fight.

Maybe it was just a physical attraction. God knew that her body readily responded to him. Even now, when she thought of his mouth moving masterfully over hers, she felt her breasts tighten and her core clench. Nobody had to tell her that he'd be an amazing lover. Every rumor she'd ever heard about him was true. He was entirely too skilled at knowing what a woman wanted.

Chewing her bottom lip as she examined the problem from every conceivable angle, she was no closer to finding a solution that when she'd agreed to his bargain of three dates. The way things were going, by the third date, he'd have her flat on her back and under his spell, willing to accept any arrangement as long as he was a part of it.

He was weakening her defenses, sliding into her heart with his charm and self-deprecating wit. He was insidious in that way, damn him. And more to the point, she was allowing herself to fall for it. It was those eyes of his…those dark orbs that invited her to fall into his gaze and simply lose herself.

She needed to fortify her weakened shields. How, she didn't know. Other than the kiss during which she'd been a willing participant, he'd been the picture of a perfect gentleman. There wasn't a single thing for her to complain about. He'd planned a perfect getaway, kept her well entertained, and been the soul of courtesy. Hell, he'd even proven to be a fantastic cook.

He was so freaking terrific, it made her teeth ache. It was a sad day when she couldn't find one quality to make her even the slightest bit agitated.

"You're entirely too quiet," Dave said from behind her, offering her a glass of wine over her shoulder.

Jumping slightly at the sound of his voice, JJ's shoulder bumped the glass he held. Taking it quickly, she turned her head. "You scared me!"

"Sorry," he apologized ruefully, slowly walking around the couch to take the seat next to her in front of the warm fire.

Settling back against the cushions again as she felt the weight of his leg brush hers, JJ took a quick sip of the sweet wine. "What were you saying?" she asked when the silence had stretched to the breaking point.

Smiling, Dave stretched an arm over the back of the couch as he fingered his own longneck bottle of beer. He'd have preferred a scotch, but he'd forgotten to bring a bottle with him. Heiniken would have to do for the night. "I was just saying that you're entirely too quiet this evening. You get this quiet and generally it means that my life is gonna go to hell in short order. Allowing you to think too long is dangerous to my health and sanity, Babe."

"I've been entirely cooperative today," JJ defended herself evenly.

"You have," Dave agreed, smiling. "Tell me the truth, Jen. Did you enjoy spending today with me?" he asked softly as he kept his eyes trained on the glowing fire in the hearth.

_Lie_, her mind screamed. _Lie your ass off. Shoot his hopes all to hell and make a mad dash for your formerly orderly life, JJ!_

Swallowing hard, the words thickened in her throat. Damn it, she was poised to take back her control. Why the hell couldn't she just open her mouth and say she'd had better days with unsubs?

"I…"

"Before you answer, I should mention that I'll know if you're lying and that will nullify our deal," Dave noted calmly.

Rolling her eyes, JJ sighed. "You already know that I enjoyed today. Don't ask me stupid questions," she grumbled, wrinkling her nose.

"Don't hold an internal debate with yourself debating lying to me and not expect me to read it all over your face," Dave returned easily. "You may not realize this, but you're pretty expressive."

"I am not," JJ denied immediately, schooling her expression into the most neutral one possible.

"Was I wrong? Were you not just sitting here beside me struggling to lie?" Dave asked bluntly, turning his head to level her with a knowing look.

Scowling, JJ pressed her lips together. "Some days, I really despise profilers," she muttered.

"If it helps, I won't share your tells with anybody else," Dave offered, picking up a strand of her hair and sliding it through his fingers.

"I don't have any tells. You're making that up," JJ accused, leaning into his touch in spite of herself.

"Sweetheart, your eyes are the only tell I need," Dave said quietly. "When you're cornered…or more accurately, when you feel cornered, they darken to the prettiest shade of midnight blue I've ever seen. When you're pissed, they're clear as an azure sky in summer. And when you're aroused, they turn the smokiest shade of cerulean that I've ever seen. Believe me, cara…I know the tells."

* * *

_**Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum news: I'll try to keep it brief.**_

_SEPTEMBER signups are open through AUGUST, 31, 2012 for the "THE MIX n MATCH CHALLENGE!" Details can be found at the forum. _

_There is a new discussion thread available called, "W_HY ARE OUR READERS NOT REVIEWING? We asked, and our readers answered!" _Please check it out and leave a comment._

_We also have another discussion thread entitled __**"**_**The Ups and Downs of Writing an Uncommon Pairing**_**"**__. Please let us know what you think! _

_A continued thank you to everyone that has taken the time to read, review, favorite and alert our stories here on this site. We truly enjoy hearing from each one of you. Also, please check out our "M" stories at __**The Writers Coffee Shop (TWCS)**__ and a Brand New site run by fellow CM authors, Kavi Leighanna, Sienna27 and The Truth Between called __**Fractured-reality. Com**__. If anyone needs a link or direction to the new site, please feel free to contact us through either a private message or while leaving a review and we'll make sure to get back to you. Each former "M" story is getting an overhaul as we publish it AND there are new stories being added all the time there as well._


	37. Chapter 37

_**SPECIAL NOTE: SEPTEMBER signups are open through AUGUST, 31, 2012 for the "THE MIX n MATCH CHALLENGE" and this is the LAST DAY to throw your hat in the ring. C'mon by and take a look. Details can be found at the forum. **_

_**AND NOW THE BIG NEWS- THE AWARDS SEASON HAS COMMENCED! Nominations have opened for the third annual Profiler's Choice Awards for Criminal Minds' fandom! Please visit Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum for the nomination ballot, rules and guidelines and category definitions. Please review ALL information BEFORE submitting your nomination ballot. Ilovetvalot, Tonnie2001969, and HXChick are NOT eligible for ANY awards. PLEASE COME BY THE FORUM AND TAKE A LOOK. EVERY NOMINATION BALLOT IS IMPORTANT!**_

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Thirty-Seven**

While she was certain that he was obviously overstating his abilities, JJ also realized that she wasn't going to take a chance that he was well capable of literally reading her mind. Taking another sip of her wine, she met his eyes as she countered, "You first. Did you have fun today?"

"I think it's obvious that I have. I planned this little shindig, remember?" Dave smiled down at her upturned face, the slight blush of warmth against her cheeks. "And don't think I can't recognize an evasive tactic when I see it. I wrote the book on that one."

"What haven't you written the book on, Dave?" JJ muttered even as she leaned her shoulder against his.

Dropping his Heineken bottle to the ground beside him, Dave reached out, his finger tipping her chin ever so slightly. "I think I also forgot to mention that when you're attempting to avoid a discussion, your eyes develop these stunning flecks of gold just around the edges."

Swatting at his hand, JJ rolled her eyes as she smiled in spite of herself. "Now I know you're full of crap, David Rossi. There's no physical way that could happen and you know it!"

Shrugging, Dave matched her smile as he said, satisfaction in his tone, "That's for me to know and you to have to figure out, babe. And no more avoidance. Yes or no…did you have a good time today?"

As his question settled in her mind, JJ realized that she actually had enjoyed everything about this wonderful day. "I might have," she admitted grudgingly, taking another sip from her glass, avoiding his eyes lest he find a way to see directly into her soul.

"She admits reluctantly," Dave laughed, his eyes crinkling. "You want to know the surprising thing?"

Shifting her gaze back to him, she quirked an eyebrow. "What?" she questioned suspiciously.

"Even with having to hijack you out there, this was the most at ease I've been in years," Dave admitted. "I've done my share of dating…wining and dining. But this…it felt natural. Not even I was prepared for that."

Hearing David Rossi sound this unguarded was shocking. He was known for being a smooth operator and playing his cards close to his chest, but in this moment he simply sounded as open and vulnerable as she felt. And because of that, JJ found herself relaxing. "Me either. I'm impressed that you thought of the cave…and the nature walk. I've missed being out in the woods. I don't go back to Pennsylvania often. This was a nice escape."

"At your disposal any time," Dave answered as he nodded. "With or _without_ me. Everyone needs to get away from the city from time to time. God knows, with the crap we see, we earn the time off."

Touched, JJ stared at him. "You'd let me use your hideaway? Alone?"

"Of course," Dave muttered, half wondering if he hadn't quite made himself clear throughout the day. "I'm not a complete asshole. And while I'd obviously prefer to share your company, I can understand the need to get away and be alone with your thoughts. Hell, it's one of the reasons I write up here. Nobody can find me."

"_You_ could find me," JJ pointed out with a grin.

"That's one added benefit," Dave acknowledged as he winked. "Do you want to get an early start back tomorrow?" he asked, privately praying she'd say no. These hours with her had only confirmed what he already knew. This was a hell of a lot more than physical attraction. He genuinely enjoyed her company. There easy conversation and companionable silences had been soothing. It felt easy to be with her, even if all they did was sit together on his couch.

Tilting her head, JJ smiled. "Got another cave you want to show me?" she teased.

"No," Dave chuckled, "but I can offer you a very nice sunrise on a blanket by the pond, followed by another excellent breakfast. It would mean another of my early wake-up calls, however," he said with twinkling eyes. "So I figured I'd give you a choice this time."

"Promise to wake me up _with_ a coffee bribe this time?" JJ bargained.

"Believe me, I think I've learned my lesson on that score. Next weekend, I may just push in a coffee cart ahead of me."

Giggling, JJ nodded. "In that case, I think I could stand to see a pretty sunrise," she agreed, her heart actually warming at the thought of what he might plan for next weekend.

Lapsing back into a comfortable silence, JJ felt her eyes begin to grow heavy, the exercise of the day combined with the wonderfully full belly from a delicious meal weighing on her.

Watching her eyelids droop, Dave gently shook her. "Hey," he said softly, "Why don't you hit the sack?" he nodded toward the open bedroom door. "I'll take the couch."

Blinking slowly as she focused on his face, JJ swallowed. "You can't sleep on this thing," she murmured, looking down at the sofa. Sure, it was fine for a nice evening by the fire…but sleep? Not hardly.

"I will be just fine. I promised you a perfect gentleman and a perfect gentleman I shall be," he said seriously.

Licking her lips slowly as she considered his statement, JJ said softly, "I believe you. Which is why you should come lie down in the bed." Unable to believe what she was going to say, she continued huskily, "I trust you."

"Really?" Dave asked with a hint of a smile.

"Fine, I trust you not to molest me in my sleep," she said, adapting her declaration as she rolled her eyes. "The point is that you've been nothing but the most gracious of hosts today. You deserve a decent night's sleep."

Nodding, Dave rose slowly, offering JJ his hand and pulling her up beside him. "Boy," he chuckled, clearly delighted by this recent turn of events, "We have made progress. But just so you know, I don't put out on the first date anyway," he informed her with twinkling eyes.


	38. Chapter 38

**CHECK THIS OUT, FRIENDS!**

We invite you to check out the newest Kindle publications….**The Estate** and **Inescapable Eye of the Storm **(written by Sarah O'Rourke – the alter ego of ilovetvalot and tonnie2001969!) If you're looking for a sexy romp in the fiction world, then these books are for you.

When desire meets delicious depravity, the only place to be is at **The Estate.** This multi-chapter story draws you into the secretive world of hedonism among the social elite...and refuses to let you leave until you have experienced all the delicious depravity that The Estate has to offer. **Inescapable Eye of the Storm** is the first in a series of FOUR books that will draw the reader into the erotic yet chaos-filled world Abigail Donovan and Colin Storm – and each of them finds out that the storm on the inside is far more dangerous than anything Mother Nature could throw their way!

Both books are available on Amazon/Kindle – just search for Sarah O'Rourke! Check out the author's Facebook page at .com (slash) .507. A link is provided on our profile pages here at fanfiction!

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Thirty-Eight**

Arching one pale brow as she let him lead her down the short hallway, JJ said with a mischievous grin, "That's not what the water cooler gossip has reported."

"You wound me, woman," Dave retorted, squeezing her hand as he used his other hand to goose her side. "Haven't you been paying attention, honey? That was my evil twin."

Taking a quick sidestep to avoid his tickling fingers, JJ hazarded a side glance as she trailed a finger along the edge of a nearby bookcase as they stepped into the plain bedroom. "You really aren't the same man you were before, are you, Dave?"

His footsteps slowing as he drew her to stand at the end of the bed, Dave smiled as he tilted her chin. "It's what I've been trying to prove to you all day, Jennifer. And if you'll give me a few more opportunities, I think I can make you believe it." Before she could comment, he leaned down and gently claimed her lips briefly. Drawing away from her, he turned her by the shoulders and pointed at a nearby chest. "There are jogging pants and t-shirts in the top drawer. Wear whatever you want. I'll change in the bath."

Quickly crossing the room as the bathroom door clicked closed, JJ selected a simple oversized shirt and quickly shimmied out of her clothes and into the soft tee. Climbing into bed, she slid under the covers, one eye on the shut door as the sounds of water running drifted into the room. _Steady, JJ, _she chided herself. One pleasant day and evening didn't the perfect man make.

Closing her eyes as the sound suddenly ceased and the door opened, she held her breath. The mattress dipped a moment later as he crawled into bed beside her, settling his head on the opposite pillow.

"Breathe, Jennifer." Dave yawned from beside her as he reached out his arm to flick off the lamp beside the bed. "Otherwise, you're gonna pass out."

How did she keep forgetting how perceptive he was? Rolling onto her side, she stuffed her fist beneath her chin as she squinted in the darkness. "That profiling thing is getting really old," she complained.

"Wasn't a profiling thing," he said, thankful the darkness covered his smirk. "Your lips were turning blue when I turned off the light." He grinned, turning on his left side to face her. "Sorry, that tell was pretty hard to miss."

"Well, excuse me…when a girl climbs into David Rossi's bed, I doubt she does much sleeping," JJ quipped. "I bet this is a first for you."

"You were the one that took the other option off the table," he teased. "Want me to give you a chance to reconsider?"

"You wish." JJ laughed, the bed shaking beneath them.

"I really do," Dave chuckled. "But I'm a patient man. I can wait you out, Jareau."

And closing her eyes, JJ wondered if she had the willpower to keep him waiting very long.

$$000$$

"And then what happened?" Penelope Garcia asked eagerly, hanging off every word and clutching her caramel macchiato to her chest as her eyes widened.

"I went to sleep," JJ confided softly, gripping her own black coffee in a grasp that threatened to crush the cup. "And, Pen, it was the best sleep I've had in _years_. It was that kind of sleep that just rejuvenates you."

"You trusted him enough to sleep with him, LoveBug! That's _huge_! No, no, it's bigger than huge, JJ! It's ginormous!" The technical analyst beamed.

"I don't know about that," JJ muttered under her breath, blushing. "It was just…."

"A groundbreaking event for _you_," Penelope replied enthusiastically, refusing to be swayed. "JJ, you won't share your bed with anybody for an entire night. Not since the dickhead. This is BIG."

"It kinda is, isn't it?" JJ whispered, her own eyes troubled as she looked at her best friend. "Pen, I think I may be getting in over my head here. David Rossi is so far out of my league. I mean, his reputation canvases decades, Garcia. DECADES! And I'm not exactly known for my ability to commit to more than coffee," she said, illustrating as she held up her half gone cup.

"You like him, Peaches. You've _always_ liked him," Penelope stressed.

JJ grimaced as she rolled her eyes. "Yes, it that unattainable, distant kind of way."

Shaking her head, Garcia waved a hand through the air. "What happens next? You agreed to three dates, didn't you?"

Nodding, JJ took another sip of her coffee. "Yeah, we're supposed to go out again Friday. He's picking me up after work and promises he'll return me Sunday evening. I'm still not sure how a date turns into two day, three night adventure, but…"

"But, nothing!" Garcia growled. "Where is he taking you this time?"

Shrugging, murmured, "He offered to let me choose, but I told him to surprise me. I can't believe I handed him that kind of control."

"You _trust_ him," Garcia squealed. "This is soooo romantic, Buttercup," she trilled, rubbing her hands together. "You've got your own personal Cary Grant!"

"That is not the analogy I would have made," JJ retorted as she snorted. "But I can't deny that I am sort of intrigued by him. For all his popularity, he is kind of a mystery."

"A riddle for you to unravel," Garcia said with a wriggle of her eyebrows.

"I'm afraid I'm the one being unraveled here, Garcie. He got me to confide in him. HIM! I don't know what came over me," JJ sighed as she leaned back in her chair.

"Dare I venture a guess?"

"When have I ever been able to stop you?" JJ asked dryly.

"True," Garcia agreed perkily. "I think our Handsome Italian Stud is exactly what Dr. Love ordered for you. He's old enough not to make the same mistakes, young enough for you to teach some new tricks, and wise enough to know that I'll end him if he hurts you with one click of my trusty mouse."

"Well, there is that," JJ giggled, letting herself enjoy the moment with her best friend. "In the meantime, I'll just have to hope for the best."

"Screw hope," Garcia snorted. "You've got a goddess on your side," she said, toasting JJ with her cup.

* * *

_**SPECIAL NOTE: AND NOW THE BIG NEWS- THE AWARDS SEASON HAS COMMENCED! Nominations have opened for the third annual Profiler's Choice Awards for Criminal Minds' fandom! Please visit Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum for the nomination ballot, rules and guidelines and category definitions. Please review ALL information BEFORE submitting your nomination ballot. Ilovetvalot, Tonnie2001969, and HXChick are NOT eligible for ANY awards. PLEASE COME BY THE FORUM AND TAKE A LOOK. EVERY NOMINATION BALLOT IS IMPORTANT!**_

_**Also, we have the Halloween Challenge ready for signups at the forum for anyone interested!**_

_**Also, please check out our brand new multi-chapter story, "Love That Does Not Die". It is a Newsroom/Criminal Minds crossover story focusing on the Will/MacKenzie dynamic with special help from David Rossi. Please give it a try!**_

_**Also, there is a new chapter of "You Found Me" available at The Writers Coffee Shop (TWCS) today!**_

_**As always, thank each of you for reading, reviewing, alerting and favoriting our stories. We truly appreciate each one of you.**_


	39. Chapter 39

**DON'T FORGET TO CAST YOUR VOTE FOR THE CRIMINAL MINDS PROFILER'S CHOICE AWARDS.**

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Thirty-Nine**

Staring at the understated grey lettering on the black window of the brick-fronted building, JJ felt her breath catch in her chest. Whipping her head around, she swallowed hard as she demanded, "David Rossi, how in the world did you arrange this? It's impossible!"

Shrugging as he tugged at her hand to pull her out of the pathway of a party of four moving toward the door of the restaurant, he leaned forward and whispered in her ear, "Nothing's impossible when you know the right people, Jen."

Wrinkling her nose as she sniffed, JJ had to admit that he had indeed surprised her this time. While she thought she had been ready for anything, she had wondered exactly what he had up his proverbial sleeve. And when her date for the evening had insisted on being more secretive than he normally was, she had begun to doubt her decision to let him make all of the choices for the weekend. No amount of wheedling during their hour-long trip had revealed a single detail, and it wasn't until just a moment ago that she finally realized his intentions.

"But, Dave," she protested, shaking her head wildly as she motioned toward the door, "It takes at least six months to get reservations at Magnifique. I know! Penelope tried to get them for my birthday last month!" Her words trailed off as her surprised eyes suddenly narrowed into a glare. "Wait just a minute, buster. I think someone's been selling state secrets when I've not been paying attention!"

"Penelope was a very helpful source of information and all I had to do was promise to show you a good time," Dave replied calmly as he grinned. "She didn't even demand a future favor in return. I think she's warming to me," he whispered against her ear, guiding her through the throng of people to the maître d'. "Two for eight o'clock under the name Rossi," he informed the tuxedo-clad man.

"Ah, yes." The man smiled easily, locating the name in his leather bound book. "Right this way," he murmured, collecting two menus and guiding the couple through the busy restaurant.

Following the tall man through the maze of tables, JJ wondered if she had fallen into the rabbit hole as he led them to a secluded booth in the back corner away from the foot traffic of the patrons. "What'd you have to do to get this table?" She smiled over her shoulder, lifting one eyebrow at the man trailing behind her.

"Trade secrets," Dave whispered dramatically, pressing a finger to his lips.

"Uh huh. " JJ chuckled as the maître d' stepped aside so that she could slide into the booth. Instead of sitting across from her, Dave nudged her hip and sat down beside her, his thigh pressing against hers underneath the table. Hiding her smile by dropping her head to the menu, she waited quietly while Dave ordered a bottle of wine and an appetizer.

Turning his head toward his date, Dave grinned. "So, are you suitably impressed so far, JJ?" he asked with a wink. "Penelope mentioned how much you enjoyed French cuisine."

"I am," she agreed. "But I don't think exploiting my friend's knowledge about me was part of the deal we had."

"I don't recall you placing any parameters on how I came by my information," Dave countered unapologetically. "Believe me, I was listening."

"I'll bet you were," JJ replied. "You're good at finding loopholes to work around things you see as impediments. You've been working around me and my objections for close to two weeks now," she accused lightly.

"You've definitely proven to be a worthy challenge. Turning on the charm just doesn't work with you." He winked, pausing when the waiter appeared to pour their wine.

Taking a sip of the obscenely expensive wine he'd ordered, JJ stared at him over the rim of her glass. "All right, out with it. What else do you have planned for this weekend? Do I actually get to go back and sleep in my comfortable bed tonight?"

"I will guarantee you a comfortable bed for tonight. I'd say after this last case, we both need one," he replied with an easy smile. "It won't, however, be yours."

"So, you're kidnapping me again?" JJ queried lightly as she tilted her head.

"To a wonderful little bed and breakfast in Loudoun County," Dave informed her. "Separate, but adjoining rooms," he added quickly before a protest could form on her lips. "I'm still determined to be a perfect gentleman. For now."

She knew she was in trouble when the words, 'for now', sent a little shiver of excitement shimmying down her spine. Her tongue touched her upper lip as she considered him for a few moments. "Well, you're pulling out all the stops again, aren't you?"

"Am I making it difficult for you to remember why you were fighting me yet?" Dave asked silkily, sliding an arm over the booth.

"It's getting harder to remember," JJ replied narrowly. "I wouldn't gloat just yet, Rossi," she added when his smirk grew. "I can barely remember my own name after this week. You're lucky I didn't renege on this little jaunt you had planned."

"Ahhhh," Dave chided, "but reneging forfeits the game on your part. Then, it's open season. So, by all means, if you'd like to cancel…"

"You're impossible," JJ accused with a laugh. "You, of all people, should be exhausted. Being held hostage for four hours does very odd things to your disposition." She shook her head.

"I think I did very well," Dave countered as he shrugged. "I didn't get shot," he remarked carelessly.

"You can stop joking about that any time now," she muttered tightly, gripping her wineglass. "If you hadn't finally agreed to wear that vest under your shirt, you'd be taking a dirt nap right now."

"Well, you were making a fairly insistent argument in its favor even though you sounded remarkably like a bitter fishwife while making it," he chuckled. In truth, her vehemence had touched him deeply. She'd discarded his need for authenticity as juvenile and declared in no uncertain terms that he'd go in undercover without a vest over her cold, dead body.

That chilling image alone had made him reach for the irritating garment she'd held in her hand. Looking at her now, he could see the memory still had the power to shake her. Reaching for her hand on the table, he tugged her closer. "Hey, everything turned out okay, didn't it? We're here, aren't we?"

* * *

_**SPECIAL SIDE NOTE – Sarah O'Rourke (the professional pen name that ilovetvalot and tonnie2001969 use) has released a NEW book on amazon. Com – Please swing by and check out **__**"The Devil's Snare"**__**. Please check out our other books as well. They are **__**"Inescapable Eye of the Storm"**__** and **__**"The Estate"**__** And please feel free to friend Sarah O'Rourke on Facebook!**_


	40. Chapter 40

_**Dear Friends,**_

_**It's been a while again, I know. With the hubby out of the country and both kids birthdays during the month of February, it's been a hugely busy time. Oh, the joy of being a military wife! But, I'm trying to be more consistent with updates now. We'll see how it goes. To those who have asked, NOTHING is being abandoned. It's just taking me awhile to get updated. My writing partner and I are working to bring you both quality chapters of fanfiction AND new, professional work by our pen name, Sarah O'Rourke. Those books are available on amazon and kindle. I hope you'll check it out. ALSO, to those that have asked, our story, "Unexpected Surprises" is no longer available on fanfiction. We have taken it down to revamp it into an original work for Sarah O'Rourke. We'll let you know when it is available. We hope you won't be disappointed.**_

_**Thank you for sticking with us! We adore hearing from you!**_

_**All our best,**_

_**Ilovetvalot and tonnie2001969**_

* * *

**The Fine Art of Love and War**

**Chapter Forty**

Nodding stiffly as she forced herself to draw in a deep breath, JJ muttered under her breath, "Only by the grace of God. For some reason, His Light seems to still be shining on you. I kinda consider that a miracle with your past," she teased, trying to inject some levity into the scary memory.

"I'll take the deity's help any day of the week," Dave replied with a smile, squeezing her hand again as he tugged her a few inches closer. "Come on, honey. All's well that ends well, right?"

"Quote Shakespeare all you want, Dave," JJ retorted as she turned to meet his eyes, pursing her lips. Honestly, was this man intent on driving her crazy at an early age? She couldn't form the words to explain how she had felt when he had declared earlier that day that he would face the homicidal unsub without any form of protection. Her heart had almost stuttered in her chest, and she had felt the air literally leave her lungs. The thought of him being hurt had been more than she could have managed. And yet, even as she relived that moment, she still couldn't explain exactly why she felt that way. Nothing was making sense any more.

Shaking her head as she tried to clear her thoughts, JJ added, "And just remember that the Bard wrote tragedies, also. We're lucky today didn't end that way instead of the way it did. Going in without so much as a vest was an asinine idea on your best day….and clearly, today wasn't in that category," she added with a snort and a glare up at his amused face.

Tilting his head as he stared into her darkening blue eyes, the dim light from the small chandelier over their table casting warmth and shadows both against her skin, he raised his hand and cupped her cheek. "You were really worried, weren't you, Jennifer?"

Her heart fluttered as she felt his fingertips caressing her skin. "Of course, I was worried, you idiot," she replied softly. "You could have been killed. Who else is going to argue with me about negotiating techniques if you're taking a dirt nap?"

"That's true," Dave responded with a grin. "You do seem to have the other males on our team cowed."

"Or, perhaps they just recognize good sense when they see it," JJ countered sweetly. "Either way, I was….," she trailed off, realizing that what she was about to say would definitely put points in his favor.

"You were what?" Dave challenged, his keen eyes narrowing as they watched her face.

"I was terrified, okay?" JJ snapped, unhappy that she was forced to admit that. She wasn't a liar, however. And she had definitely been _terrified_ during those moments when it had appeared that he was going to take a completely unnecessary risk. "You happy now?"

"Would you think a lot less of me if I said yes?" Dave asked, brushing his thumb against her chin affectionately.

"Probably," JJ retorted, rolling her eyes. "But I'm really glad you came through that okay," she added more softly. "It was touch and go for a few minutes there." During which her heart had taken up residence in her throat, she thought silently.

Leaning forward, Dave dropped a kiss lightly against her upturned lips. He'd seen her pale face when he'd finally emerged from the warehouse after their unsub had been subdued. Pale and shaken, she'd refused to meet his eyes until he'd forced her to look at him. What he'd seen in her gaze had given him more hope than he'd felt in ages because behind the horror and terror had been stark relief, relief that he was alive and unharmed.

And that look they'd exchanged had gone far beyond the accepted bond of friendship.

He hadn't pressed his advantage then, knowing she needed time and space to process what she felt. But, he was prepared to do so now. "Today proved something to me, JJ," he murmured softly, dropping his hand from her face to curl it around her shoulders and pull her toward him on the bench they sat on. "Your heart was in your eyes, sweetheart."

"You need glasses," JJ muttered uncomfortably under her breath, stiffening beside him. "What you saw was nothing more than professional concern."

"That's the biggest whopper you've told yet, Bella," Dave returned, laughing openly at her mutinous expression.

Suddenly furious, JJ pinched his side. "Would you quit laughing? It's not funny, Rossi. You could have been _killed_. So help me God if you tried to make that foolish choice today to garner my attention…."

"You know I wouldn't do that," Dave replied calmly, settling his hand on her shoulder. "Jen, I didn't want to wear my vest because I wanted the unsub to identify with me as a fellow man. I didn't want to wave the fact that he _could _kill me in front of his face by wearing that vest. Sometimes it's like saying , 'Hey! Opposition? It's right here'," he explained.

"It was stupid. He'd already shot two other people," JJ grumbled. "You were just determined to try and be a hero. Do you realize how badly today could have turned out, Rossi?"

"There's always risk, babe. It's my job to calculate how close those odds are."

"And today, you could have miscalculated and gotten yourself killed!" JJ argued. "It'd sorta put a cramp in your plan to woo me if you were six feet under, wouldn't it?" she asked sarcastically.

"Thing is, until today, I wasn't certain you gave a damn, Jen. I'm gratified to know that I was wrong. It means a lot to me."

"How could you doubt that?" JJ replied, gaping up at him. "I mean, I know I'm not the most forthcoming in my feeling, but, of _course_ I would care." Now more than ever, she added privately to herself. Because during those few panic filled moment while his life had hanged in the balance, she realized something critical.

Somehow, David Rossi had effectively wormed his way through her defenses and into her heart. He'd become important to her in a way she couldn't explain.

And even more terrifying?

She suspected the bastard knew it.


End file.
